It just struck me that I'm writing about my son's diarrhea.... odd that. Is this interesting? - probably not but something that I imagine all parents go through. My intent with this blog was to put another gay dad voice out there. As I was going through the adoption consideration process I read lots of blogs and devoured a lot of info. I noticed there were a lot of moms writing but not so many dads.

So I'm trying to put out there what it's like to be a parent and to show others that hey if I can do it you can too. I've read other blogs that weave these stories with tidy little endings. I can't really do that. So here you go another post about my son's bodily fluids. Enjoy!

zombie dad

E's diarrhea continued all night. I'm running on maaaybe 3 hours of sleep. I hope its the antibiotics causing the trouble. I'm at work but between worrying about E and my partner and nodding off now and then I doubt I'll get much done.

In unrelated news, Dixie Chicks have a new single out and they're still fighting the good fight and speaking out.

Check it out if you have a country leaning in your musical styling:

http://www.dixiechicks.com/default2006.asp

After I was safely ensconced at work this morning I had a call from my partner, apparently E had another case of explosive diar... well you get the idea. It reached over the ramparts of the diaper and onto his onesie. The nuclear accident occurred just as they were getting ready to walk out the door too. Being a parent is frequently disgusting (in case you hadn't gathered that already). Hopefully it's just a side effect of the antibiotics for the ear infection and will clear up now that he's off the cycle. He's happy as can be, you'd never know the evil that lurks in his rear.

Either way, I may get quite a reception when I pick him up this afternoon.

Wondering how Rupaul connects South Park, MI3, and Iraq? Check it out at her blog:

http://www.rupaul.com/weblog.shtml

Feeding time

E's appetite seems to have taken off. He gobbled up his dinner last night it was kind of dramatic. I have to admit I'm not exactly sure how all this works. I'm relying on him to tell me how much to eat. The baby literature is all so vague too with ranges of eating and drinking too, I want specifics!

Also, he's hit the clothing transition stage when the old size is too tight and he's moving up to clothes that all needs to be rolled up. Some lucky baby out there is about to get a care package of outgrown clothes.

I've been a bit dubious that E's babbling has meant anything but my partner insisted that he knows da-da. "Nah, he's just making noise." then he asked him "Where's daddy?" and he turned to look at me! not just once but several times.

Wow, it's just the most amazing feeling. I don't know if everyone goes through the whole attachment worries but when you're waiting for your child it's like each day is a missed opportunity. I wondered does he know I'm his dad?

So this was such a relief and a mighty pull on the heart. All is right in the world.

My little man has a cold - his first illness. It's the dreaded daycare cold which hit almost like clockwork after enrollment. He appears to be in a pretty good despite the constantly runny nose. Actually I think it bothers me more than him since I have to practically chase him with the tissue to get at his nose. So tonight I get to clean his nose out. It's amazing how being a parent shows you how much you don't know.

Today is the last day at home with my little man. Next week we start daycare. I woke up early and got instantly depressed. This time that we've had together has just flown by. The morning are always the best time too he wakes up with this huge grin.

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off for some play time. I think someone needs a tickle.

With a rebel yell he cried More! More! More!

E has added yelling to his communication oeuvre. He seems to be testing out various shrieks and screams to see what exactly will come out. It can be a bit unsettling as you try to drink a cup of coffee and this tiny thing explodes in noise.

The dog grows more pensive.

THE FIT

Is there anything worse than the tantrum? We're in the middle of a nuclear meltdown. It started innocently enough with a simple visit to the playpen while Dad went to use the restroom and there's been no abating since. The cries urge you to pick him up and then when he instantly turns off the spigot you feel played, played like you answered that junk mail for the russian bride who is really interested in visiting Ammerica and havfing funn.

Oh and don't even think about breakfast, the crawler will find you no matter where you go.

ding ding

Round 2!

Defensive Stance

The wee one and I take a walk every day mostly for dad's sanity. We hit the park mostly where I enter the Kingdom of Moms.

Before the his arrival I'd heard about dads getting comments or even hostility from strangers at the sight of a gay dad and his son so I've been prepared. I've got my skillz and I'm ready to protect my family. The only problem? Nothing has happened. The worst is a woman commented to me as I was leaving a govt. office that I should put his jacket on before going outside. (I told her I was going to do it in the lobby because apparently he has an allergic reaction to sleeves.) Yeah this was rude but I couldn't claim a hate crime exactly.

So as I cross out Mother on yet another form and write in Dad I'll take a moment to thank the mothers with open minds and the gay dads who came before me.

happy talk

E has started jabbering, it's simply the cutest thing in human history. He gets this look of concentration and does this mah mah mah thing. It usually happens when he's eating so I think his first word will probably be "more."

calm

The paper is being written, the plans are being finalized, the documents are being checked. In just a few days we fly off to pick up the little turtle. Wish us luck!

Transition

I'm trying to finish up my class, writing a paper, and dealing with big work project. All in all terrible timing for all this busy-ness. The call could come any day now. I won't miss this constant anxiety and wondering. Of course we are warned about how different everything will be.

Deep breath.

Ready....

Imminent Domain

It looks like the little one will be home soon. It's thrilling and exciting. Can't say too much for fear of jinxies.

Mother

So, we received a picture of the birth mother last week. I wasn't expecting to feel guilty. OK, my first shallow thought was she's pretty thank god. Then I felt really bad for taking her child. I know intellectually that this was her decision but it just feels weird. We will have her contact info and we're already planning on sharing that at some later date. Our friends who are getting the twins are going to meet their birth mother this week. I wonder if the decision is easier or more difficult because of this meeting. Maybe with more contact everything just becomes more complicated.

Day care

I worry about daycare. Is it the right thing to do? I know that there are perfectly happy healthy children who have grown up in daycare but part of me feels like I should be staying home. We looked at the numbers and I don't see how one of us (probably me) would stay at home. Would the added stress of a lower income be worth it? How would family life suffer when faced with moving much further out and my partner's commute doubled, tripled?

travel baby

We received word that we could travel to Guatemala to visit our son! So now we are working with the agency concerning possible dates in August. Now, about getting that nursery finished and assembling the diaper bag.


gulp

Such a vicious world

Seeing the violence in London flashes me back to the attacks in DC. I feel for the insecurity and reality shredding that people must be going through. You're going about your business like any other day, finishing breakfast, heading off to work when news of explosions reach you. These aren't in some other part of the world but across town or even down the street.

What a vicious world.

Marriage!

So it's official, Spain and soon Canada will be joining the League of Equal Rights Nations. Retiring to that sunny little home on the southern coast of spain is sounding better and better.