Being a parent has pushed me into trying, experiencing new things. Some are things I never dreamed even existed. Some involve messes in places I never even dreamed possible and some are joys that I didn't know were even in the realm of possibility.
E woke up last night from either a coughing jag or a nightmare I don't know. I think as parents we're always tired because we operate with this hyper-alertness that in my case even extends to sleep. Little noises can wake me and trigger a house scan to make sure everyone is where they should be and everyone is safe. E's cries weren't subsiding so I went into his room to calm him down. I rubbed his back as he drifted back to sleep and it hit me how simple and powerful this was. This ability to soothe and take care of your child is almost primal and instinctive and it filled me with peace.
Another first, I made cookies for the school's holiday party. A local singer had come and everyone spread out blankets to hear songs both holiday and toddler-friendly. Picture a room of parents and 30+ kids with singing and dancing. The little ones can't control themselves they have to move, they have to jump, they have to dance. I never imagined that I would find this relaxing but then again I never thought I'd be able to drive on the Beltway either.
At first E is bouncing around the room but the lateness of the hour brings him back to me. L tiptoes in late and E squeals in delight reverting it seems back to infant joy. This is my idea of staying out late now. The two-year-olds have staggered back to their parents' arms as the 3's and 4's keep bouncing away til last call. E's in my lap and L is leaning against me as the lights come back up. It's 7 pm and it feels like 4 am on a Saturday. Now at least when a friend tells me about going clubbing I can now answer yeah, I went out dancing too and it was the best time I've ever had.
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3 comments:
So sweet! :)
This post brought tears to my eyes. I do hear what you hear. I completely know what you mean ... about the primal joy of being able to comfort and soothe your child, about the dancing with toddlers which is so infectious and joy-making, about the sated fatigue of 7pm feeling like a 4am after-party. This post truly does define so much of the absolute consuming, exhausting, awesome joy that is parenting. You're a wonderful Dad, Brian.
too cute!
I wanted to share this "make your own holiday ecard" widget with you... I thought you might enjoy it. It's called the Pampers Peace on Earth Widget, and you can customize it with pictures of your kids or any other photos you want to share with your friends & family... You can then watch a playback slideshow widget that shows your photos mixed in with the Pampers TV commercial baby images, all played to the theme song “Silent Night”. If you copy and paste the code of your free online slideshow widget to your blog, you can share it with your readers. check it out here: www.rocketxl.com/pampers/
happy holidays!
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