V-day

Had a really lovely Valentine's Day... well actually I feel like the celebration started weeks ago. E has started just randomly telling me "I love you, Daddy." It just melts me. He'll be playing along and just look up and say "I love you, Daddy." out of the blue. Wow. Valentine's was just a Thursday when you have that going on.

Also he's starting to sing songs while he's playing. You wonder how much your kids are paying attention when you play music or sing or whatnot and I'll catch him singing entire verses to songs. I've always been a big music fan, looking out for new stuff so I'm thrilled that he's catching the musical bug.

No news on the paperwork front. I'm waiting, waiting for the I-171 approval. While the wait is going on, I'm fearing that some of my older documents are getting past their prime.

Process

So, like much of the Vietnam adoption community, I've been processing this latest salvo from the state dept. If you are in process you already know what it says but for the rest of you I'll summarize, No one knows what will happen after September when the current agreement between the US and Vietnam will expire. Cases in process will continue under the current rules but future cases are in limbooooooooo.

Well bite me.

We switched from Guatemala because the system was imploding. We had begun with an agency and it was raided. The children were confiscated and placed in various foster homes and and the nightmare begin and continues for the families. (The agency has since been vindicated but that won't be making the international news.)

So, after much research we found our new country and our new agency. My fingerprints are done and I'm waiting for my I-171 and then my dossier will get certified and blah blah and then submitted to the Vietnamese embassy. I'm all in. I have to think that the two countries will work this out. There is desire on both sides to help the children and the corruption doesn't seem nearly as pervasive as in Guatemala.

I think this will work out. Sometimes you have to jump off the diving board and commit..... now it's just waiting for that splash.

Hopin, Wishin, Waitin

I completed the draft review of my homestudy and sent it back to the social worker for corrections. Once I receive that I'll send the doc to my placement agency for review. I hate this part, waiting for others to complete a task. I'm afraid I had a bit of a meltdown a couple nights ago, arguing with L that we need to get things moving. I know the long wait is coming and so I want all the paperwork done. We haven't even begun the authentication process yet. There's no point starting until the docs are all at a common point.


The medical doc is done and I have my police clearances so really it's the homestudy that is holding things up, just like last time. Coincidentally it's also happening around the holidays. I wanted to be done in November. Ka-plow. Now, I'm looking at the end of December for dossier completion.

Now, I'm reading all I can about Vietnam adoption too. I think I'm better at filtering out the alarmists at this point. The process takes a certain amount of protectiveness. You take in as much as you can ignore the doom and focus on the positive. It's going to be a long night moon. I have my little man and he needs me. The rest is up to the universe.

Happy Family

HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam — Actress Angelina Jolie picked up a 3-year-old boy from a Vietnamese orphanage Thursday and headed to a ceremony where she was expected to adopt the child, officials said. The star, who arrived in Ho Chi Minh City on Wednesday night, carried the boy from the Tam Binh orphanage to a waiting Toyota van. They were expected at the Department of Justice in Ho Chi Minh City where an official ceremony will be carried out to complete the adoption.

...

Good for her. I know the current thinking is that foreign adoptions are the latest fad but Jolie doesn’t seem to be seeking out the attention for her little family. We see little Maddox happily tagging along to meet his brother.

There seems to be an underlying prejudice that families created through adoption are done with less thought or are somehow suspect because of the manner in which they are created. Under the celebrity births announcements in Entertainment Weekly I rarely see questions about why they are having kids.

Let’s allow the Jolie's a little space and give them the room to grow. I think this cross-cultural family is a beautiful thing and I wish them much love.

Common Grinds

From the President’s speech in Guatemala:

“We also talked about adoption. I don't know if my fellow citizens understand this, but there are a lot of U.S. families who adopt babies from Guatemala, thousands of babies. This year it is very important for the United States and Guatemala to implement the Hague Convention on adoptions to help protect children and families during the adoption process. We found common ground on that issue. And I appreciate your strong stand, Mr. President, and I assured the President we would follow through, ourselves. “

So, in summary, um, what? Lots of families adopt from Guatemala. We are implementing the Hague Convention and we agreed on lots of things. Thanks for that insight. I’m sure that all the families who are in process nervously awaiting news of their children’s arrival will take great comfort in your agreement.

We would love to go back to Guatemala but the uncertainty surrounding this treaty is too great. The nightmare situation is accepting the referral of the child and then you find out that all placements stop while they work out the terms of the implementation. No one has any idea what will happen. If Vietnam is any indication then the country could close for 2-3 years.

I understand the intent of the agreement but frankly I think it is the families who suffer while the governments work out the terms. The Guatemalan and American families deserve more than platitudes, they deserve concrete examples of the steps the US government will take to ensure that families are reunited as quickly as possible.