Update

San Diego was marvelous. The weather was perfect... 75 and sunny every single day. It's the kind of place that you get home from and immediately start looking at real estate prices.

Sea World was phenomenal, LegoLand was surpisingly frustrating, more to come...

Here comes the son, do de doo doo

So in a few short days we'll be boarding a plane for our first cross-country trip. I'm excited and nervous for all of us. It's going to great to get out of town and experience some sun with the son.

I've packed the toys, and books, games, and movies. I think we're about as prepared as we can be.

Wish us luck and happy equinox to you!

Ciao, chow

I'm in the classic office space where the cubes face one other individual. I'm fluxing between positions and right now I'm in a sort of holding cel until my new space opens. What's all this about? Well, my office mate never eats. This normally would be a good thing, there's nothing worse than a noisy office eater... however...

I've become horribly self-aware of my own eating. I get to work at an ungodly hour and forgo breakfast until mid-morning. So, I sit here eating my oatmeal and he's over there Terminator-like in his unhealthy non-eating, work-focused attitude.

I have my pre-workout snack and he's still not eating, clacking away at his assignments. After gym, I'll eat lunch at my desk and still, I've observed no eating. I try to hold off but I have to snack around 3ish and nothing still. He's probably eating, I hope, something while I'm working out. It would really make me feel better if he'd just wait until I got back so I wouldn't feel all this food guilt.

How can he be so selfish?

paper pregnant

We just got our last document from the government (the I-600a approval, I 797? I forget.) Anyway, just a few more steps, notarize, authenticate, embassy approval and then dossier to Vietnam. Soon, I'll be paper pregnant!

No one knows what's going to happen exactly. I just want to get the paperwork in so I can relax and stop my mental checklist. First time around we waited literally three days to get a referral so this will be a much different experience.

Aaah, patience, we're about to become good friends again.

Frosty the mud puddle

We're getting up in the 50's again today and 60's later this week. It's all rather surreal. I don't think I've gone this long without some sort of snow before. We've had a few piddling inch or so but it's always been gone in a matter of days. I fear this may be the new pattern for our area.

I want to build a snowman and show E how to make a snow angel. I had to get some keys made yesterday and I saw all the sleds stacked up along the side of the hardware store. I realize it's a luxury when I wake up and think oooh it's cold, it must be in the 20s, considering the arctic blasts some friends are receiving.


Oh no, watch us get a freak storm right before our flight.

I take it back. No snow the rest of the season.

Weekend

Busy week here as I've started my new job. Also, we've finalized our vacation plans! Details to come.

If you have any keeping a toddler happy on an airplane tips I'd love to hear them.

Happy weekend everybody.

Friendly Skies

We got E a fisher-price airplane for Christmas. It's one of those Little People planes with various people going on vacation and a little pilot to fly the big plastic jet. He's really enjoyed it, putting all the people in and sending them to parties. He loves the parties.

He'll say the various phrases the plane cheerily spouts like "Ready for take-off!" and "Welcome aboard!" Well, one day he was walking around spouting something unusual. I asked him, "where did you get that?" He says "from the airplane."

I hunt down the plane and cycle through... listening carefully. Finally, I hear the culprit. "E, it says enjoy your flight, not enjoy your butt."

Not so sunny

Shocking story out of Miami as a mother falls ill and a Florida hospital refuses visitation for her partner and her children:

OLYMPIA — Four months ago, Lacey resident Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Pond and their children Katie, David and Danielle, ages 10 to 13, were set for a relaxing cruise from Miami to the Bahamas.

But Pond, Langbehn’s partner for nearly 18 years, was stricken in Miami with a brain aneurysm and died. The family says the way they were treated by hospital staff compounded their shock and grief.

Langbehn, a social worker, said officials at the University of Miami, Jackson Memorial Hospital did not recognize her or their jointly adopted children as part of Pond’s family. They were not allowed to be with her in the emergency room, and Langbehn’s authority to make decisions for Pond was not recognized.

“We never set out to change the world or change how others accept gay families,” Langbehn told the crowd at the Capital City Pride on Sunday. “We just wanted to be allowed to live equally and raise our children by giving them all the same opportunities their peers have.”




Read the full story below: I don't know that I'll be taking any trips to Florida any time soon. Lacey woman shares tale of denial at bedside of her dying partner

rawr

When the package says temporary tattoo... that means 2 or 3 days.

/ walking around with large orange tyrannosaurus rex on my hand

V-day

Had a really lovely Valentine's Day... well actually I feel like the celebration started weeks ago. E has started just randomly telling me "I love you, Daddy." It just melts me. He'll be playing along and just look up and say "I love you, Daddy." out of the blue. Wow. Valentine's was just a Thursday when you have that going on.

Also he's starting to sing songs while he's playing. You wonder how much your kids are paying attention when you play music or sing or whatnot and I'll catch him singing entire verses to songs. I've always been a big music fan, looking out for new stuff so I'm thrilled that he's catching the musical bug.

No news on the paperwork front. I'm waiting, waiting for the I-171 approval. While the wait is going on, I'm fearing that some of my older documents are getting past their prime.

Ay-yay-yay

I'm still waiting for my I-171 approval. Grrr it's frustrating. It's the last, very last piece that I need. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

I can't seem to focus on much else. I know it would still be early but I'm so anxious to get in line for our little one and I know there'll be a good long wait once we get the dossier in. Still, I'll be able to relax a little and focus on a couple other things that we need to take care of.

We're taking E to his first little concert this weekend. It should be interesting. He loves music and it's a kid-oriented show so I think we'll all have a smashing time.


It's really beautiful out and I'm stuck in this hermetically sealed office building. Oy.

More later, I'm off to obsessively read about Vietnam. It's very healthy!

One day in Iraq

I don't really like doing 2 youtubeish posts in a row but this vid is too powerful to let go. I've thought about this question many times:

Swan Dive Serenade

We could do with some levity around here so I want to introduce you to one of the best kept musical secrets. I don't recall how I stumbled across Swan Dive but this song "Circle" really helped pull me out of a difficult funk (long story best told later). It's full of joy and bounce and I keep coming back to this song year after year. It's definitely a throwback to a Bacharach kind of vibe and I dare you to stand still while this is playing. Better yet get up and dance with me. You'll find E and me dancing around the kitchen in our socks, better to get your glide on.

Happy Weekend my friends!

Process

So, like much of the Vietnam adoption community, I've been processing this latest salvo from the state dept. If you are in process you already know what it says but for the rest of you I'll summarize, No one knows what will happen after September when the current agreement between the US and Vietnam will expire. Cases in process will continue under the current rules but future cases are in limbooooooooo.

Well bite me.

We switched from Guatemala because the system was imploding. We had begun with an agency and it was raided. The children were confiscated and placed in various foster homes and and the nightmare begin and continues for the families. (The agency has since been vindicated but that won't be making the international news.)

So, after much research we found our new country and our new agency. My fingerprints are done and I'm waiting for my I-171 and then my dossier will get certified and blah blah and then submitted to the Vietnamese embassy. I'm all in. I have to think that the two countries will work this out. There is desire on both sides to help the children and the corruption doesn't seem nearly as pervasive as in Guatemala.

I think this will work out. Sometimes you have to jump off the diving board and commit..... now it's just waiting for that splash.

Subtle Subtitle.

I came across this Japanese potty training video. I think this is what my blog should be about, sharing Japanese potty training videos with hysterical subtitles. Are those squat toilets common in Japan? Be afraid.

Securing our borders

You can't walk into the USCIS office, you have to make an appointment. I set mine up for 10:30 and arrive 20 minutes early. I'm not familiar with the area nor was I sure where to find parking. I've brought my book (The Golden Compass, quite good actually) and my journal that I got myself for X-mas. Some 90 minutes go by before I get to approach the window to hand in my I-600a to the Helpful Customs Agent (HCA).

I hand in my application and say "The instructions say copies are ok. Can I give you a copy of my homestudy?"
"Your agency is supposed to send that in."
"But I have it right here, can't I just give it to you?"
"Usually they send it in."
"Well I can ask them to mail it to you if that's what you want."
"Let me check." / HCA leaves by a door in the back behind all the bank-teller like windows.....
"We can take it. Do you have an original?"
/ha ha I think! "Sure I brought an original too. Also here's my birth certificate."
"We can take a copy of that." / why is that copy ok? I have no idea.

We stare at each other.

"Anything else?" She has that why are you still here look.
"Don't I need to be fingerprinted?"
"Yeah, we need to set that up."

We stare.

"Can I do that here?"
"Yeah, we can set up that here if you want."
"Okay that would be great. It would save me another trip down here." I smile and pretend I'm walking along the boardwalk on Rehoboth Beach.

We stare at each other some more. I wonder how thick the glass is and if I hit it would it crack? It's a good thing the glass is there.

"Do I set it up here?"
"Yeah we'll do that for you."
"OK, that's great."
"You can pay for both the application and the fingerprinting together."
"Swell."

...

"You can have a seat."
"OK!" I chuckle a little trying for a ha ha, I'm such a goof.

I'm thinking I have no number, no receipt, I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. I scan the faces behind the windows. No one is looking for me. There's no activity....

Finally my name is called by HCA. "Here's your receipt take that with you to get your fingerprints."

...

"Is that here?"
"It's across the street."
"Does the building have a name?"
"It's in the Bank of America building."
"Do I walk in and talk to a guard?"
"Just walk in and it's on your left."
"Do I need an appointment?"
"Hold on, let me check." She steps back to confer with HCA2. "They take walk-ins on Monday."
"Great. Thanks so much for your help."

Making my exit, I see thankfully the building is indeed across the street and oh thank god there it is right when you walk in.... only... It's closed. Not a soul is inside. There is no contact number on the door either. I see a security guard in an office directly across.

"Um is that the fingerprinting office?"
"Yeah that's it. It's closed."
"Will it reopen after lunch maybe?"
"No it's closed every Monday."






/ head exploding

update

Hello all!

I'll be submitting my I-600a next week! Hopefully the approval will come 4 weeksish after that. The important thing is that paper is moving. I hate those still times when I'm waiting for someone else to finish something. I have one more document outstanding but at least I have other things that I can work on over the interim.

E's been fighting this cold all week so he's been waking up intermittenly coughing. He's fine during the day but the drainage really affects him. So, Daddy has not been getting a lot of sleep either. It's really wearing on me today. I'd put my head down on my desk right now if I thought I could get away with it.


Project Runway was terrible this week wasn't it? Still we have Rami. mrwor.

Just got word that the final draft of the homestudy was on its way to me.

/ hoping that all of my corrections were captured

/ eeeee

I dream of Vietnam. How much of it will prove to be real and how much is fantasy I don't know, but images come to me. I picture heat and palms and traffic. There are children selling, selling, selling and people honking and rushing with all kinds of goods stacked Suessian high on motorbikes. Papers swirl around me waiting for governmental stamps and ribbons of approval. I'm stopped by the deep, dark eyes of kids. Their's is a timeless, knowing gaze. Is he there? Is she this one?

I hate the waiting. I want to go the office and slam my homestudy on the desk and say "Here, take five freakin minutes and review this document."

I try to breathe in and think of Vietnam... Guatemala invades and morphs the countries into a rainforest mix. There's E waiting for me and there's a brother or sister, I can't see. It's all too distant and there's so many papers to go, so many offices to visit, so many miles to travel.

Right now, there's dinner, and bathtime, and play. The night will come, morning will rise and I'll make another call. Put on your happy voice and nudge things along, sooo sloooooowly

as a breeze hits the palm tree

and the insects sing

for you my little one

waiting so far away.

Iowon't

Hello all!

I'm back. Catching up on some work projects and getting back into the groove. We had a fabulous Christmas and week off. aaaah.

sidetopic rant:

Can I just say how sick I am of hearing about Iowa and its freaking primary. I really don't care what that solitary state has to decide. Why should that little select group have so much undue influence on the election. Move all the freakin primaries up to the same day and be done with it!

gah.

Anyway,

Glad to see you all again, B

Merry X-mas to all!

We're doing Christmas at our house this year so there will be much frenetic cleaning happening in the next 24 hours. I still haven't even finished wrapping all the presents yet either. I'm so excited about this holiday. I can't wait to see E unwrapping all those gifts and he's got lots to unwrap too. The gift order will go something like this E, E, E, E, E daddy, E, E, E, E, E, pappa, E, E, E... I'll be glad to get some new gifts as well. My enthusiasm for the old toys is really waning.

So, here's my Christmas wish to all of you. May your holidays be joyous and the new year prosperous. Peace to you and yours my friends. Mwah!



photo by me!

The internet is full of all sorts of useful applications:

Why I love Takoma Park

Image from the Fourth of July Parade:



Street sign:





Trombone Quartet at gazebo:



photos by flickr user takomabibelot

Do you hear what I hear?

Being a parent has pushed me into trying, experiencing new things. Some are things I never dreamed even existed. Some involve messes in places I never even dreamed possible and some are joys that I didn't know were even in the realm of possibility.

E woke up last night from either a coughing jag or a nightmare I don't know. I think as parents we're always tired because we operate with this hyper-alertness that in my case even extends to sleep. Little noises can wake me and trigger a house scan to make sure everyone is where they should be and everyone is safe. E's cries weren't subsiding so I went into his room to calm him down. I rubbed his back as he drifted back to sleep and it hit me how simple and powerful this was. This ability to soothe and take care of your child is almost primal and instinctive and it filled me with peace.

Another first, I made cookies for the school's holiday party. A local singer had come and everyone spread out blankets to hear songs both holiday and toddler-friendly. Picture a room of parents and 30+ kids with singing and dancing. The little ones can't control themselves they have to move, they have to jump, they have to dance. I never imagined that I would find this relaxing but then again I never thought I'd be able to drive on the Beltway either.

At first E is bouncing around the room but the lateness of the hour brings him back to me. L tiptoes in late and E squeals in delight reverting it seems back to infant joy. This is my idea of staying out late now. The two-year-olds have staggered back to their parents' arms as the 3's and 4's keep bouncing away til last call. E's in my lap and L is leaning against me as the lights come back up. It's 7 pm and it feels like 4 am on a Saturday. Now at least when a friend tells me about going clubbing I can now answer yeah, I went out dancing too and it was the best time I've ever had.

Known when to say when

If you only see one youtube video about drunk monkeys, this should be it:



I'm so shallow. The monkeys falling over completely toasted around 2:45 is highlarious.

The crying, the stitch, and my wardrobe.

I run over to Target at lunch to pick up a couple Christmas presents and when I get back into the driver's seat I notice something. What's that? Oh my. My pants have split right at the crotch. The seam has just unravelled exposing my calvin's to the world. I don't remember that being there this morning when I pulled them up. Of course I'm half asleep when I dress so it's likely I just missed it.

I'm thinking back to this morning when I was talking to my co-workers and I was probably sitting with knees apart. Did they notice? I've only been here less than 4 months so would they be comfortable enough to say hey, you're flashing.

Two months ago I was getting something behind my desk and the corner of my cargo pant pocket caught and ripped a perfect line in the front of my pant. I was wearing boxer briefs at the time and there they were. So this makes 2 underwear flashing incidents in a new office in the span of three and a half months. I had to tell my office mate about the front rip because it was so apparent. I may have to let this one slide and simply sit demurely through the rest of the day.

Ho, Ho... Ho?

I don't know why it didn't occur to me before but as we raced through the mall to finish up our shopping we came across the elaborate Christmas Land display in the intersection of the corridors. I hate malls and I hate all the faux holiday cheer. Oh yes Macy's I'm sure you're wishing me a Merry Christmas from your truly altruistic nature.... and yet... The big tacky showy Santa spectacles fill my heart with joy. It's so disjointed, like coming across a Hawaiian Luau in the middle of parking lot.

The songs were playing the fake snow was flying through the air and there sits Santa. This was a good Santa too. The beard and the belly was real and he had just the right touch of joviality. The looping tape wished us Happy Holidays in a variety of accents. Little dioramas showed us Christmas scenes across the world. Look the little pagoda has xmas lights strung across its pointy roof.

As we approach Santa I prepare to give my speech, "It's OK E I'll be right here for you. Santa just wants to find out what you want for Christmas," I rehearse. I let go of E's hand and he runs up to Santa. Uuuuh. OK he's lifting him onto his lap, here comes the breakdown.... and nothing. Santa looks at me, "Daddy you need to back up behind the camera."

"Uuuuh Ok, I was just you know, he's uh. OK. I'll be back here."
The elf has already whispered his name to Santa so he cuts right to the chase. "So, E what would you like for Christmas?"

E looks at him and with complete confidence states, "I had eggs and toast for breakfast."

whew, he still needs me. This year's list will be easy to take care of.

Hopin, Wishin, Waitin

I completed the draft review of my homestudy and sent it back to the social worker for corrections. Once I receive that I'll send the doc to my placement agency for review. I hate this part, waiting for others to complete a task. I'm afraid I had a bit of a meltdown a couple nights ago, arguing with L that we need to get things moving. I know the long wait is coming and so I want all the paperwork done. We haven't even begun the authentication process yet. There's no point starting until the docs are all at a common point.


The medical doc is done and I have my police clearances so really it's the homestudy that is holding things up, just like last time. Coincidentally it's also happening around the holidays. I wanted to be done in November. Ka-plow. Now, I'm looking at the end of December for dossier completion.

Now, I'm reading all I can about Vietnam adoption too. I think I'm better at filtering out the alarmists at this point. The process takes a certain amount of protectiveness. You take in as much as you can ignore the doom and focus on the positive. It's going to be a long night moon. I have my little man and he needs me. The rest is up to the universe.

Razzle Dazzle

It makes sense that this fabulous creature would appear on the trippy kids' show Yo Gabba Gabba. I've seen every episode many many times now. You remember her from the I'm the Internet psa fighting for net neutrality.

So, here's Leslie and the Ly's video. What am I thankful for? Gold Glittery Jumpsuits.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Game over, water boy

I've always hated Adam Sandler. Back when he was on Saturday Night Live he was just mildly annoying. I could fast forward through his bits to get to the good parts. His idea of a skit was Opera Guy? I mean come on. My son comes up with better routines tooting in the bathtub.

Then Chuck and Larry comes out. No I haven't seen it but I don't need to watch Hostel to know how bad that is either. In the preview the hot chick asks Chuck/Larry to feel her up. I can tell you that supermodels don't run up to me asking for body checks.

Now, I find out Sandler is contributing money to the Guiliani campaign. Sweet Jesus. I think it was Biden who pointed out that Guiliani thinks 9/11 is a verb. Congratulations Sandler you've out-douched yourself.

/ Rant over

Book Learnin!

This can't be right. I mean really, I'm this close to talking about boogies.

Don't forget your shovel!

I only recently discovered this song and I love it so much. I picked up the album on itunes and it's quite good. It's on heavy rotation in my car right now.




JCB song - Nizlopi

We met with our social worker and he has this ability to unnerve me. Perhaps I'm naive but I don't usually focus on the problems of adoption. It's probably a coping mechanism I admit but I want to look at the steps we need to take to get from here to there and back again. We've weighed the risks and looked at all the options we could and made our decision.

I do feel this is right and that the universe has pointed us in our current direction.

sigh.

I'll feel better once all this paperwork is completed.

November reign

Hello all!

I'm still around just very busy. We had several halloween parties to go to and there's been a rash of baby showers and birthday parties.

Also, I've been finishing up the domestic adoption paperwork. The Vietnam dossier is much simpler than Guatemala. I hope to get that knocked out in November. I wish I were more organized but this sort of rigid paperwork sends me into hysteria and checking and rechecking in a big loop.

I must get back to work. My project calls and there are forms to fill out!

Cheers!

I had to turn word verification back on because I started getting bombed by spam. Sorry. Curse you spammers.

A Hole is to Dig

When it rains, well if it ever will rain, I'm sure it will pour. A small trickle in front of our house became a torrent of water before long. After calls to the county to come and inspect the leak and calls to various plumbers we discovered our water line needed to be replaced. < gulp and ka-ching >

On the positive side, E was thrilled with the equipment in front of our house and marvelled at the big hole in our yard. You realize how cushioned we are in our modernity when events like that take you out of your comfort zone. E was very confused when I kept all his bathwater in the tub and we stockpiled the water on the kitchen counter.

I wonder what life will be like though in another 20 years with global warming ticking away. We have another freakishly warm day here, up in the high 70s. October shouldn't be short-sleeve weather. It's unnatural.

We have been able to enjoy our porch much longer than I expected though. Eating outside is one of the finest, simplest pleasures.

Have a glass of wine, cheers!

I am, I am Superman.

Ah, fall is in the air finally. The nights are crisp and brilliant. I no longer have to wrestle with the comforter on or off and can snuggle in all cozy under the weight.

We did our costume shopping for Halloween. It’s so much fun watching him experience all these rituals through his new and happy eyes. It was difficult to get him to focus on the costumes with all the dancing skeletons and cackling witches. I think I er he made the right decision as he bounded across the house, leaping the ottoman in a single bound:




Up, Up, and Away!

It's been a busy week at work and home. I think I'm nearly finished with the US documents and hopefully soon I'll get the dossier requirements for Vietnam. Oh how I can't wait to start that.

The State Department is now telling people not to adopt from Guatemala in pretty blunt language. My heart breaks for all those children and the families of Guat who can't take care of them. I will always have a special place for them. We'll be back one day and I hope to instill pride in E for his homeland even though it's far from what I think of the place and my own country at the moment.

Moonatoni

E has been playing pretend kitchen and cooking for a while now. He'll even ask to watch cooking shows at times (maybe he'll be our little top chef?). Recently we developed a game where I'll catch the moon and give it to him. Then he'll give me the moon back. I'll grab a star and give it to him. Yesterday we were walking back from getting his hair cut and I reached up, caught the moon, and handed it to him. He looked at his hand for a second then took a big bite out of the moon. I laughed, first time I'd seen this. You ate the moon! What did it taste like? His response: "really, really, really good pasta."

hee

Stardust

This picture is too perfect.

grabbed from my new favorite site, Found Magazine

collecting moments one by one

It seems there's always been songs that have helped me through difficult times or made summers happier seasons. It's fun now to have E bringing music to me, knowing that these new associations will take me back to the little dude asking questions and giving hugs.

As soon as he heard this song E loved it. What can I say he's got great taste. I'll buckle him up and he'll ask for the "Oh oh" song. This will always be the summer of 2007...



Have a great weekend my friends!

Traditional family structure - Maryland style

On the same day that gay families across the state were denied their civil rights this story appeared:

“A Maryland mother was arraigned on drug and child abuse charges after police said she threw her 6-month-old child across a room at a police officer. According to court documents, the incident happened in late July at a home on Inverness Drive in Cecil County.

According to court documents, state troopers were called to a trailer on Inverness Drive to check on the well-being of Evelyn Doninger, 23, of North East, and her two small children.

Officers said that they smelled a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the home, so they told Doninger they would be coming in. The court documents said that Doninger told police they had no right to enter her home.

Police said that they noticed a hand -rolled cigarette and a bag with what they believed was marijuana in it, as well as various drug paraphernalia. They also said they found two men inside the home and two children -- a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. Police said they told Doninger she was being arrested. The documents said she became "incredibly irate," stood up from a chair and threw the 6-month-old at least 5 feet at one of the troopers.

The child struck the trooper's chest and he caught the baby just before it hit the floor, according to court documents. Doninger then shoved the trooper, striking both him and the baby.”


If you recall the judges declared “that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born” Let’s see Doninger did give birth to these children, check. Traditional family structure hmm let’s see there’s two men in the trailer surely one of them is the father. It’s so nice to see the procreating traditional family prospering in the state of Maryland.

“Police said that the 6-month-old baby is doing fine. Doninger has since been released from jail. She is facing eight different child abuse and drug charges.”

Well hopefully she’ll still be able to get married even if she faces jail time…

What does this Post editorial have to say: If marriage is solely a matter of giving legal sanction to procreation, then what to make of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in a Missouri case granting the right to marry to prison inmates who had zero prospect of procreating? In that 1987 case, the court said marriage was a fundamental human right--kiddies notwithstanding. The majority in the Maryland case acknowledged that the prison case blows something of a hole in their procreation argument but took refuge in a simple declaration that they just don't care: The Missouri case just "does not persuade us," the court ruled.

Oh whew, I’m relieved. The wedding planning may be a b*tch from jail but luckily she will still be able to marry the little tosser’s father if she hasn’t already found the time between rolling those joints. Hey! They’re not going to roll themselves people.

Some of my anger has dissipated after the four judges in Maryland denied our civil rights. I’ve processed it and I’m moving on. If this is the sacred institution they want for themselves let them have it. They’re doing fine on their own in screwing it up.

Let’s have our civil unions. Let’s make them the most glorious, loving institutions the state has ever seen. We need to protect our families and our loved ones from capricious small minds. I hope the Doninger children find a loving and healthy home to grow up in. If that household happens to have two dads or two moms those kids won’t care. They will be wanted and they will be loved and sometimes that’s all a child needs.

This is a very sad day for Marylanders

Maryland High Court Upholds Same-Sex Marriage Ban

BY ERIC RICH AND JOHN WAGNER

WASHINGTON POST STAFF WRITERS

Maryland's highest court upheld the state's ban on gay marriage in a ruling issued this morning, reversing a lower court decision and turning back the most formidable legal challenge to date of the controversial law.

The Court of Appeals held that the ban does not, as the American Civil Liberties Union had argued, violate the state constitution. The ruling cannot be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, the plaintiffs said when the case was argued in December.

The court took the case after the state appealed a ruling by Baltimore Circuit Court Judge M. Brooke Murdock, who held in January that the 1973 law banning same-sex marriage is discriminatory and "cannot withstand constitutional challenge." In anticipation of an appeal, Murdock stayed her decision when she announced it.

The court's ruling today reverses Murdock's decision, which thrust Maryland into a debate that has raged across the country at least since 1996, when Congress passed a law barring federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allowing states to do the same.

In an opinion signed by four judges, Judge Glenn T. Harrell Jr., citing a Supreme Court holding on judicial restraint, wrote that, absent evidence of discrimination, "judicial intervention is generally unwarranted no matter how unwisely we may think a political branch has acted."

"In declaring that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born are related reasonably to the means employed by [the law banning same-sex marriage], our opinion should by no means be read to imply that the General Assembly may not grant and recognize for homosexual persons civil unions or the reasons," wrote Harrell, who is retired from the court but participated in the decision because he was a member when the case was argued.

Harrell was joined by judges Dale R. Cathell, Clayton Greene Jr. and Alan M. Wilner. A fifth judge, Irma S. Raker, concurred in part and dissented in part. Chief Judge Robert M. Bell and Lynne A. Battaglia wrote dissenting opinions.

Gay rights advocates called the ruling a surprise and disappointment given that several states, including Massachusetts and New Jersey, have struck down marriage bans. But they said the case galvanized not only the gay community but a wider group of Maryland citizens--and pledged to push the General Assembly to take up a gay marriage bill when the legislature convenes in January.

"We will be pushing for full, legal equality in the Maryland General Assembly," said Dan Furmansky,executive director of Equality Maryland. "This is a social justice struggle. Eventually, Maryland will have civil marriage equality for same-sex couples. It's inevitable."

Leading lawmakers said the gay rights advocates will likely face an uphill battle in Annapolis, particularly in the Senate, where a bill would be subject to a filibuster.

"It would be a tall order for the legislature to overturn existing law ... but it's not out of the realm of possibility," said Sen. Brian E. Frosh (D-Montgomery), chairman of the Judicial Proceedings Committee.

In past years, both efforts to legalize gay marriage and efforts to write a ban into the Constitution have not gained much traction.

Friiiiiday

Hello weekend. It's a marvelous looking forecast. I can't wait to get outside and soak up these perfect temperatures.

Work is keeping me busy but I've managed to complete my physical and get our house inspected so we've been checked inside and out. Another wave of documents will be coming soon. I had the wind taken out of me a bit when we had to switch agencies but I think I'll get momentum going again very soon.

Adorable E update. When he doesn't know the name of something he'll say "That leetle thing." I don't know where the little came from but it makes me smile when I hear it. Sometimes I make him say it twice just so I can hear it. No matter the size it's always "that leetle thing."

Enjoy yourselves my friends, I wish you well.

Under the long night moon

The adoption equation is a funny thing. The marketplace values ethnicities and gender with wait times and fees. Girls it seems are a hot commodity. We had toyed with the idea of trying for a girl and my mother is desperate for a granddaughter. Now, that seems as likely as getting a unicorn. So that decision is made. It’s a little heartbreaking to think that someone might "settle" for a son instead of a daughter. I had thought it might be interesting to bring that female energy into the house, but it's not meant to be.

So, we’re looking at a house full of dudes - two crazy, energetic puppies rumbling through the house. I love the spirit and life that kids bring to a home. When I saw our house I knew this was a place for a family. The yard was made for soccer balls, the tree in the back for climbing.

Somewhere out there is my son. He’s waiting to be born. He’s a small little delicate thing. I imagine his mother stopping to rest, knowing that something is different. Does she know he’s there? I send my love far away across the world and pray for him and his family that was and his family to be.


We're waiting for you....

All the boys say...

I don’t remember playing No Doubt’s Hey Baby to E but somehow it’s become stuck in his wonderful jangly head. At odd moments he’ll start singing “Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey! Girls say, Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey!” It’s hysterical. Fortunately he stops at the chorus.

I still can’t remember saying it. Perhaps I sing it without knowledge and like my oy’s and dude’s he’s picked it up there.

Could be worse, I have been known to sing a Missy Elliot now and then.

Miles to go

Well we have the extra seat in this family car and now we just have to figure out which road to take and we'll find our little one waiting out there somewhere. Like E says all the time now, "What happened?" he or she will say. The stars seem to be pointing us to Vietnam.

I’d gathered information on V in the past so I have some familiarity with the country and process but the reality of it and logistics are another matter. I’m continuing getting my homestudy ready. The urgency is gone now as I look around at what the new requirements are and wrap my head around this sudden jolt.

The new job is going well. I’m trying to stay focused while here and not let all the little stressors seep in.

We said goodbye to E’s old school. It was a touching and surreal experience, kind of E’s first graduation. He was oblivious to the whole situation and couldn’t understand why I was having him hug all his teachers. I’d hand him over and he’d immediately want to come back to me.

I get a bit paranoid during the referral and placement process so who knows… this blog may disappear at some point. I wish I could make it password protected for a bit.

Details to follow. It feels like someone has thrown our map out the window but we’ll the car back on the right road. E says he needs to go potty so time to pull over. We’ll catch up with you all later.

A door closes

I should be packing right now. I should be taking the pictures off the wall and stowing them. I should be purging paper and folders but I can't focus on even such a simple task.

You want to believe that there's a plan and that the universe is guiding you along to some goal. When I look in E's eyes I believe we were destined. Then and now I got the paperwork ready. Clearances and evaluations fly across towns and get stamps of gold seal and ribbons of officialdom. Each delay meant the celestial clock ticked closer to the appointed hour. Now, I fly through the papers, no hitches. Everything runs smooth and efficiently. We approach that magical referral moment and tragedy strikes.

The agency is raided. Fourty-six children are confiscated like illegal drugs. Fourty-six children linked forever to families across the globe. That could have been me. That could have been my child. My heart aches and I feel lucky and guilty. The bureaucracy frightens me as it never had before. Politicians are cracking down they say. What is the truth? The description of the orphanage sounds nothing like the happy, clean place that I visited. None of it makes sense to me.

I pray for the children and the day the families will be reuinted. Guatemala is a beautiful and dangerous place.

It will be a long time before I go back and I wonder if I'll ever tell E about any of this. I suspect I won't tell him much at all.

Time to pack.

May you live in interesting times

It’s been an unusually turbulent time. You have to accept and embrace a certain amount of risk or things simply stagnate. So in our house we see a number of changes. E is starting his new school in 2 weeks and the preparation and planning is reaching a crescendo. There’ve been visits and playdates and meetings, all necessary but adding to the chaos. He really likes the school and I’m happy to meet the children he’ll be spending his days with and the families we’ll be getting to know.

Meanwhile, I decided to take a temp position in my agency. Hopefully this will work out to be a positive change. My current office has been doing the paper cut torture test where little annoyances upon little annoyances grow and grow. It’s left me drained and grouchy. I think this will be a good move for me with lots of potential.

Meanwhile, meanwhile…. We decided to pursue another adoption. There was much debate and angst but we decided that time was running out and we hoped Indiana Jones style to slip under the stone wall before Guatemala closes. Things were proceeding well, as we applyied our knowledge from last go around and then BLAM! our agency was raided over the weekend. There were charges (unfounded in my opionion) that illegal adoption were taking place. My confidence was shattered and the reality of the current politics hit me hard. I’m left shaken and worried about how to proceed. There should be a way around this but I’m not seeing it at the moment.

Bedknobs and Boo-hoo

So we finished painting E’s room. It’s a lovely shade of light blue on 3 walls and deep dark blue on the other. (It’s funny that we’d resisted the stereotypical blue for so long and now we’re embracing it.)

More important than the color though was the brand new twin bed! We built up the Big Boy Bed! We had a parade to the Big Boy Bed! There was much rejoicing over the Big Boy Bed!… and then bedtime and chaos. He hated the bed. He wanted to get up. He wanted anything except being in that bed.

I felt so guilty, like I was trying to push him to grow up when really this is a very fun age. When he’s this small everything looks adorable and to hear these big words tumbling out of mouth is just amazing.

….


A couple nights have passed and from the initial hour and a half to get to bed we’re now back to the 30-minute wind down.

Last night, he told me “Daddy, get in big boy bed.”
I told him “Ok, but just for a few minutes.”

We lay there quiet for a few minutes, E with his eyes closed. He lifted his head, looked at me, grinned real big and then put his head back on the pillow. That earned him another ten minutes with me next to him. After the ten minutes, I rubbed his back and said goodnight. He didn’t stir as I snuck out of the room.

An apple away

I’ve been trying to eat healthier and so I’ve been bringing in an apple for my afternoon snack. I carefully pick them out at the grocery store getting only the finest in appledom. I’d set it there on my filing cabinet as I happily and cheerfully worked away knowing that my apple was waiting for me.

Well, I’ve noticed a penchant by those co-worker people to pick up my apple and examine it as if it’s being judged at some county fair in the Best Office Apple category. Ew. I don’t walk over to your desk and pick up your sandwich and remark on the texture of the bread. I liked having my apple out. I think it’s a rather sunshiney fruit right up there with bananas and blueberries.

So, now I’ve had to hide my apple away in a dark, dark drawer. If anyone asks I'll deny having any fruit. It's a personal matter, yeah.

Gotta Be Starting Something

Thursday, July 19, 2007; 1:20 PM (AP)


WASHINGTON -- Michael Jackson toured the Smithsonian's National Air and Space and American Indian museums, arriving with his children before the buildings opened to the public.

"He wanted to show them the sights," Raymone Bain, a publicist for the 48-year-old pop star, told The Washington Post.


At the air and space museum, Jackson lingered over the 1903 Wright Flyer, the first heavier-than-air powered aircraft to make a sustained flight with a pilot aboard, during his visit Wednesday. His children enjoyed robots R2-D2 and C-3PO from the "Star Wars" movies.

Jackson will be in the Washington region for a few days. Bain said the singer has been looking for a vacation home.


...



I'm choosing to see this as a positive sign for the upcoming election... a little dove returning with an olive leaf and a burka telling us that DC has been cleaned of the republican mess.

Red, Red Whine

What is it about the beach that renews us and recharges us? Does the sound of the ocean awaken some primordial, instinctive pleasure? We’d start the day with a leisurely breakfast and then head to the beach for a few hours until lunch beckoned. After a nice long nap we’d wake and stumble into town for a little browsing, dinner and then home to crash. It was a week of warm sun, frozen drinks, sand castles, and toy boats. It was heaven.

I love the rich dessert of Rehoboth with the giddy kids, the grandparents and the gays as the icing on top. That’s a terrible mess of a metaphor. Eh. Whatever. I’ll let it sit there.

We came home to catch up on all our bad tv. We are addicted to So You Think You Can Dance and Top Chef. I hope I’m not losing some valuable thinking um part of the brain as I spend more time in children’s literature and constant vigilance.

The vacation was a nice recharge and I need to figure out some way to hold onto that relaxed state even as E drives me insane. I was worried how it all might go a week together with no breaks but it was great, no problems. Relaxed and on the beach even L was talking about E2.

It’s amazing what a margarita and a little sun can do.

Rehobound

It's been a crazy week here but we're finally reaching the conclusion. Tonight there will be mad packing and then Saturday we leave for lovely Rehoboth.





I can't wait. We've rented a cute little beach house and some family is stopping by for part of the week. There's sand to dig, castles to build.

...and we'll be celebrating my birthday. I feel the wisdom rushing towards me as I gain another year. I feel a little creakier in the joints, a little more patient in my understanding, and a lot more loved where it counts.

See you all in a week and some change!

rock-a-bye

E's talking more and more. New phrases are popping up all the time. I was trying to get him to come downstairs and he looks at me and says "I'll be back." and he dashes off to his room.

We don't get a lot of cuddly E because he's such an active kid so when he is still and silent I just drink it up. The evening routine is golden. We read lots of stories at bedtime. He'd keep going and going if we'd let him with story after story. I think it's partly interest and partly stalling. After the stories we sing a few songs and then I put him down. Last night, he was fading out, yawning widely as I put him in his crib. I lean over softly saying "I love you." He turns over, look up at me, eyelids heavy and tells me, "I tooted."

aaaaw

You may have missed...

Nice story about gay parents from CNN:

Jackson is one of 65,000 adopted children being raised by same-sex parents in the United States, according to a March 2007 report compiled by the Urban Institute and the Williams Institute at University of California at Los Angeles School of Law.

The same report estimates more than 14,100 foster children were living with one or more gay or lesbian foster parent.

Roach and his longtime partner, Ken Manford, adopted Jackson from Guatemala in 2001 and say he is not overly bothered by the non-traditional character of their family.

"We worry about it more than he does," Roach said, although the two fathers acknowledged that Jackson had been asking about "mom" lately.

"We're pretty upfront about it," Manford said. "You just ...say, 'If you had a mommy, then you wouldn't have two daddies. Is that what you want?' And he says, 'No I want two daddies and a mommy.'"

"Well, there's not a mommy, you've got grandma, and granny and Aunt Jennifer. And he'll say, 'OK.'"

Though denied the right to marry in every state except Massachusetts, more and more same-sex couples are turning to adoption and foster care to form families, according to child adoption groups who study the issue.





Gay parents

gay-eR

Mingle² - Online Dating

R because of the word "gay" how ridiculous. I was worried I might get a G.

Oh the places you'll grow

I have to say the impatience/guilt combo is a unique emotional duo I haven’t experienced before parenting. E has perfected this unique mental torture game of saying “I’ll do it.” And then staring at you and then when you move to do it, he throws the fit down.

What is this about? Why don’t you do it? What is this test? The crying when you are told no makes sense but this staring at me after you say “I’ll do it.” …. What do you you gain? Arrrrgh.

He’s also learning to leap off the ottoman with wild abandon. It’s one of those parenting dilemmas. He’s an active kid so I’m all for any sort of physical activity that will tire him out without risking permanent bodily injury, but how much freedom do you free?

…


I had to tell our current daycare or school as we like to call it around the house that we’d be switching centers in August. I already feel bad about E losing his friends but I didn’t expect the reactions from the staff. I mean it’s wonderful that they care about him but I have to look at the long-term situation. E will be going to school with kids he’ll enter elementary school with and they’re all local families plus the new school is less than a mile from the house which means a quick commute for him.

Wouldn’t you know it that last week E had to go and tell one of his teachers that he loved them too. Oh little man you’re killing me. Save that adorableness for your new teachers! The teacher told me that after he told her “ I love you M.” she started to cry and he said “Don’t cry, M.” This may sound strange but I’m slowly becoming aware of E as his own person. I’d only been focused on what he was learning in school. Before last week, I hadn’t really thought about how he might be affecting other people too.

They say they want to have a going away party for E. Part of me hopes E won’t really understand what’s going on…. For my sake.

Happy Father's Day

Since I won't be online tomorrow, to all you Dads of all shapes, sizes, and colors. You're awesome! Give the little ones and big ones a hug for me.

Cheers, Brian

Milonga

I love this video. It's an amateur video of a milonga at the Freedom Plaza in downtown DC. I'd never heard of this popular summertime milonga, the Milonga a la Libertad, but apparently it happens most Sundays from 7 to 10 p.m. from May until Sept. It's free to join in -- participants are merely asked to bring a snack or beverage to share.




It's kind of subversive and beautiful. As the camera pans all the way to the left you can sort of make out the Capitol building. How cool would it be to walk down a busy downtown street and see a tango or waltz break out in front of you?

/ hat tip dcist

You may have missed...

Great article from the Baltimore Sun

...

Maryland's appeal is bolstered by the reputation of the Baltimore City Circuit Court, which was the first in the state to grant a second-parent adoption to a gay partner. It is well-known in certain circles as a friendly and efficient place for gay couples to complete adoptions and has, as a result, become a popular jurisdiction for such proceedings. Gay families also say they are drawn to Maryland because of the climate of acceptance they've found in the state.

...

Almost 4,400 children were adopted in Maryland in 2001, the most recent year that complete figures were available, according to the U.S. Children's Bureau. There are no figures for how many of them were adopted by gay parents. But a recent study found that Maryland is a leader in the total number of adopted children living in gay or lesbian households, ranking eighth among the states.

Using the 2000 Census, researchers from the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, a UCLA think tank, and the Urban Institute, a nonpartisan research organization, determined that 2,142 of the 32,269 adopted children in Maryland were living with gay couples.



http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.adopt10jun10,0,4812939.story?page=1&track=mostemailedlink

Daddy-o, Daddy-no

A friend recently asked me what it’s like having a 2-year-old in the house. I told him well I get this a lot, I mean seriously a loooot: “No, Daddy, No!” I’m wondering if he thinks my full name is Daddy No (not to be confused with Dr. No of course).

Then again we’re also getting little snippets into his day. On the way home in the car I was told with much force that “I don’t like beans.” Given the sentiment attached I pictured a massive pinto bean chasing E throughout the center. “EEEEK! I don’t like beans!” Actually it still comes out with his pseudo-Italian accent as “I don’t like-a beans.”

Pride festivities are this weekend and we are celebrating with full rainbow colors by having brunch. It will be great catching up with some friends and we may just hit the fair as well. I like-a brunch.

With a name like Maryland, we expect more.

The turtle blog salutes Equality Maryland for doing the lord’s work. Marylanders can easily get involved in protecting our civil rights using their website as a starting point.

Some of the more than one thousand rights, benefits and responsibilities that accompany a civil marriage license include:
· The right to visit a spouse in the hospital
· The right to make medical decisions for a sick spouse
· The right to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse
· Access to family courts for dissolution of relationships
· Death benefits for surviving spouses of firefighters and police officers
· Mutual responsibility for debts
· Joint assessment of income for determining eligibility for state government assistance programs
· Ability to sponsor a spouse from another country for a green card
· Community property ownership protections
· Child custody, visitation, and duties of financial support to children
· Eligibility for health benefits (without taxation) and COBRA benefits through an employer
· Ability to take leave to care for a sick spouse under the Family and Medical Leave Act
· Right to inherit a spouse's pension
· Entitlement to inherit social security and disability benefits upon the death of a spouse
· Ability to inherit jointly owned property without incurring tax penalties
· Right to file joint income taxes
· Ability to put a spouse on the deed to a home without incurring tax penalties
· Access to "family memberships"
· Domestic violence protections
· Immunity from testifying against a spouse
· Right to sue for wrongful death of a spouse

The Maryland Court of Appeals could issue a verdict any day now. Keep your fingers crossed everybody!


Sign the petition! Get involved!

A little over nine years, on the sidewalk in front of Lauriol Plaza, (now Rosemary’s Thyme) a mutual friend introduced me to this smart, handsome man. He was coming from his office so was carrying all these blueprints that looked like they would overwhelm him. There was an air of rumpled, confident sexiness about him. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time that was slowly grinding its way into a messy break-up. Later we’d go on our first date, adopt a dog, talk about starting a family….


I’ve never been happier in my life and I know that’s because of L. To belong is a wonderful thing and I know we belong together. If I could put into words how wonderful you are this blog would never end. Happy anniversary L!

What, me worry?

I am the designated worrier in our family. Systems evolve and partners take up different roles as they discover what they’re best at. It seems that I have a remarkable ability to see the danger lurking in the most inoffensive scenarios. I blame my mother of course.

I don’t always seek out this information on hidden dangers, one reporter with a black light in a motel room can cause long-lasting permanent damage. I have a modicum of control. I don’t run up to people eating a hot dog to tell them how much foreign matter is allowed by law. With close friends I warn them that they can stop me at any time but I have to let them know about the dangers of eating that unwrapped communal candy sitting so close to the restrooms if you get my drift.


The latest anxiety to manifest itself is sodium benzoate:

A University of Sheffield researcher says a preservative commonly used in soft drinks and other food items may cause genetic damage -- contributing to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases like Parkinson's.

Professor Peter Piper has spent eight years studying the effects of sodium benzoate, known as E211 in the food industry. Sodium benzoate is widely used to inhibit mold growth in a variety of consumer foods. But Piper claims the additive produces cellular damage that closely mimics the effects of chronic alcoholism, causing premature aging and a variety of serious health concerns. He says his research indicates that sodium benzoate attacks a crucial portion of human DNA known as the mitochondria.

"These chemicals have the ability to cause severe damage to DNA in the mitochondria to the point that they totally inactivate it: they knock it out altogether," Piper told the UK newspaper The Independent on Sunday..

Members of Parliament immediately called upon the Food Standards Agency -- the UK equivalent of the United Stated Food and Drug Administration -- to investigate Piper's claims.

Sodium benzoate is widely used in soft drinks, jams, pickles, mouthwash, and animal foods. It occurs naturally in cranberries and a number of common fruits. Sodium benzoate is also used as an additive in some fireworks.

…

So, each time I drink a diet soda I’ll be thinking of cellular damage or eating bottle rockets. No thanks.

Meanwhile,

now our son is becoming more and more the daredevil. I know injuries will happen sooner or later. I broke several bones through my childhood and with E’s dexterity and fearlessness it’s almost inevitable. He jumps off everything. If he can climb it he thinks he can jump off it.

He’s also picking up on my love of ninjas. I’m very proud that if you ask him what a ninja says he’ll respond “Hee-yah” complete with karate chop. L went even further and taught him to say “Ninja Warrior” with a kick. There’s going to be a call from daycare any day now, “yes I’m afraid E put a chokehold on another child and rendered him unconscious. Can you pick him up now?”

Bowling for Cheerios

Looking for outdoor games for the little boo I came across a lawn bowling set. I’m learning there are rules and there is play and the intersection of the 2 is a rare thing.

A 2-year-old’s guide to bowling:

The pins should be grouped closely together.

The pins aren’t pins. They’re maracas.

The player should tell the coach “No, Daddy, No!” several times throughout the game.

The proper distance from the maracas is 4 feet, no 2 feet, no standing on top of them.

The ball should be rolled along the grass. The ball should be thrown at the pins. The ball should be held in the hand. The player runs over to the pins and whacks them with the ball.

A typical game should last 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 30 seconds maaaybe.

The ball can be used to squash bugs.

The maracas don’t work very well.

The maracas can be used to torment the dog.

The player shall break for a booty dance at random intervals.

Cheneys of Love

Just checking in for this quick birth announcement:


Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, gave birth to an 8-pound, 6-ounce baby boy at 9:46 a.m. Wednesday morning at Sibley Hospital in Washington.

Cheney and her partner of 16 years, Heather Poe, named their son Samuel David Cheney. The White House released a picture of Lynne and Vice President Cheney with the boy, their sixth grandchild.
Cheney and Poe live in Virginia, which has a constitutional amendment banning the marriage of same-sex couples and does not allow gay second parent adoptions.

Those prohibitions leave the new parents without the safety net that heterosexual couples enjoy, according to Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of Family Pride, a LGBT family advocacy group in Washington, D.C. "There's a question of whether they could even replicate through legal contract the rights and protections that they might have if they could get legally married," Chrisler said.

Chrisler has not had direct contact with either Cheney or Poe, though Family Pride has sent them informational literature in the past. To celebrate the birth, the organization will be hosting a virtual baby shower at its Web site, www.familypride.org/baby/, where people can write in with their thoughts and advice for the couple.

…


I’m afraid at Rainbow Families DC we’ve yet to hear from Mary or Heather. I truly hope for the best for Samuel. The little guy is going to face some unique challenges growing up. I hope they do recognize how important it is for a kid to be around similar family structures. Wealth can only insulate you so much.

Birds of a feather...

From yahoo news:


LONDON (AFP) - A pair of gay flamingos have adopted an abandoned chick, becoming parents after being together for six years, a British conservation organisation said Monday.



Carlos and Fernando had been desperate to start a family, even chasing other flamingos from their nests to take over their eggs at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust (WWT) in Slimbridge near Bristol.

But their egg-sitting prowess made them the top choice for taking an unhatched egg under their wings when one of the Greater Flamingo nests was abandoned.

The couple, together for six years, can feed chicks by producing milk in their throats.

"Fernando and Carlos are a same sex couple who have been known to steal other flamingos' eggs by chasing them off their nest because they wanted to rear them themselves," said WWT spokeswoman Jane Waghorn.

"They were rather good at sitting on eggs and hatching them so last week, when a nest was abandoned, it seemed like a good idea to make them surrogate parents."

Gay flamingos are not uncommon, she added.

"If there aren't enough females or they don't hit it off with them, they will pair off with other males," she said.

Loooove - exciting and new! Come aboard, we're expecting yooooou!

Kelly Beard Crosby Heyniger, 36, confirmed her relationship with Gov. Charlie Crist, 50, in an interview on WPBF-Ch. 25, the ABC affiliate in Palm Beach County where she lives.

...

Heyniger told WPBF, during the interview in her home, that they've been dating since February and see each other about every two weeks.

"We're just hanging out, enjoying each others' company," Heyniger smiles.

whoa! sounds serious you little lovebirds.
...



She told the Palm Beach Post in 2004 that in Fear Factor's psychological evaluation, she tested "78 percent masculine."

ah now it makes sense.

She says she's still a blue jeans gal, but now she's more likely to don a dress for her dates with Charlie.

She lets him wear the jeans instead.

"Charlie loves jeans," she told WPBF. "He is a great guy, a lot of fun. He's real."

Do you hear me? It's real I tell ya. He digs chicks!

I'm pretty and I have lots of money!

I wanted to share with you the Family Pride's winner of their Family Drawing Contest:

Contest Winner Picture

I love that. I can't wait til E's old enough to draw pictures like that.

I've had a busy work week so haven't had a lot of free time. Not sure how long this unfortunate streak will last.

We've had our potty lucky strike! Much fanfare was made. It was completely random but hey you've got to start somewhere.

In other news, Mary Cheney should be giving birth soon according to the December annoucement she's due in the next couple weeks. I wonder if we'll hear about it and if her Person of Same Sex Sharing Household Heather Poe will be allowed near the child.

Aaaah, I love to see republicans squirming.

Have a great weekend all.

Oy, with the poodles already

When we first moved to Takoma Park I described it to friends as Stars Hollow but with more lesbians. It’s the kind of place where Lorelei and Rory could have easily settled into with its liberal culture and intellectual vibe. We even have our own offbeat virtual townhall meeting with a randomness and intensity worthy of Taylor.

Gilmore Girls debuted not long after L and I started dating. We’ve been watching through all these years. It became part of the fabric of our lives. If anyone moaned the state of television, this was a go-to example of how poignant, relevant, and complex broadcast television could be.

It’s nice to think that the Friday night dinners at the Gilmore house will continue. Much like Rory left home to cover the Barack Obama campaign, Gilmore Girls has left us too soon.



I raise my cup of coffee to you.



My own love of the word oy has already been documented and I came across this snippet from GG. I think it sums things up nicely.


Lorelai: Heh, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
Rory: Hehe.
Lorelai: So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase:
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place.

Él no puede caminar sino que él puede bailar

At first I was leery of the musical instruments E’s aunt gave him for his birthday. Now, I’m a convert.



Happiness is… teaching your son to sing La Cucaracha as he wiggles his booty and shakes his maracas.

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

It’s been a quick week. Suddenly it’s Friday. We’re making plans to take L’s mother out for Mother’s Day. It should be lots of fun.

I’m trying to get into a routine with the little boo of hitting the playgrounds after work. There has been a shocking development of late. He can now climb up the ladders to the monkey bars. This means one that Daddy’s has heart palpitations as he gleefully climbs to spots even with my head and two the days of the crib may be soon over. It was comforting to know that there was at least one place in the house I could put him and still be sure he’d be there in the morning.

Minutia:


I slipped on my damn damn ban and said dammit in front of E. Thankfully it went unnoticed.

E’s birthday continues as we learn that lighting any candle is cause to sing Happy Birthday to E.

The Embassies of the European Union are having an open house tomorrow. If you’re in the DC area you should check it out! We’re going to try to hit a few.

Never show your 2-year-old how a toy is put together. You may as well write destroy me on it.

I was surprised in the car last week when E started singing his very first song on his own. He can now do a pretty damn good rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. It’s the cutest thing you’ll ever hear.

This weekend will mark E's introduction to the potty. There's been keen interest so will see how the first pee and greet goes.

Have a great weekend my friends,

B

I do not like them in my house. I do not like them with my spouse.

So E’s party was fabulous. It turned into an all day event with family stopping by throughout the day. E was very excited about all the people and the huge amount of toys. He couldn’t even open all of them, partly because of the quantity and because he’d open one and then run around the house yelling and chasing after his cousins.

I was afraid that he would lock up during the happy birthday song but he took it all in stride and even clapped at the finale.

One of our friends gave E a collection of Dr. Seuss stories. I had good memories of them but reading them as an adult they are surprisingly annoying with the repetition and the rhyming. Maybe as a young reader, E will find them amusing but I sense that I’ll need to quietly archive those books for a while. Why does the poor guy have to try green eggs and ham? Leave him alone!

Meanwhile, he’s definitely learning how to use his No’s. He said it now and then in the past but now he wallowing in the power. No to pajamas! No to dinner! No to books! Mwahahaha! He is the King of Noville and he shall not be denied. Arguing with a 2-year-old devolves quickly into No! Yes! No! Yes! / run and / chase.

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Happy Birthday little boo!

You’re growing so fast and learning so much. I’m so proud of you and awed by what I’m learning about myself.

Let’s see what new adventures await us this year.

Love, Dad

Someday we'll find it

I’ve been a bad blogger. Work has been crazy with training and projects and home has been busy with family visiting and then getting ready for E’s parties this weekend.

He’s turning 2! Tomorrow! How crazy and amazing is that?

The Rainbow Families Conference went well. We were getting some pressure from folks about adopting again. It’s interesting that doctors, social workers and such are pushing us. This is a good thing, I think. I had to warn my friend at the agency not to send any pictures of waiting kids. I know I’d crumble.

Guatemala is a question mark still. I sense they are trying to comply with the Hague Convention but the deadline is looming. In 2006 there were 5,024 adoption cases in Guatemala and of that number 4,757 went to the US. That’s a staggering number. I hope they get their procedures worked out and that placements can continue.

E is incredible. He’s becoming this person with wants and needs and a sense of humor. He makes jokes now, trying to get us to laugh at silly things or laughing along. At the conference I tried to explain to a parent-to-be how becoming a Dad is like watching your life explode and then the pieces come back together in this wonderful new way and the puzzle is even bigger than you imagined.

Wrapping presents tonight, getting ready for the big day!

work, work, plane

I'm still slaving away on my work project. It is an unfortunate, yet lucrative endeavor.

Here's a picture of an airplane because I took lots of pictures of planes and well it would just sit on my hard drive otherwise.





Wood panelling!

Poink!

My family is visiting this week so I'm busy running around being the happy hostess.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.


p.s. poink is the sound an invisible internet friend makes when they disappear.

Que Sera, Sera

Steve over at The Hygiene Chronicles tagged me so here I'm detagging:

What was your biggest surprise when you became a parent: I think it’s how much I love the little guy. I remember talking to one parent and he said he loves his partner but he loooooves his son. I didn’t really get that until E came along. If I’m driving around in my car and he’s not in the backseat I have the feeling like I’m missing something. It’s that did I turn the stove off sort of thing. I have to will myself not to think about him sometimes.

Name some things you vowed you'd never do, but find yourself doing now: letting E watch TV. I thought we’d be TV free but I found there are days that I have to hear the news or need to put on Jack’s Big Music Show so I can sit and read the newspaper. It’s getting easier now that E can respond but for a while it felt like I was just talking at E and that’s hard to sustain.

What's the one thing you thought you would do, but actually don't: Go out more often. We’ve had trouble finding a babysitter we can rely on so L and I haven’t had many dates. I feel like a bad partner now and then. Fortunately I’m married to a wonderful man and I know we are doing the best we can.

Jet Boy

A few weeks ago we visited the Udvar-Hazy Center of the National Air and Space Museum. It’s a huge hangar full of airplanes and space exploration vehicles. For Friday I’ll share a few pics from our visit.






Planes! Planes! Everywhere!



There amongst all the planes sits the Enola Gay. It was moved out here partly I think to avoid the controversy from its downtown exhibition. It’s hard to capture the complexity of this symbol on a plaque.





He prefers to walk now which makes outings very interesting these days.




Coolest part of the exhibit I think.



Death Star Model from Star Wars for the geek in us all.



I just liked the colors on this plane. Pretty.



Death ray! Or something. Again, I thought it was pretty.



Best plane name in the museum! Can you read it?

One enchanted evening

I just avoided the news last night. The Virginia Tech shooting is such a horrible, horrible tragedy. It makes no sense. My prayers are with the families and loved ones involved in this massacre.

The strange and wonderful thing was that last night E was in the best mood all evening long that I think I’ve ever seen. He was laughing and playing and giggling all evening until bedtime. He’s becoming more and more verbal and maybe that’s helping him to express himself. Whatever it was I hope it continues.

He likes to do this fake sneeze where he ah-choos and a hat falls off his head. So last night he put the washcloth on his head and “sneezed.” Well he misjudged the distance and he completely dunked his face into the water. I braced for bawling and tensed up as he lifted his head. Water was dripping off his face, his eyes were closed and mouth open…. And then he started laughing uncontrollably. Everything was funny last night. We all laughed and played all evening long.

It was a perfect evening. I’ll save this one for a long time.

Between a rock and a hard place

Picking E up at school he wants to run down the hallway to get a drink of water. The fountain is fascinating as he noisily slurps away. The fan whirs to life in the back. “Fan! Fan!” He looks to me for confirmation. Yes, yes my boy now let’s get going. The traffic is getting worse out there.

In the driveway the rocks are fascinating. I try to put his coat on and he squirms and wiggles to reach the stones at his feet. C’mon E. I’m cold. Let’s get inside.

Just before bedtime, he lines up all his toys on the edge of the bathtub knocking them into the water. “Cup! Cup!” he asks as I try to wash his hair. Just one pour and then we have to get ready for bed.



The alarm clock rings and I rush into work, turn my computer on, and look around. There’s row upon row of grey cubicle walls. What I wouldn’t give for a little hand to tug me down to pick up some rocks.

The language of life

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was worried about hubs more than me. I warned him you have to watch it around L, he’s like a little sponge these days.

I was in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready, E was playing on the floor, and Nemo was one more obstacle maneuvering his way into my path like a large brown wall. Turning around again to find Nemo in my way, it came out like a little pressure release valve. I then hear this little voice behind me. “Dammit!” Don’t react. Keep moving. Sing a little song. Whew. It could have been much worse that’s for sure.

I thought his first naughty word happened back in March. For a while we thought he was saying Dummy. There was such purpose to the word we knew it was something. Both of us were tensing up thinking where did this come from? It was a week later before we realized it was a kid’s name in his class.

We’re working on more positive phrases too. He’s becoming a very expressive child, which is wonderful when it’s used for the power of good. Of course he has to keep us guessing too.

“Do you love Daddy?”

“I love Daddy.”

“Do you love Papa?”

“ I love Papa.” Aaaaw. How about Nemo?

“Do you love Nemo?“

“I love Nemo.”

Two beats later, unprompted we hear.

“I love TV.”

Yes, you are indeed my son.

Well, that's a nightmare

Quick update:

You can never plan for illness or car repair. Sunday morning it hit me with vengeance. My stomach started cramping up and I lost it all. At first I thought it was food poisoning but then when L picked it up I knew it was more. This was the first time I’ve ever had the stomach flu. It’s a nasty little monster. After 3 days I was able to eat some toast and a bit of rice yesterday.

My big fear is that I’ll pass it on to E. I’m trying to keep my hands washed and watch his food preparation. So far, he’s faring ok. I hate being sick. It certainly gives you new appreciation for your bodily functions. Oh, so that’s what my intestines have been doing all these years.

Happy health you all

Frikkin Laser Beams!

Some news items are just little gifts to make you smile:


Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Friendly Neighborhood Merchandise

I’ve never been one for branding or logos. I always thought it was odd when people paid more to have a big advertisement on their sleeve or festooned across their back. That whole conspicuous consumption really gives me the heebie jeebies.

I’ve been trying to take this same aesthetic into the toys and clothing that I buy for E. It’s really kind of ridiculous to buy expensive clothing for children anyway because you are looking at one or maybe two seasons of wear anyway. It’s getting more and more difficult to keep this up though especially with toys. Wow, everything seems to be a tie-in to a movie or a tv show. Disney is the master. The stores are flooded with all things Disney. Right now in the toddler set, a fleet of Cars-related stuff is racing through. The shirts, pants, toys and all things Cars are there for your selection.

I’ve never seen Cars and I’m sure it’s a fine movie but the sheer volume of the Cars stuff is overwhelming. There’s really no educational or skills building in anything I’ve seen. Sure there is value in imaginative play but any household item can be great fun for a kid.

So, I’ve given up. I’ve decided to steer E towards the commercial products that assuage my guilt at least a little. The Sesame Street products are all wonderful and all kids seem to gravitate towards Elmo. I’ve always liked Spiderman and with that movie success there’s lots of Spiderman goods at younger and younger ages. I’m still looking for the blocks, the puzzles, and the games because I know soon enough E will be making the decisions anyway.

Standing beneath an amber moon

There are very dire warnings coming from various international bodies concerning adopting from Guatemala. It’s disappointing to see the turmoil that is coming for Guatemala and its children.

Meanwhile, I’ve heard some interesting possibilities about adopting from Brazil. I’m putting a call out to people if you know anyone who’s adopted from Brazil or if you are similarly interested and I can be of any help please contact me. It seems hopeful.

COLAGE and EQMD event

I know some of these events won't be of interest to all outside this area but I'd like to promote gay family related events when I can. Cheers, my friends.

Howard County PFLAG Panel Discussion on LGBT Parented Families
Co-Sponsored by COLAGE and EQMD
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007, 7:30 PM
Owen Brown Interfaith Center
7246 Cradlerock Way
Columbia, Md. 21045

Have you wondered what its like to have an LGBT parent? What are the real experiences of LGBT families- both the parents and the children in them? What have they encountered in the schools? While shopping? What has been reaction of family members? Neighbors? Co-workers? Has it strengthened or diminished the relationship? What are the many ways that LGBT families are created?
These questions and many others will be discussed. Youth and adults with LGBT Parents are warmly welcome to attend!

This Panel will also include a screening of the COLAGE Youth Produced Film- In My Shoes: Stories of Youth with LGBT Parents. This 30 minute documentary was created BY youth to profile the experiences of youth with LGBT parents.

See it in the Boy's Eyes

Thanks to a long-ago mention by Gayborhood Gringo, I picked up a copy of Jamelia’s Thank You and Walk with Me albums. Why this woman isn’t a big hit over here is beyond me. She is a singles machine and perfect for summer time cruising. Check her out!

I’m packing up my desk as my office prepares to move. I’m purging vast quantities of paper. It’s liberating, I tell ya. Now, I only wish that I could do the same thing at home. Need to finish up a bit more packing and then I’m out of here. Thanks god it looks like we’ll have a gloriously warm weekend! Get outside and enjoy my friends!

Union Station

As I was passing through Union Station yesterday I bumped into an ex-boyfriend, M, on his way to lunch. I see this guy every couple years so we usually have to catch up on big life changes. Last time we spoke L and I were talking about having kids but hadn’t quite moved ahead yet. Both of us had moved out to Maryland, one of us had started a family. Upon hearing the news he was quick to tell me that he did not want kids.

I’ve found the kid gene to be one of the strongest traits. Very rarely do I hear a vague interest from someone. The funny thing is when people tell me they don’t want to have kids the response ranges between accusatory and apologetic. As much as I’d like gay people to have more kids because it would make my life easier and lord knows the world needs more tolerant people, I’m really not recruiting.

Pre-boo I used to get that question a lot, why do you want to have kids. Heck, I’ve been psychologically evaluated on the subject. The answer… I’ve always wanted kids. It was always in my life plan. I buried it for a while as went through the coming out process and readjusted my goals as I stumbled through some gawdawful relationships. How could I take care of someone else if I couldn’t even take care of myself? So I set up some broad parameters before I would consider the kid subject. Fast forward some 15 years and what do you know?

It seems so long ago when I dated M. Hell it seems like another person that dated M. Now, it’s like my life is split in two. There is the time before and there is now filled with laughs, games, hugs, and lots of love. What will happen next in our little family? I have no clue, but I can’t wait to find out.

hmmm

Have you ever noticed that when someone sends you an email with the subject line "Too Funny" it never is?

Snip!

So my econ class finished up this morning with the big final. It was pretty much a nightmare and I simply hope for a passing grade. I’m long past the need to receive an A and will be quite satisfied with a B.

I finished up my test and reviewed the answers, hoping some glaring error would rise up saying, “Fix me! Fix me!” A few seats away a girl had similarly finished and was looking over her test. I hear her rumbling through her purse for something as I kept studying my test. I then hear this snip snip noise. I look over and she’s clipping her fingernails. Eeew. Is it just me or is this incredibly tacky? I didn’t look long to see if she was catching them in her purse or letting them fall to the floor.

Oy.

Happy Family

HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam — Actress Angelina Jolie picked up a 3-year-old boy from a Vietnamese orphanage Thursday and headed to a ceremony where she was expected to adopt the child, officials said. The star, who arrived in Ho Chi Minh City on Wednesday night, carried the boy from the Tam Binh orphanage to a waiting Toyota van. They were expected at the Department of Justice in Ho Chi Minh City where an official ceremony will be carried out to complete the adoption.

...

Good for her. I know the current thinking is that foreign adoptions are the latest fad but Jolie doesn’t seem to be seeking out the attention for her little family. We see little Maddox happily tagging along to meet his brother.

There seems to be an underlying prejudice that families created through adoption are done with less thought or are somehow suspect because of the manner in which they are created. Under the celebrity births announcements in Entertainment Weekly I rarely see questions about why they are having kids.

Let’s allow the Jolie's a little space and give them the room to grow. I think this cross-cultural family is a beautiful thing and I wish them much love.

Common Grinds

From the President’s speech in Guatemala:

“We also talked about adoption. I don't know if my fellow citizens understand this, but there are a lot of U.S. families who adopt babies from Guatemala, thousands of babies. This year it is very important for the United States and Guatemala to implement the Hague Convention on adoptions to help protect children and families during the adoption process. We found common ground on that issue. And I appreciate your strong stand, Mr. President, and I assured the President we would follow through, ourselves. “

So, in summary, um, what? Lots of families adopt from Guatemala. We are implementing the Hague Convention and we agreed on lots of things. Thanks for that insight. I’m sure that all the families who are in process nervously awaiting news of their children’s arrival will take great comfort in your agreement.

We would love to go back to Guatemala but the uncertainty surrounding this treaty is too great. The nightmare situation is accepting the referral of the child and then you find out that all placements stop while they work out the terms of the implementation. No one has any idea what will happen. If Vietnam is any indication then the country could close for 2-3 years.

I understand the intent of the agreement but frankly I think it is the families who suffer while the governments work out the terms. The Guatemalan and American families deserve more than platitudes, they deserve concrete examples of the steps the US government will take to ensure that families are reunited as quickly as possible.

I've got one dollah any other bids?

My blog is worth $15,807.12.
How much is your blog worth?

Well, that would certainly defray some of those adoption costs where do I sign up?

Rainbow Families Gay Parenting Conference in MD

From the Board:

We are hard at work preparing for the Rainbow Families DC 2007 Parenting Conference – FAMILIES LIKE OURS: GROWING. STRONGER. TOGETHER – which will be held on Saturday, April 28th, at the Takoma Park Middle School. The program is looking better and better each day and the committee working on the Kids’ Camp is putting together a range of activities that I’m sure will delight our children. Mark your calendars – registration materials will be available in the next few weeks!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Is there a more ignoble form of communication than the email rejection notice? I’ve become immune to the sting and can now marvel at the sheer audacity of it. Electronic communication can be wondrous as in letting me meet all you fabulous people and it can be as harsh as hitting the enter button to let someone know they didn’t get a job.

I look for the teachable moments from these types of events and I’ve learned a helluva lot. The amount of time that the applicant has invested in the position should be returned in kind. If I’ve taken an hour and a half out of my schedule the least you can do is call and leave a voice mail telling me I didn’t get the job. I don’t even mind if you call after hours, knowing I wouldn’t be at my desk, to give me the news.

Bottom line I think comes down to respect. I go forward thinking about how I’d like to be treated when the positions are reversed. As a manager I’ll value the time of my co-worker. It comes back to how can I make my workplace a better place as an employee and as a person? It’s easy to get into a transactional type of relationship at work but are we better off? I’ll remember this and I’ll do better. Thank you!

WHEEEEEEE!

Some days are designed for skipping out of work early to head to the nearest slide with your boo.





Have a great weekend everybody!

Catholic U schoolgirl gone atonal!

Oh man, Antonella or as I like to call her Atone-ella never fails to deliver the ENTERTAINMENT! The good news is she's beautiful. I think next year they should have a subcategory of "The good news is you're beautiful." It's not fair that they have to compete against singers. We call call it America's Next Top Idol.

It's pretty much a race between Lakisha and Melinda with the rest fighting for exit order. I didn't much care for Funny Valentine the song but she sang it out.

I hated hated that Beyonce song. It sounded like a big honking mess to me. I don't know if the original was any better but without any frame of reference it fell apart. I had to FF through Haley's Queen of the Night. Oy, that was a disaster. Her fiancee is smokin hot though so I would support her staying in the competition if he gets more screen time.

All aboard the Antonella train wreck!