calm

The paper is being written, the plans are being finalized, the documents are being checked. In just a few days we fly off to pick up the little turtle. Wish us luck!

Transition

I'm trying to finish up my class, writing a paper, and dealing with big work project. All in all terrible timing for all this busy-ness. The call could come any day now. I won't miss this constant anxiety and wondering. Of course we are warned about how different everything will be.

Deep breath.

Ready....

Imminent Domain

It looks like the little one will be home soon. It's thrilling and exciting. Can't say too much for fear of jinxies.

Mother

So, we received a picture of the birth mother last week. I wasn't expecting to feel guilty. OK, my first shallow thought was she's pretty thank god. Then I felt really bad for taking her child. I know intellectually that this was her decision but it just feels weird. We will have her contact info and we're already planning on sharing that at some later date. Our friends who are getting the twins are going to meet their birth mother this week. I wonder if the decision is easier or more difficult because of this meeting. Maybe with more contact everything just becomes more complicated.

Day care

I worry about daycare. Is it the right thing to do? I know that there are perfectly happy healthy children who have grown up in daycare but part of me feels like I should be staying home. We looked at the numbers and I don't see how one of us (probably me) would stay at home. Would the added stress of a lower income be worth it? How would family life suffer when faced with moving much further out and my partner's commute doubled, tripled?

travel baby

We received word that we could travel to Guatemala to visit our son! So now we are working with the agency concerning possible dates in August. Now, about getting that nursery finished and assembling the diaper bag.


gulp

Such a vicious world

Seeing the violence in London flashes me back to the attacks in DC. I feel for the insecurity and reality shredding that people must be going through. You're going about your business like any other day, finishing breakfast, heading off to work when news of explosions reach you. These aren't in some other part of the world but across town or even down the street.

What a vicious world.

Marriage!

So it's official, Spain and soon Canada will be joining the League of Equal Rights Nations. Retiring to that sunny little home on the southern coast of spain is sounding better and better.

Waiting

7:05 Check email for note.

7:35 Check email for word from agency.

7:47 Check email again in case I glanced too quickly.

8:12 Look just one more time just to be sure.

8:38 Surf other adoption sites, look at baby pictures.

8:46 Consider writing email to adoption rep.

9:14 Google for baby gear

9:22 Congratulate self for not checking email.

9:23 Check email.

Baby Gear'd

The great stroller decision has been made. The crib has been ordered. The nursery has been painted. Diaper bag has been bought.

*whew*

Now we're just waiting for junior. It's strange how you have to make all these decisions without quite knowing how you are going to use them or what will be needed. Like a diaper bag, how the hell do I know how big of a bag I'm going to need? We shall see, young Skywalker.

The baby lists are growing. There are strollers, carseats, cribs.... it's like a foreign language and I've yet to learn all the codes. I'm picking products but I fear I'm not investing enough time and my boy will get this unsafe firetrap that explodes upon the first use.

Visa

We've received our visa clearance. We are officially approved for the kid by the US gov. I'm getting more nervous and excited. Still don't quite know the timeframe for all of this but we shall see. Need to call agency to make sure they got all of my documents.

paper fly

The documents should be sent today. I'm so excited. Can you feel the tension? Update soon.

We finally received our last document for the bambino. Now, we authenticate and then certify. It is actually coming to a close soon. Of course this just means that we'll get on a waiting list but at least our part will be over.

Wish us luck.

Changes

The finalized homestudy has finally arrived! Now there's just one more doc to arrive at our little door and I can complete the authentication stage. This weekend we'll get fingerprinted by INS and hand in the homestudy so that the INS countdown will begin. Also next week I'll need to get the police clearance redone as I made an error on the address.

Why?

As my partner and I have begun the adoption process it has felt like we were entering this new world, where two dads don't exist. This new reality came into view when we first walked into a baby goods store and the salesclerk completely ignored us turning to the woman behind us with a happy greeting. Also when I went check out the daycare center at my work I discovered that they had no other adopted children there.

I had been kicking around the blog idea for a while and when I came across that story on a buddhist site (gee I should probably credit that after I refind the link) it seemed a natural fit. There may be a very big ocean out there full of fish but if you walk a bit you'll find a great pond all for your exploring.

One day the turtle went for a walk on dry land. He was away from the lake for a few weeks. When he returned he met some of the fish. The fish asked him, "Mister turtle, hello! How are you? We have not seen you for a few weeks. Where have you been? The turtle said, "I was up on the land, I have been spending some time on dry land." The fish were a little puzzled and they said, "Up on dry land? What are you talking about? What is this dry land? Is it wet?" The turtle said "No, it is not," "Is it cool and refreshing?" "No it is not", "Does it have waves and ripples?" "No, it does not have waves and ripples." "Can you swim in it?" "No you can't" So the fish said, "it is not wet, it is not cool there are no waves, you cant swim in it. So this dry land of yours must be completely non-existent, just an imaginary thing, nothing real at all." The turtle said that "Well may be so" and he left the fish and went for another walk on dry land.