Thursday, June 28, 2007


E's talking more and more. New phrases are popping up all the time. I was trying to get him to come downstairs and he looks at me and says "I'll be back." and he dashes off to his room.

We don't get a lot of cuddly E because he's such an active kid so when he is still and silent I just drink it up. The evening routine is golden. We read lots of stories at bedtime. He'd keep going and going if we'd let him with story after story. I think it's partly interest and partly stalling. After the stories we sing a few songs and then I put him down. Last night, he was fading out, yawning widely as I put him in his crib. I lean over softly saying "I love you." He turns over, look up at me, eyelids heavy and tells me, "I tooted."


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

You may have missed...

Nice story about gay parents from CNN:

Jackson is one of 65,000 adopted children being raised by same-sex parents in the United States, according to a March 2007 report compiled by the Urban Institute and the Williams Institute at University of California at Los Angeles School of Law.

The same report estimates more than 14,100 foster children were living with one or more gay or lesbian foster parent.

Roach and his longtime partner, Ken Manford, adopted Jackson from Guatemala in 2001 and say he is not overly bothered by the non-traditional character of their family.

"We worry about it more than he does," Roach said, although the two fathers acknowledged that Jackson had been asking about "mom" lately.

"We're pretty upfront about it," Manford said. "You just ...say, 'If you had a mommy, then you wouldn't have two daddies. Is that what you want?' And he says, 'No I want two daddies and a mommy.'"

"Well, there's not a mommy, you've got grandma, and granny and Aunt Jennifer. And he'll say, 'OK.'"

Though denied the right to marry in every state except Massachusetts, more and more same-sex couples are turning to adoption and foster care to form families, according to child adoption groups who study the issue.

Gay parents

Friday, June 22, 2007


What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

R because of the word "gay" how ridiculous. I was worried I might get a G.

Oh the places you'll grow

I have to say the impatience/guilt combo is a unique emotional duo I haven’t experienced before parenting. E has perfected this unique mental torture game of saying “I’ll do it.” And then staring at you and then when you move to do it, he throws the fit down.

What is this about? Why don’t you do it? What is this test? The crying when you are told no makes sense but this staring at me after you say “I’ll do it.” …. What do you you gain? Arrrrgh.

He’s also learning to leap off the ottoman with wild abandon. It’s one of those parenting dilemmas. He’s an active kid so I’m all for any sort of physical activity that will tire him out without risking permanent bodily injury, but how much freedom do you free?

I had to tell our current daycare or school as we like to call it around the house that we’d be switching centers in August. I already feel bad about E losing his friends but I didn’t expect the reactions from the staff. I mean it’s wonderful that they care about him but I have to look at the long-term situation. E will be going to school with kids he’ll enter elementary school with and they’re all local families plus the new school is less than a mile from the house which means a quick commute for him.

Wouldn’t you know it that last week E had to go and tell one of his teachers that he loved them too. Oh little man you’re killing me. Save that adorableness for your new teachers! The teacher told me that after he told her “ I love you M.” she started to cry and he said “Don’t cry, M.” This may sound strange but I’m slowly becoming aware of E as his own person. I’d only been focused on what he was learning in school. Before last week, I hadn’t really thought about how he might be affecting other people too.

They say they want to have a going away party for E. Part of me hopes E won’t really understand what’s going on…. For my sake.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Happy Father's Day

Since I won't be online tomorrow, to all you Dads of all shapes, sizes, and colors. You're awesome! Give the little ones and big ones a hug for me.

Cheers, Brian

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


I love this video. It's an amateur video of a milonga at the Freedom Plaza in downtown DC. I'd never heard of this popular summertime milonga, the Milonga a la Libertad, but apparently it happens most Sundays from 7 to 10 p.m. from May until Sept. It's free to join in -- participants are merely asked to bring a snack or beverage to share.

It's kind of subversive and beautiful. As the camera pans all the way to the left you can sort of make out the Capitol building. How cool would it be to walk down a busy downtown street and see a tango or waltz break out in front of you?

/ hat tip dcist

Monday, June 11, 2007

You may have missed...

Great article from the Baltimore Sun


Maryland's appeal is bolstered by the reputation of the Baltimore City Circuit Court, which was the first in the state to grant a second-parent adoption to a gay partner. It is well-known in certain circles as a friendly and efficient place for gay couples to complete adoptions and has, as a result, become a popular jurisdiction for such proceedings. Gay families also say they are drawn to Maryland because of the climate of acceptance they've found in the state.


Almost 4,400 children were adopted in Maryland in 2001, the most recent year that complete figures were available, according to the U.S. Children's Bureau. There are no figures for how many of them were adopted by gay parents. But a recent study found that Maryland is a leader in the total number of adopted children living in gay or lesbian households, ranking eighth among the states.

Using the 2000 Census, researchers from the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, a UCLA think tank, and the Urban Institute, a nonpartisan research organization, determined that 2,142 of the 32,269 adopted children in Maryland were living with gay couples.,0,4812939.story?page=1&track=mostemailedlink

Friday, June 08, 2007

Daddy-o, Daddy-no

A friend recently asked me what it’s like having a 2-year-old in the house. I told him well I get this a lot, I mean seriously a loooot: “No, Daddy, No!” I’m wondering if he thinks my full name is Daddy No (not to be confused with Dr. No of course).

Then again we’re also getting little snippets into his day. On the way home in the car I was told with much force that “I don’t like beans.” Given the sentiment attached I pictured a massive pinto bean chasing E throughout the center. “EEEEK! I don’t like beans!” Actually it still comes out with his pseudo-Italian accent as “I don’t like-a beans.”

Pride festivities are this weekend and we are celebrating with full rainbow colors by having brunch. It will be great catching up with some friends and we may just hit the fair as well. I like-a brunch.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

With a name like Maryland, we expect more.

The turtle blog salutes Equality Maryland for doing the lord’s work. Marylanders can easily get involved in protecting our civil rights using their website as a starting point.

Some of the more than one thousand rights, benefits and responsibilities that accompany a civil marriage license include:
· The right to visit a spouse in the hospital
· The right to make medical decisions for a sick spouse
· The right to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse
· Access to family courts for dissolution of relationships
· Death benefits for surviving spouses of firefighters and police officers
· Mutual responsibility for debts
· Joint assessment of income for determining eligibility for state government assistance programs
· Ability to sponsor a spouse from another country for a green card
· Community property ownership protections
· Child custody, visitation, and duties of financial support to children
· Eligibility for health benefits (without taxation) and COBRA benefits through an employer
· Ability to take leave to care for a sick spouse under the Family and Medical Leave Act
· Right to inherit a spouse's pension
· Entitlement to inherit social security and disability benefits upon the death of a spouse
· Ability to inherit jointly owned property without incurring tax penalties
· Right to file joint income taxes
· Ability to put a spouse on the deed to a home without incurring tax penalties
· Access to "family memberships"
· Domestic violence protections
· Immunity from testifying against a spouse
· Right to sue for wrongful death of a spouse

The Maryland Court of Appeals could issue a verdict any day now. Keep your fingers crossed everybody!

Sign the petition! Get involved!

Friday, June 01, 2007

A little over nine years, on the sidewalk in front of Lauriol Plaza, (now Rosemary’s Thyme) a mutual friend introduced me to this smart, handsome man. He was coming from his office so was carrying all these blueprints that looked like they would overwhelm him. There was an air of rumpled, confident sexiness about him. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time that was slowly grinding its way into a messy break-up. Later we’d go on our first date, adopt a dog, talk about starting a family….

I’ve never been happier in my life and I know that’s because of L. To belong is a wonderful thing and I know we belong together. If I could put into words how wonderful you are this blog would never end. Happy anniversary L!

What, me worry?

I am the designated worrier in our family. Systems evolve and partners take up different roles as they discover what they’re best at. It seems that I have a remarkable ability to see the danger lurking in the most inoffensive scenarios. I blame my mother of course.

I don’t always seek out this information on hidden dangers, one reporter with a black light in a motel room can cause long-lasting permanent damage. I have a modicum of control. I don’t run up to people eating a hot dog to tell them how much foreign matter is allowed by law. With close friends I warn them that they can stop me at any time but I have to let them know about the dangers of eating that unwrapped communal candy sitting so close to the restrooms if you get my drift.

The latest anxiety to manifest itself is sodium benzoate:

A University of Sheffield researcher says a preservative commonly used in soft drinks and other food items may cause genetic damage -- contributing to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases like Parkinson's.

Professor Peter Piper has spent eight years studying the effects of sodium benzoate, known as E211 in the food industry. Sodium benzoate is widely used to inhibit mold growth in a variety of consumer foods. But Piper claims the additive produces cellular damage that closely mimics the effects of chronic alcoholism, causing premature aging and a variety of serious health concerns. He says his research indicates that sodium benzoate attacks a crucial portion of human DNA known as the mitochondria.

"These chemicals have the ability to cause severe damage to DNA in the mitochondria to the point that they totally inactivate it: they knock it out altogether," Piper told the UK newspaper The Independent on Sunday..

Members of Parliament immediately called upon the Food Standards Agency -- the UK equivalent of the United Stated Food and Drug Administration -- to investigate Piper's claims.

Sodium benzoate is widely used in soft drinks, jams, pickles, mouthwash, and animal foods. It occurs naturally in cranberries and a number of common fruits. Sodium benzoate is also used as an additive in some fireworks.

So, each time I drink a diet soda I’ll be thinking of cellular damage or eating bottle rockets. No thanks.


now our son is becoming more and more the daredevil. I know injuries will happen sooner or later. I broke several bones through my childhood and with E’s dexterity and fearlessness it’s almost inevitable. He jumps off everything. If he can climb it he thinks he can jump off it.

He’s also picking up on my love of ninjas. I’m very proud that if you ask him what a ninja says he’ll respond “Hee-yah” complete with karate chop. L went even further and taught him to say “Ninja Warrior” with a kick. There’s going to be a call from daycare any day now, “yes I’m afraid E put a chokehold on another child and rendered him unconscious. Can you pick him up now?”