Monday, February 13, 2006

Defensive Stance

The wee one and I take a walk every day mostly for dad's sanity. We hit the park mostly where I enter the Kingdom of Moms.

Before the his arrival I'd heard about dads getting comments or even hostility from strangers at the sight of a gay dad and his son so I've been prepared. I've got my skillz and I'm ready to protect my family. The only problem? Nothing has happened. The worst is a woman commented to me as I was leaving a govt. office that I should put his jacket on before going outside. (I told her I was going to do it in the lobby because apparently he has an allergic reaction to sleeves.) Yeah this was rude but I couldn't claim a hate crime exactly.

So as I cross out Mother on yet another form and write in Dad I'll take a moment to thank the mothers with open minds and the gay dads who came before me.


Steve S said...

We've never encountered any hostility either, although I have been worried about it as well.

The only thing I've encountered that was annoying was when we were walking from the car to the preschool and I was about 10 feet ahead of Kristin. Somebody said "you're forgetting your little one."

I didn't say anything but just thought, '10 feet, geez. It's not like we're joined at the hip.'

Oh yeah, there was one time at the grocery store, Kristin was probably 6 months old and somebody commented that she shouldn't be outside without a hat. I just ignored the comment, I don't think people should tell someone else how to raise kids, but I know that it's instinctual for a lot of people so just try to blow it off. I didn't want Kristin to be SO protected in her young days that the first strong breeze would give her a bad illness or something like that.

In terms of overall acceptance and the whole family thing, everybody has been very supportive, which makes you wonder where these people are on election day!

The Brian said...

Ugh, don't get me started on elections. Living in DC I get constant reminders about the last election.

Green Dads said...

When our son first came two years ago I used to go out with a little bit of a defensive stance. But for the most part people have been supportive and friendly.

Early on the only the only vaguely hostile remarks we got were about his hair. I had trimmed his hair, and apparently ran into a big cultural taboo in the African American community here about cutting kids hair before they are two.

The Brian said...

Hey GD, that reminds me of something I read on a gay dad list and I need to write about. I may ask for your input.