Friday, April 18, 2008

never everland

I sometimes read a discussion group with people who are considering parenthood. It's an interesting window back into a time I can scarcely connect with any more. My life seems split into two pieces now: one with child and one long ago.

One of the most striking things about the pre- or maybe not at all parents is how they speak in absolutes. "I'll never take my child to Disneyland." or "I can never give up my reading time."

I grin and chuckle to myself. How strange to be so sure of anything. What I've learned from being in a relationship for near 10 years now and having this little adorable id come into my life is that nothing is concrete. Even something as simple as food preferences are fluid. You don't like broccoli today but in a month maybe so! I'll never buy Disney products and then there I am with a set of Mickey Mouse underwear because I can't deny that big grin. Here I am kicking a soccer ball and looking up leagues for the summer. I hate sports.

It's liberating though. We can box ourselves in with these conditions and once you let go you realize just how much fun you can have with a couple puppets on a rainy afternoon.


Eos said...

LOL! So true!
I'm big on boycotting organizations whose policies I don't agree with and already I've had to break one of them because of my daughter.

Oh and there was that "I want gender neutral toys and educational only" thing I went through that quickly got destroyed by very girly princess pink crap!LOL I just smile and (internally) shake my head when I hear people talk that way.

Cooper said...

Wonderful post! You are so right. People who say these kinds of things don't have kids ... yet. We all have our ideals we strive for in parenting, but one thing you learn very quickly is the need to be flexible and fluid. I, too, said I wouldn't buy Disney mass-produced products. Dario adores the Cars movie and we have gradually acquired enough of these items to stock a small booth. As you say, the grin of joy is worth it.

Another pitfall I try to avoid is emphatically saying "My child will never .... (fill in the blank)". Oh yes, whatever it is, you are almost guaranteed they will do it at some point.

In a restaurant recently, I overheard a young woman say to her friend, "When I have kids I will never allow them to have a runny nose. That's so gross!"

Alrighty, then. Good luck with that.

Oh, hockey is over until October, and I have just signed my oldest son up for his second season of soccer. I, too, loath team sports, yet there we are. See you at the soccer field! :)

Jennifer said...

I have no idea what is in store for me as a parent. I do have some some ideas on what kind of parent I would like to be - but I am not saying "never". I just don't know...

How are you feeling after the PA vote? I was hoping the margin would be a little closer...

Bacchus said...

I love listening to expectant parents talk about how they have it all figured out. He he he ho ho

My favorite is when they are say "Of course I'm ready and I can handle it." I just want to laugh because

1. I remember saying those exact same things.
2. None of us is completely ready or ever 100% able to handle everything. I mean really, how does anyone teach you to handle baby puke at 3am! No way. Or a real screaming fit in the middle of a store, sometimes the kids and sometime not. LOL

Great Post!