Don't touch anything!

The scene: average dirty public restroom
The objective: use the restroom with three-year-old
The dialogue:

"Don't touch that!"

"Why?"

"Because it's dirty."

"Why?"

"Because lots of people use this bathroom and not everybody washes their hands. Don't look under there!"

"Echo! Echoooooo! EEEECHHHHOOOOOOOOO"

"E, can you be quiet please."

"Why?"

"Because you're being really loud."

"What's this?"

"Oh my god! I don't know, give me one second and don't put your thumb in your mouth."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what you just picked up."

"What's he doing?" / looking under stall divider

"He's p eeing."

"I wanna see."

"The man wants privacy."

"What's he doing?"

"He's p eeing."

"No, he's p ooping."

"Whatever. Just leave him alone."

"Why?"

"I said DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING and stop looking under the wall."

"Hello!"

"E Stop it!"

/ mad dash to wash hands and get out of bathroom before we're seen

Sneezey

So, you're suffering from allergies and the pollens are attacking your respiratory system every day, every hour, what feels like every minute. How could it be worse?

I'll tell ya. You pull a muscle on a particularly violent sneeze and now every time you sneeze it feels like someone is poking you in the side with a screwdriver. Hooray! We're experiencing a big rainstorm now that will hopefully clear the air out. I'm trying Claritin now to see if it will have some effect on my sneezing spasms.

........

Call me crazy but I'm thinking that we might wait Vietnam out to see if some miracle might happen. The chances are miniscule but there is a chance. In some ways it's easier to delay making a decision too. Maybe the universe will provide, maybe it won't.

All the love that you long for eludes you

It's been a strange week. I found myself in mourning, feeling like I'd lost a child. It's completely irrational I know but it was like a slam in the chest. Why do things have to be sooo difficult sometimes? My mind is weary from thinking about the options, and the countries, and the laws, and the finances. How bizarre that surrogacy seems like an easy choice now. My ipod randomly offers up Kirsty MacColl's "You Just haven't Earned it Yet Baby."

You just havent earned it yet, baby
You just havent earned it, son
You just havent earned it yet, baby
You must suffer and cry for a longer time

and it's oddly comforting. I can move past this and start anew. Hope glimmers a bit, there is backchannel talk about a possible renegotiation but I'm cautious. I have a fabulous life now, a wonderful partner and an amazing son who will be turning 3 this weekend and this is where I'm needed in the here and now.

The cake is ordered and I've bought the party supplies, the guests (all of them) have all said they're coming. I'm leaving work early today to take the cupcakes into school to have a little party and then we celebrate again with friends and family.

I will stop and look around and take in all the love and joy that a noisy fun house can entail.

Happy Birthday my little man!