Friday, May 23, 2008

Don't touch anything!

The scene: average dirty public restroom
The objective: use the restroom with three-year-old
The dialogue:

"Don't touch that!"


"Because it's dirty."


"Because lots of people use this bathroom and not everybody washes their hands. Don't look under there!"


"E, can you be quiet please."


"Because you're being really loud."

"What's this?"

"Oh my god! I don't know, give me one second and don't put your thumb in your mouth."


"Because I don't know what you just picked up."

"What's he doing?" / looking under stall divider

"He's p eeing."

"I wanna see."

"The man wants privacy."

"What's he doing?"

"He's p eeing."

"No, he's p ooping."

"Whatever. Just leave him alone."


"I said DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING and stop looking under the wall."


"E Stop it!"

/ mad dash to wash hands and get out of bathroom before we're seen


Bacchus said...

Thank god I'm not the only who sounds like that in public restrooms. Little Man likes to wave under the stalls to the other people saying"HI". Privacy is something we need to teach him quickly.

LOL I love the echo part.

Eos said...

That was funny and I used to sound like that too...I actually once asked K to just raise her hands please so I could see she wasn't touching anything. People looked at me like I was some neurotic insane person...who cares...public bathrooms are nasty!LOL She spared me the looking/talking about other people's routine though...that's insanely funny!!!

Echo, echo...I might come back a few times today to reread this and chuckle!LOL

Steve said...

Hysterical. I love how they see it as an adventure to be in a public restroom.

Dan said...

Bless the wee ones!
I have had to start dealing with this too, not quite with as much talking, but still..

And I have to do it with a GIRL. A girl fascinated by urinals and men standing at them...

Mike said...


TigerYogiji said...

Too funny! :)

Jennifer said...

Oh lord - so this is what I have to look forward to?? Hee hee.