I have to laugh now at the idea that having a child could save a marriage. If anything it provides you with new material to fight over. In one of Dan Savage’s books he mentions having date nights away from the child so that they can remember what it was that made them want to be parents. I can relate. Perhaps it ‘s the coming chill in the air or fussiness at my declining gym schedule but there are days of late that I find it difficult to muster enthusiasm at stacking blocks. Plus there was the whole moving and we’re beginning renovations soon. Ha ha ha. What stress?
The new problem is that lately I’ve felt like I’ve been more of the disciplinarian. As E explores and gains even more mobility and climbing ability it’s exhausting. Plus as we’ve learned from others E’s an active child. Some days I’d like to take him to a running track and let him burn off a few miles. We stopped by Borders where I imagined a fun little visit with him enthralled by all the books and flipping through the pages until we decided on one. Reality: E goes to a shelf picks up a book, throws it on the floor, go to next book pick it up, throw on floor…
Somewhere in the middle I need to relax a bit more and L needs to step in more.
Tomorrow is Halloween and E will be the cutest bumblebee you’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about Halloween before.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Adoption
You may notice a new linkage over there. / points to sidebar I've decided to gather information and links for adoption resources. I'm sure this has been done by others and probably done better by others. However, the more information that is out there for gay parents the better. I'm going to collect info sourced from gay parenting sites or groups. Hopefully the list will grow over time. Should you have any questions feel free to email me!
Cheers, Brian
Cheers, Brian
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Mine!
It’s fascinating to watch E’s development into personhood. Different little facets of his personality are coming forward like his love for Elmo. There must be some kind of strong voodoo with Elmo because as I talk to other parents it seems that all kids go through an Elmo stage.
Dinnertime is interesting now... E has learned how to feed our dog Nemo. If he’s in his chair and doesn’t like what he’s eating he’ll hold it out and call the dog over. Nemo of course quickly figured this one out and the 2 have formed a nefarious partnership. We’ve had to ban the big guy from the dining room.
It appears that everything in the house is becoming E’s. All sorts of objects, the tv remotes, my jacket, the lamp are becoming “Mine!” He points to it or grabs the object in question and lets you know whose it is. We’re working on ownership especially in regards to the remotes. He grabs it and runs from the room with a giggle. The little guy can run fast now too. Ah well reality sets in soon enough. For now, the world is yours, just let me change the freakin channel.
Dinnertime is interesting now... E has learned how to feed our dog Nemo. If he’s in his chair and doesn’t like what he’s eating he’ll hold it out and call the dog over. Nemo of course quickly figured this one out and the 2 have formed a nefarious partnership. We’ve had to ban the big guy from the dining room.
It appears that everything in the house is becoming E’s. All sorts of objects, the tv remotes, my jacket, the lamp are becoming “Mine!” He points to it or grabs the object in question and lets you know whose it is. We’re working on ownership especially in regards to the remotes. He grabs it and runs from the room with a giggle. The little guy can run fast now too. Ah well reality sets in soon enough. For now, the world is yours, just let me change the freakin channel.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Th-th-th-th that's all folks!
The fledgling Iraqi government must "step up and take more responsibility" for the country's security, a high-ranking White House official said Monday.
At the same time, Dan Bartlett denied in a television interview that the Bush administration's war policy has been a sweeping "stay the course" commitment, saying "what we aren't doing is sitting there with our heads in the sand."
In contrast to earlier White House statements, Bartlett did not deny a New York Times report saying the head of the U.S.-led Multinational Forces in Iraq and the U.S. ambassador were working on a plan that for the first time would set a specific timetable for disarming militias and meeting other political and economic goals.
"I was a bit puzzled about the report over the weekend because it was stating something that we've been talking publicly about for months," the senior White House counselor said on CBS's "The Early Show." Bartlett said the goal is to "define demonstrable milestones and benchmarks" and said it has been "very much a part of our strategy all along."
...
I wonder if this is the Bugs Bunny strategy in which you start saying the exact opposite of what you are doing in hopes that your peers will state your goal and then you can confidently state that it is indeed Duck Season. This is one of the most surreal elections I've ever witnessed.
At the same time, Dan Bartlett denied in a television interview that the Bush administration's war policy has been a sweeping "stay the course" commitment, saying "what we aren't doing is sitting there with our heads in the sand."
In contrast to earlier White House statements, Bartlett did not deny a New York Times report saying the head of the U.S.-led Multinational Forces in Iraq and the U.S. ambassador were working on a plan that for the first time would set a specific timetable for disarming militias and meeting other political and economic goals.
"I was a bit puzzled about the report over the weekend because it was stating something that we've been talking publicly about for months," the senior White House counselor said on CBS's "The Early Show." Bartlett said the goal is to "define demonstrable milestones and benchmarks" and said it has been "very much a part of our strategy all along."
...
I wonder if this is the Bugs Bunny strategy in which you start saying the exact opposite of what you are doing in hopes that your peers will state your goal and then you can confidently state that it is indeed Duck Season. This is one of the most surreal elections I've ever witnessed.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Papa Don't Preach, I'm Adopting my Baby
I know you probably haven’t heard much about this but apparently Madonna is adopting a baby from Malawi. The result has been an interesting maelstrom of criticism.
The first group includes the anti-Madonna. You’ll note them by the fad argument. All the celebrities are adopting foreign babies. Madonna is copying Angelina Jolie. It’s the newest thing in Hollywood. Eh. If you hate Madonna you’re still going to hate Madonna. It doesn’t matter how many millions she might donate to the children, all that matters is that the hater’s street cred is in tact. Oh yes the Ramones are terribly cool and isn’t it sad that CBGB’s is closing. Madonna is a total wanker.
The second group believes it is an abuse of power. Celebrities shouldn’t be above the law. She’s taking advantage of poor people. Well yes, this is all a bit true. Celebrities have long had access to power that we as commonfolk shall never have. Even the great and powerful Oprah threw down when a certain shop closed its doors on her face. When faced with a long line in front of San Francisco’s City Hall Rosie O’Donnell and her partner were whisked ahead for star treatment and a quickie marriage. So, the use and/or abuse of power is contingent upon the goal. In some cases the end result (Madonna, Rosie) has a net positive while in others (Oprah) it is merely to shop in private.
Lastly, there is a school of thought that only families of that country should raise their native children and all international placements should be stopped. Organizations such as UNICEF work against Western families from adopting abroad. Charges of baby buying enter into the debate. To me this is one of the most egregious and most difficult to fight. It assumes that by default that a family from the US or UK could not provide a better life for a child. To outlaw all such adoptions in the end hurts the children. Some of the poorest countries in the world ban outside adoption. To deny these children access to better nutrition, education, and resources is a national horror.
The first group includes the anti-Madonna. You’ll note them by the fad argument. All the celebrities are adopting foreign babies. Madonna is copying Angelina Jolie. It’s the newest thing in Hollywood. Eh. If you hate Madonna you’re still going to hate Madonna. It doesn’t matter how many millions she might donate to the children, all that matters is that the hater’s street cred is in tact. Oh yes the Ramones are terribly cool and isn’t it sad that CBGB’s is closing. Madonna is a total wanker.
The second group believes it is an abuse of power. Celebrities shouldn’t be above the law. She’s taking advantage of poor people. Well yes, this is all a bit true. Celebrities have long had access to power that we as commonfolk shall never have. Even the great and powerful Oprah threw down when a certain shop closed its doors on her face. When faced with a long line in front of San Francisco’s City Hall Rosie O’Donnell and her partner were whisked ahead for star treatment and a quickie marriage. So, the use and/or abuse of power is contingent upon the goal. In some cases the end result (Madonna, Rosie) has a net positive while in others (Oprah) it is merely to shop in private.
Lastly, there is a school of thought that only families of that country should raise their native children and all international placements should be stopped. Organizations such as UNICEF work against Western families from adopting abroad. Charges of baby buying enter into the debate. To me this is one of the most egregious and most difficult to fight. It assumes that by default that a family from the US or UK could not provide a better life for a child. To outlaw all such adoptions in the end hurts the children. Some of the poorest countries in the world ban outside adoption. To deny these children access to better nutrition, education, and resources is a national horror.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Road to Runway
I think Tim's house visits are my favorite part of the Project Runway season. It's fascinating to see how the designers work and where they come from. You get much less of the fronting and more of the individuals.
You know I used to think having a nanny was this big deal but once you've priced out daycare centers, it really isn't that much of a price differential. They should have given Laura's nanny at least a second of screen time. The living room redesign for Laura's boys was a smart way to handle the destructive force of kids that age. I liked the dresses she showed. I don't think it is enough for her to win but it might make sense for her potential niche post Runway.
Perhaps I blacked it out but I never noticed that Jeffrey has a mullet. Thank god for Harrison he seems to be the only sane one in that family. I was inspired by Japanese horror comics. Whatever. It's the same tattered, sloppy sh*t you've been showing all season. Like Laura I'm highly skeptical that he did all that work by himself. We saw the freakin clothes factory he has in his assembly plant, er, studio.
I confess I haven't been a big Michael fan with the whore comment and the I'm not gay mea culpa's but the bit with his family was really sweet. That said the pieces we previewed were horrorific and not what I expected from him.
Uli's backstory was very interesting. I didn't see enough of her collection to make an opinion. The little glimpses were interesting. She may be the dark german horse.
I would love love to see a Laura win. She's fabulous. In the end though I'd be happy with anyone but Jeffrey.
You know I used to think having a nanny was this big deal but once you've priced out daycare centers, it really isn't that much of a price differential. They should have given Laura's nanny at least a second of screen time. The living room redesign for Laura's boys was a smart way to handle the destructive force of kids that age. I liked the dresses she showed. I don't think it is enough for her to win but it might make sense for her potential niche post Runway.
Perhaps I blacked it out but I never noticed that Jeffrey has a mullet. Thank god for Harrison he seems to be the only sane one in that family. I was inspired by Japanese horror comics. Whatever. It's the same tattered, sloppy sh*t you've been showing all season. Like Laura I'm highly skeptical that he did all that work by himself. We saw the freakin clothes factory he has in his assembly plant, er, studio.
I confess I haven't been a big Michael fan with the whore comment and the I'm not gay mea culpa's but the bit with his family was really sweet. That said the pieces we previewed were horrorific and not what I expected from him.
Uli's backstory was very interesting. I didn't see enough of her collection to make an opinion. The little glimpses were interesting. She may be the dark german horse.
I would love love to see a Laura win. She's fabulous. In the end though I'd be happy with anyone but Jeffrey.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Start Charging
Finally, an argument the Republicans can support? We may need to add some sort of oil connection... perhaps we can throw in drilling rights. ba-da-boom!
Study: Marriage equality good for the economy
Giving same-sex couples the right to marry nationwide would be not only a boost to equality but a boost to the economy.
A new study released Tuesday by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law indicates that there are numerous economic benefits to marriage equality.
The study, titled "The Effect of Marriage Equality and Domestic Partnership on Business and the Economy," tracked other research studies and found that gay workers who receive domestic-partnership benefits are more comfortable in their work environment and far happier -- and more productive -- than employees who do not receive them.
The study also showed that it can be costly for businesses to manage benefits for its employees in same-sex relationships without a uniform standard of legal recognition.
"Policy-makers and businesspeople have not fully recognized the enormous potential gains to the economy from treating same-sex couples equally," M. V. Lee Badgett, the study's coauthor and research director of the Williams Institute, said in a statement.
"Our study shows that equal treatment of couples in the business world attracts heterosexual employees and creates more productive workplaces for gay, lesbian, and bisexual employees," Badgett said.
The study underscored the specific financial gain that would be spurred by same-sex marriage.
"Spending on new weddings alone would generate $2 billion for businesses in the wedding industry," Gary J. Gates, senior research associate at the Williams Institute and study coauthor, said in the statement.
"Places that allow same-sex couples to marry have reported noticeable boosts in business for hotels, caterers, florists, and other wedding-related businesses."
Source: PlanetOut
Study: Marriage equality good for the economy
Giving same-sex couples the right to marry nationwide would be not only a boost to equality but a boost to the economy.
A new study released Tuesday by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law indicates that there are numerous economic benefits to marriage equality.
The study, titled "The Effect of Marriage Equality and Domestic Partnership on Business and the Economy," tracked other research studies and found that gay workers who receive domestic-partnership benefits are more comfortable in their work environment and far happier -- and more productive -- than employees who do not receive them.
The study also showed that it can be costly for businesses to manage benefits for its employees in same-sex relationships without a uniform standard of legal recognition.
"Policy-makers and businesspeople have not fully recognized the enormous potential gains to the economy from treating same-sex couples equally," M. V. Lee Badgett, the study's coauthor and research director of the Williams Institute, said in a statement.
"Our study shows that equal treatment of couples in the business world attracts heterosexual employees and creates more productive workplaces for gay, lesbian, and bisexual employees," Badgett said.
The study underscored the specific financial gain that would be spurred by same-sex marriage.
"Spending on new weddings alone would generate $2 billion for businesses in the wedding industry," Gary J. Gates, senior research associate at the Williams Institute and study coauthor, said in the statement.
"Places that allow same-sex couples to marry have reported noticeable boosts in business for hotels, caterers, florists, and other wedding-related businesses."
Source: PlanetOut
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
As soon as I said it I knew it was a mistake. Little skirmishes arise. Ethical grenades are lobbed your way in the most innocuous of places, a grocery store, a co-worker’s party, or a playground.
Extroversion shows itself early on the playground. Some kids are very chatty and as soon as they learn to string a few words together, they’re yakking away. Since it was so warm that day I strapped E into the backpack carrier, leashed up Nemo and started down the trail to the playground about a mile or so away. I love the wooded path and Nemo really gets into all the deer, rabbit and who knows what else smells.
At the park, I set E down and he raced off to pick up rocks, one of his new hobbies. I noticed a little girl staring at us as I chased E around. When I got within range the question salvo began, “What’s he doing? What’s his name? What are you doing?” The nanny sat on the bench talking away as her little charge was left to amuse herself.
With a little attention Ms. Chatty ramped it up. “Are you E’s daddy?” and then “Where’s E’s Mommy?”
I’d never been asked this before. My mind pinged through a couple options and then I went with the easy answer, “E’s Mommy is far away.”
As soon as it came out I knew it was wrong - wrong for me, wrong for E and wrong for my family. Once it’s out there you can’t go back either. She accepted the answer but I knew I was going to have to do better. I wanted to make it easy for her to give her something that fit into her world.
E is picking up on these cues. He sees the Mommies coming to pick up the kids at daycare. He knows he has 2 dads and he knows they love him. Right now he doesn't know that it's different and I wish I could keep him in this safe little world. I want him to be proud of who he is and to be proud of his dads.
More than that I want to be proud of his dads and this time I think I failed.
Extroversion shows itself early on the playground. Some kids are very chatty and as soon as they learn to string a few words together, they’re yakking away. Since it was so warm that day I strapped E into the backpack carrier, leashed up Nemo and started down the trail to the playground about a mile or so away. I love the wooded path and Nemo really gets into all the deer, rabbit and who knows what else smells.
At the park, I set E down and he raced off to pick up rocks, one of his new hobbies. I noticed a little girl staring at us as I chased E around. When I got within range the question salvo began, “What’s he doing? What’s his name? What are you doing?” The nanny sat on the bench talking away as her little charge was left to amuse herself.
With a little attention Ms. Chatty ramped it up. “Are you E’s daddy?” and then “Where’s E’s Mommy?”
I’d never been asked this before. My mind pinged through a couple options and then I went with the easy answer, “E’s Mommy is far away.”
As soon as it came out I knew it was wrong - wrong for me, wrong for E and wrong for my family. Once it’s out there you can’t go back either. She accepted the answer but I knew I was going to have to do better. I wanted to make it easy for her to give her something that fit into her world.
E is picking up on these cues. He sees the Mommies coming to pick up the kids at daycare. He knows he has 2 dads and he knows they love him. Right now he doesn't know that it's different and I wish I could keep him in this safe little world. I want him to be proud of who he is and to be proud of his dads.
More than that I want to be proud of his dads and this time I think I failed.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Holding Out for Heroes
Poor little blog. I’m sorry I didn’t have time to be witty, creative, or even verbose today. The weather is pretty crappy. I’m catching up on work issues and I have to leave the office early today.
I do leave you with this bit of good news. My favorite new show has been picked up!!
Details below:
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - The first breakout new series of the season, NBC's drama "Heroes," has become the first freshman show to receive a full-season order.
NBC has ordered nine additional episodes of the supernatural saga, bringing its complement to 22. In its first two airings, "Heroes" has averaged 13.5 million viewers. It ties with ABC's "Brothers and Sisters" as the No. 1 new series among adults 18-49, the demographic coveted by advertisers.
The ensemble drama, which chronicles the lives of ordinary people who discover they possess extraordinary abilities, is the top show in the Monday 9 p.m. slot in the demo.
I do leave you with this bit of good news. My favorite new show has been picked up!!
Details below:
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - The first breakout new series of the season, NBC's drama "Heroes," has become the first freshman show to receive a full-season order.
NBC has ordered nine additional episodes of the supernatural saga, bringing its complement to 22. In its first two airings, "Heroes" has averaged 13.5 million viewers. It ties with ABC's "Brothers and Sisters" as the No. 1 new series among adults 18-49, the demographic coveted by advertisers.
The ensemble drama, which chronicles the lives of ordinary people who discover they possess extraordinary abilities, is the top show in the Monday 9 p.m. slot in the demo.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
VULCAN MUMMIES
Now up for auction!!!!
Two prop mummies made from hard carved foam, wrapped in gauze, mounted on wood backboards, both with Vulcan pointed ears, both -- 65in. high -- used as set dressing in the ancient catacombs beneath the Vulcan P'Jem monastery in "The Andorian Incident" in Star Trek: Enterprise (2)
These props started life as ordinary mummies, available for rent at a Hollywood prop rental company. Star Trek makeup artist Michael Westmore modified them with the addition of Vulcan pointed ears, thus transforming them from Earthly mummies to ancient Vulcan priests from a distant world.
800 - 1,200 U.S. Dollars
Well, that seems reasonable.
Two prop mummies made from hard carved foam, wrapped in gauze, mounted on wood backboards, both with Vulcan pointed ears, both -- 65in. high -- used as set dressing in the ancient catacombs beneath the Vulcan P'Jem monastery in "The Andorian Incident" in Star Trek: Enterprise (2)
These props started life as ordinary mummies, available for rent at a Hollywood prop rental company. Star Trek makeup artist Michael Westmore modified them with the addition of Vulcan pointed ears, thus transforming them from Earthly mummies to ancient Vulcan priests from a distant world.
800 - 1,200 U.S. Dollars
Well, that seems reasonable.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
French, music, AND washing
'I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be so proud as all that.'
`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'
`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
- Alice in Wonderland
So, I’m back from NYC. Whatever you think of New York, it’s always interesting. I find myself both enthralled and appalled by the city. The sheer diversity and massive scale of the city is so unlike anything else we have in this country.
I don’t know if I’ve changed or the city has but it seemed friendlier than past visits. When you travel for the government you often get residual anger for other agencies and this trip was no exception. The crazy, angry dude just left me feeling pity. I think the whole rude perception probably germinates from the fact that NYers simply have a lot of ground to cover and have to maneuver around lots of people to get where they need to go (Similarly related to this is the whole DC is unfriendly misnomer. Invariably when gay people reference rudeness here they talk about something that happened in a gay bar. I think most gay bars tend to be a bit stand-offish as people engage their protective shields. But I digress).
I’ll post pictures later. My work has suddenly decided to block my photo site so I can’t access it now. So later you’ll see exciting things like the view from my hotel window, the bustling Union Square with one of my favorite restaurants Zen Palate, a tv show being filmed at Washington Square. To me the quintessential cityscape was the older Asian women serenely performing tai chi while behind them a soccer game full of Latinos noisily runs about.
Also noted, New York gay men are big into the tattoos. There must be some fabulous ink one arm get the second one free deal somewhere.
It doesn’t matter what you do in New York, the city is a stage, the performances are free and you always leave with extras.
`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'
`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
- Alice in Wonderland
So, I’m back from NYC. Whatever you think of New York, it’s always interesting. I find myself both enthralled and appalled by the city. The sheer diversity and massive scale of the city is so unlike anything else we have in this country.
I don’t know if I’ve changed or the city has but it seemed friendlier than past visits. When you travel for the government you often get residual anger for other agencies and this trip was no exception. The crazy, angry dude just left me feeling pity. I think the whole rude perception probably germinates from the fact that NYers simply have a lot of ground to cover and have to maneuver around lots of people to get where they need to go (Similarly related to this is the whole DC is unfriendly misnomer. Invariably when gay people reference rudeness here they talk about something that happened in a gay bar. I think most gay bars tend to be a bit stand-offish as people engage their protective shields. But I digress).
I’ll post pictures later. My work has suddenly decided to block my photo site so I can’t access it now. So later you’ll see exciting things like the view from my hotel window, the bustling Union Square with one of my favorite restaurants Zen Palate, a tv show being filmed at Washington Square. To me the quintessential cityscape was the older Asian women serenely performing tai chi while behind them a soccer game full of Latinos noisily runs about.
Also noted, New York gay men are big into the tattoos. There must be some fabulous ink one arm get the second one free deal somewhere.
It doesn’t matter what you do in New York, the city is a stage, the performances are free and you always leave with extras.
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