Being a parent has pushed me into trying, experiencing new things. Some are things I never dreamed even existed. Some involve messes in places I never even dreamed possible and some are joys that I didn't know were even in the realm of possibility.
E woke up last night from either a coughing jag or a nightmare I don't know. I think as parents we're always tired because we operate with this hyper-alertness that in my case even extends to sleep. Little noises can wake me and trigger a house scan to make sure everyone is where they should be and everyone is safe. E's cries weren't subsiding so I went into his room to calm him down. I rubbed his back as he drifted back to sleep and it hit me how simple and powerful this was. This ability to soothe and take care of your child is almost primal and instinctive and it filled me with peace.
Another first, I made cookies for the school's holiday party. A local singer had come and everyone spread out blankets to hear songs both holiday and toddler-friendly. Picture a room of parents and 30+ kids with singing and dancing. The little ones can't control themselves they have to move, they have to jump, they have to dance. I never imagined that I would find this relaxing but then again I never thought I'd be able to drive on the Beltway either.
At first E is bouncing around the room but the lateness of the hour brings him back to me. L tiptoes in late and E squeals in delight reverting it seems back to infant joy. This is my idea of staying out late now. The two-year-olds have staggered back to their parents' arms as the 3's and 4's keep bouncing away til last call. E's in my lap and L is leaning against me as the lights come back up. It's 7 pm and it feels like 4 am on a Saturday. Now at least when a friend tells me about going clubbing I can now answer yeah, I went out dancing too and it was the best time I've ever had.