As I was passing through Union Station yesterday I bumped into an ex-boyfriend, M, on his way to lunch. I see this guy every couple years so we usually have to catch up on big life changes. Last time we spoke L and I were talking about having kids but hadn’t quite moved ahead yet. Both of us had moved out to Maryland, one of us had started a family. Upon hearing the news he was quick to tell me that he did not want kids.
I’ve found the kid gene to be one of the strongest traits. Very rarely do I hear a vague interest from someone. The funny thing is when people tell me they don’t want to have kids the response ranges between accusatory and apologetic. As much as I’d like gay people to have more kids because it would make my life easier and lord knows the world needs more tolerant people, I’m really not recruiting.
Pre-boo I used to get that question a lot, why do you want to have kids. Heck, I’ve been psychologically evaluated on the subject. The answer… I’ve always wanted kids. It was always in my life plan. I buried it for a while as went through the coming out process and readjusted my goals as I stumbled through some gawdawful relationships. How could I take care of someone else if I couldn’t even take care of myself? So I set up some broad parameters before I would consider the kid subject. Fast forward some 15 years and what do you know?
It seems so long ago when I dated M. Hell it seems like another person that dated M. Now, it’s like my life is split in two. There is the time before and there is now filled with laughs, games, hugs, and lots of love. What will happen next in our little family? I have no clue, but I can’t wait to find out.