Poink!

My family is visiting this week so I'm busy running around being the happy hostess.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.


p.s. poink is the sound an invisible internet friend makes when they disappear.

Que Sera, Sera

Steve over at The Hygiene Chronicles tagged me so here I'm detagging:

What was your biggest surprise when you became a parent: I think it’s how much I love the little guy. I remember talking to one parent and he said he loves his partner but he loooooves his son. I didn’t really get that until E came along. If I’m driving around in my car and he’s not in the backseat I have the feeling like I’m missing something. It’s that did I turn the stove off sort of thing. I have to will myself not to think about him sometimes.

Name some things you vowed you'd never do, but find yourself doing now: letting E watch TV. I thought we’d be TV free but I found there are days that I have to hear the news or need to put on Jack’s Big Music Show so I can sit and read the newspaper. It’s getting easier now that E can respond but for a while it felt like I was just talking at E and that’s hard to sustain.

What's the one thing you thought you would do, but actually don't: Go out more often. We’ve had trouble finding a babysitter we can rely on so L and I haven’t had many dates. I feel like a bad partner now and then. Fortunately I’m married to a wonderful man and I know we are doing the best we can.

Jet Boy

A few weeks ago we visited the Udvar-Hazy Center of the National Air and Space Museum. It’s a huge hangar full of airplanes and space exploration vehicles. For Friday I’ll share a few pics from our visit.






Planes! Planes! Everywhere!



There amongst all the planes sits the Enola Gay. It was moved out here partly I think to avoid the controversy from its downtown exhibition. It’s hard to capture the complexity of this symbol on a plaque.





He prefers to walk now which makes outings very interesting these days.




Coolest part of the exhibit I think.



Death Star Model from Star Wars for the geek in us all.



I just liked the colors on this plane. Pretty.



Death ray! Or something. Again, I thought it was pretty.



Best plane name in the museum! Can you read it?

One enchanted evening

I just avoided the news last night. The Virginia Tech shooting is such a horrible, horrible tragedy. It makes no sense. My prayers are with the families and loved ones involved in this massacre.

The strange and wonderful thing was that last night E was in the best mood all evening long that I think I’ve ever seen. He was laughing and playing and giggling all evening until bedtime. He’s becoming more and more verbal and maybe that’s helping him to express himself. Whatever it was I hope it continues.

He likes to do this fake sneeze where he ah-choos and a hat falls off his head. So last night he put the washcloth on his head and “sneezed.” Well he misjudged the distance and he completely dunked his face into the water. I braced for bawling and tensed up as he lifted his head. Water was dripping off his face, his eyes were closed and mouth open…. And then he started laughing uncontrollably. Everything was funny last night. We all laughed and played all evening long.

It was a perfect evening. I’ll save this one for a long time.

Between a rock and a hard place

Picking E up at school he wants to run down the hallway to get a drink of water. The fountain is fascinating as he noisily slurps away. The fan whirs to life in the back. “Fan! Fan!” He looks to me for confirmation. Yes, yes my boy now let’s get going. The traffic is getting worse out there.

In the driveway the rocks are fascinating. I try to put his coat on and he squirms and wiggles to reach the stones at his feet. C’mon E. I’m cold. Let’s get inside.

Just before bedtime, he lines up all his toys on the edge of the bathtub knocking them into the water. “Cup! Cup!” he asks as I try to wash his hair. Just one pour and then we have to get ready for bed.



The alarm clock rings and I rush into work, turn my computer on, and look around. There’s row upon row of grey cubicle walls. What I wouldn’t give for a little hand to tug me down to pick up some rocks.

The language of life

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was worried about hubs more than me. I warned him you have to watch it around L, he’s like a little sponge these days.

I was in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready, E was playing on the floor, and Nemo was one more obstacle maneuvering his way into my path like a large brown wall. Turning around again to find Nemo in my way, it came out like a little pressure release valve. I then hear this little voice behind me. “Dammit!” Don’t react. Keep moving. Sing a little song. Whew. It could have been much worse that’s for sure.

I thought his first naughty word happened back in March. For a while we thought he was saying Dummy. There was such purpose to the word we knew it was something. Both of us were tensing up thinking where did this come from? It was a week later before we realized it was a kid’s name in his class.

We’re working on more positive phrases too. He’s becoming a very expressive child, which is wonderful when it’s used for the power of good. Of course he has to keep us guessing too.

“Do you love Daddy?”

“I love Daddy.”

“Do you love Papa?”

“ I love Papa.” Aaaaw. How about Nemo?

“Do you love Nemo?“

“I love Nemo.”

Two beats later, unprompted we hear.

“I love TV.”

Yes, you are indeed my son.

Well, that's a nightmare

Quick update:

You can never plan for illness or car repair. Sunday morning it hit me with vengeance. My stomach started cramping up and I lost it all. At first I thought it was food poisoning but then when L picked it up I knew it was more. This was the first time I’ve ever had the stomach flu. It’s a nasty little monster. After 3 days I was able to eat some toast and a bit of rice yesterday.

My big fear is that I’ll pass it on to E. I’m trying to keep my hands washed and watch his food preparation. So far, he’s faring ok. I hate being sick. It certainly gives you new appreciation for your bodily functions. Oh, so that’s what my intestines have been doing all these years.

Happy health you all

Frikkin Laser Beams!

Some news items are just little gifts to make you smile:


Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Friendly Neighborhood Merchandise

I’ve never been one for branding or logos. I always thought it was odd when people paid more to have a big advertisement on their sleeve or festooned across their back. That whole conspicuous consumption really gives me the heebie jeebies.

I’ve been trying to take this same aesthetic into the toys and clothing that I buy for E. It’s really kind of ridiculous to buy expensive clothing for children anyway because you are looking at one or maybe two seasons of wear anyway. It’s getting more and more difficult to keep this up though especially with toys. Wow, everything seems to be a tie-in to a movie or a tv show. Disney is the master. The stores are flooded with all things Disney. Right now in the toddler set, a fleet of Cars-related stuff is racing through. The shirts, pants, toys and all things Cars are there for your selection.

I’ve never seen Cars and I’m sure it’s a fine movie but the sheer volume of the Cars stuff is overwhelming. There’s really no educational or skills building in anything I’ve seen. Sure there is value in imaginative play but any household item can be great fun for a kid.

So, I’ve given up. I’ve decided to steer E towards the commercial products that assuage my guilt at least a little. The Sesame Street products are all wonderful and all kids seem to gravitate towards Elmo. I’ve always liked Spiderman and with that movie success there’s lots of Spiderman goods at younger and younger ages. I’m still looking for the blocks, the puzzles, and the games because I know soon enough E will be making the decisions anyway.

Standing beneath an amber moon

There are very dire warnings coming from various international bodies concerning adopting from Guatemala. It’s disappointing to see the turmoil that is coming for Guatemala and its children.

Meanwhile, I’ve heard some interesting possibilities about adopting from Brazil. I’m putting a call out to people if you know anyone who’s adopted from Brazil or if you are similarly interested and I can be of any help please contact me. It seems hopeful.

COLAGE and EQMD event

I know some of these events won't be of interest to all outside this area but I'd like to promote gay family related events when I can. Cheers, my friends.

Howard County PFLAG Panel Discussion on LGBT Parented Families
Co-Sponsored by COLAGE and EQMD
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007, 7:30 PM
Owen Brown Interfaith Center
7246 Cradlerock Way
Columbia, Md. 21045

Have you wondered what its like to have an LGBT parent? What are the real experiences of LGBT families- both the parents and the children in them? What have they encountered in the schools? While shopping? What has been reaction of family members? Neighbors? Co-workers? Has it strengthened or diminished the relationship? What are the many ways that LGBT families are created?
These questions and many others will be discussed. Youth and adults with LGBT Parents are warmly welcome to attend!

This Panel will also include a screening of the COLAGE Youth Produced Film- In My Shoes: Stories of Youth with LGBT Parents. This 30 minute documentary was created BY youth to profile the experiences of youth with LGBT parents.

See it in the Boy's Eyes

Thanks to a long-ago mention by Gayborhood Gringo, I picked up a copy of Jamelia’s Thank You and Walk with Me albums. Why this woman isn’t a big hit over here is beyond me. She is a singles machine and perfect for summer time cruising. Check her out!

I’m packing up my desk as my office prepares to move. I’m purging vast quantities of paper. It’s liberating, I tell ya. Now, I only wish that I could do the same thing at home. Need to finish up a bit more packing and then I’m out of here. Thanks god it looks like we’ll have a gloriously warm weekend! Get outside and enjoy my friends!

Union Station

As I was passing through Union Station yesterday I bumped into an ex-boyfriend, M, on his way to lunch. I see this guy every couple years so we usually have to catch up on big life changes. Last time we spoke L and I were talking about having kids but hadn’t quite moved ahead yet. Both of us had moved out to Maryland, one of us had started a family. Upon hearing the news he was quick to tell me that he did not want kids.

I’ve found the kid gene to be one of the strongest traits. Very rarely do I hear a vague interest from someone. The funny thing is when people tell me they don’t want to have kids the response ranges between accusatory and apologetic. As much as I’d like gay people to have more kids because it would make my life easier and lord knows the world needs more tolerant people, I’m really not recruiting.

Pre-boo I used to get that question a lot, why do you want to have kids. Heck, I’ve been psychologically evaluated on the subject. The answer… I’ve always wanted kids. It was always in my life plan. I buried it for a while as went through the coming out process and readjusted my goals as I stumbled through some gawdawful relationships. How could I take care of someone else if I couldn’t even take care of myself? So I set up some broad parameters before I would consider the kid subject. Fast forward some 15 years and what do you know?

It seems so long ago when I dated M. Hell it seems like another person that dated M. Now, it’s like my life is split in two. There is the time before and there is now filled with laughs, games, hugs, and lots of love. What will happen next in our little family? I have no clue, but I can’t wait to find out.

hmmm

Have you ever noticed that when someone sends you an email with the subject line "Too Funny" it never is?

Snip!

So my econ class finished up this morning with the big final. It was pretty much a nightmare and I simply hope for a passing grade. I’m long past the need to receive an A and will be quite satisfied with a B.

I finished up my test and reviewed the answers, hoping some glaring error would rise up saying, “Fix me! Fix me!” A few seats away a girl had similarly finished and was looking over her test. I hear her rumbling through her purse for something as I kept studying my test. I then hear this snip snip noise. I look over and she’s clipping her fingernails. Eeew. Is it just me or is this incredibly tacky? I didn’t look long to see if she was catching them in her purse or letting them fall to the floor.

Oy.

Happy Family

HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam — Actress Angelina Jolie picked up a 3-year-old boy from a Vietnamese orphanage Thursday and headed to a ceremony where she was expected to adopt the child, officials said. The star, who arrived in Ho Chi Minh City on Wednesday night, carried the boy from the Tam Binh orphanage to a waiting Toyota van. They were expected at the Department of Justice in Ho Chi Minh City where an official ceremony will be carried out to complete the adoption.

...

Good for her. I know the current thinking is that foreign adoptions are the latest fad but Jolie doesn’t seem to be seeking out the attention for her little family. We see little Maddox happily tagging along to meet his brother.

There seems to be an underlying prejudice that families created through adoption are done with less thought or are somehow suspect because of the manner in which they are created. Under the celebrity births announcements in Entertainment Weekly I rarely see questions about why they are having kids.

Let’s allow the Jolie's a little space and give them the room to grow. I think this cross-cultural family is a beautiful thing and I wish them much love.

Common Grinds

From the President’s speech in Guatemala:

“We also talked about adoption. I don't know if my fellow citizens understand this, but there are a lot of U.S. families who adopt babies from Guatemala, thousands of babies. This year it is very important for the United States and Guatemala to implement the Hague Convention on adoptions to help protect children and families during the adoption process. We found common ground on that issue. And I appreciate your strong stand, Mr. President, and I assured the President we would follow through, ourselves. “

So, in summary, um, what? Lots of families adopt from Guatemala. We are implementing the Hague Convention and we agreed on lots of things. Thanks for that insight. I’m sure that all the families who are in process nervously awaiting news of their children’s arrival will take great comfort in your agreement.

We would love to go back to Guatemala but the uncertainty surrounding this treaty is too great. The nightmare situation is accepting the referral of the child and then you find out that all placements stop while they work out the terms of the implementation. No one has any idea what will happen. If Vietnam is any indication then the country could close for 2-3 years.

I understand the intent of the agreement but frankly I think it is the families who suffer while the governments work out the terms. The Guatemalan and American families deserve more than platitudes, they deserve concrete examples of the steps the US government will take to ensure that families are reunited as quickly as possible.

I've got one dollah any other bids?

My blog is worth $15,807.12.
How much is your blog worth?

Well, that would certainly defray some of those adoption costs where do I sign up?

Rainbow Families Gay Parenting Conference in MD

From the Board:

We are hard at work preparing for the Rainbow Families DC 2007 Parenting Conference – FAMILIES LIKE OURS: GROWING. STRONGER. TOGETHER – which will be held on Saturday, April 28th, at the Takoma Park Middle School. The program is looking better and better each day and the committee working on the Kids’ Camp is putting together a range of activities that I’m sure will delight our children. Mark your calendars – registration materials will be available in the next few weeks!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Is there a more ignoble form of communication than the email rejection notice? I’ve become immune to the sting and can now marvel at the sheer audacity of it. Electronic communication can be wondrous as in letting me meet all you fabulous people and it can be as harsh as hitting the enter button to let someone know they didn’t get a job.

I look for the teachable moments from these types of events and I’ve learned a helluva lot. The amount of time that the applicant has invested in the position should be returned in kind. If I’ve taken an hour and a half out of my schedule the least you can do is call and leave a voice mail telling me I didn’t get the job. I don’t even mind if you call after hours, knowing I wouldn’t be at my desk, to give me the news.

Bottom line I think comes down to respect. I go forward thinking about how I’d like to be treated when the positions are reversed. As a manager I’ll value the time of my co-worker. It comes back to how can I make my workplace a better place as an employee and as a person? It’s easy to get into a transactional type of relationship at work but are we better off? I’ll remember this and I’ll do better. Thank you!