Hopin, Wishin, Waitin

I completed the draft review of my homestudy and sent it back to the social worker for corrections. Once I receive that I'll send the doc to my placement agency for review. I hate this part, waiting for others to complete a task. I'm afraid I had a bit of a meltdown a couple nights ago, arguing with L that we need to get things moving. I know the long wait is coming and so I want all the paperwork done. We haven't even begun the authentication process yet. There's no point starting until the docs are all at a common point.


The medical doc is done and I have my police clearances so really it's the homestudy that is holding things up, just like last time. Coincidentally it's also happening around the holidays. I wanted to be done in November. Ka-plow. Now, I'm looking at the end of December for dossier completion.

Now, I'm reading all I can about Vietnam adoption too. I think I'm better at filtering out the alarmists at this point. The process takes a certain amount of protectiveness. You take in as much as you can ignore the doom and focus on the positive. It's going to be a long night moon. I have my little man and he needs me. The rest is up to the universe.

Razzle Dazzle

It makes sense that this fabulous creature would appear on the trippy kids' show Yo Gabba Gabba. I've seen every episode many many times now. You remember her from the I'm the Internet psa fighting for net neutrality.

So, here's Leslie and the Ly's video. What am I thankful for? Gold Glittery Jumpsuits.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Game over, water boy

I've always hated Adam Sandler. Back when he was on Saturday Night Live he was just mildly annoying. I could fast forward through his bits to get to the good parts. His idea of a skit was Opera Guy? I mean come on. My son comes up with better routines tooting in the bathtub.

Then Chuck and Larry comes out. No I haven't seen it but I don't need to watch Hostel to know how bad that is either. In the preview the hot chick asks Chuck/Larry to feel her up. I can tell you that supermodels don't run up to me asking for body checks.

Now, I find out Sandler is contributing money to the Guiliani campaign. Sweet Jesus. I think it was Biden who pointed out that Guiliani thinks 9/11 is a verb. Congratulations Sandler you've out-douched yourself.

/ Rant over

Book Learnin!

This can't be right. I mean really, I'm this close to talking about boogies.

Don't forget your shovel!

I only recently discovered this song and I love it so much. I picked up the album on itunes and it's quite good. It's on heavy rotation in my car right now.




JCB song - Nizlopi

We met with our social worker and he has this ability to unnerve me. Perhaps I'm naive but I don't usually focus on the problems of adoption. It's probably a coping mechanism I admit but I want to look at the steps we need to take to get from here to there and back again. We've weighed the risks and looked at all the options we could and made our decision.

I do feel this is right and that the universe has pointed us in our current direction.

sigh.

I'll feel better once all this paperwork is completed.

November reign

Hello all!

I'm still around just very busy. We had several halloween parties to go to and there's been a rash of baby showers and birthday parties.

Also, I've been finishing up the domestic adoption paperwork. The Vietnam dossier is much simpler than Guatemala. I hope to get that knocked out in November. I wish I were more organized but this sort of rigid paperwork sends me into hysteria and checking and rechecking in a big loop.

I must get back to work. My project calls and there are forms to fill out!

Cheers!

I had to turn word verification back on because I started getting bombed by spam. Sorry. Curse you spammers.

A Hole is to Dig

When it rains, well if it ever will rain, I'm sure it will pour. A small trickle in front of our house became a torrent of water before long. After calls to the county to come and inspect the leak and calls to various plumbers we discovered our water line needed to be replaced. < gulp and ka-ching >

On the positive side, E was thrilled with the equipment in front of our house and marvelled at the big hole in our yard. You realize how cushioned we are in our modernity when events like that take you out of your comfort zone. E was very confused when I kept all his bathwater in the tub and we stockpiled the water on the kitchen counter.

I wonder what life will be like though in another 20 years with global warming ticking away. We have another freakishly warm day here, up in the high 70s. October shouldn't be short-sleeve weather. It's unnatural.

We have been able to enjoy our porch much longer than I expected though. Eating outside is one of the finest, simplest pleasures.

Have a glass of wine, cheers!

I am, I am Superman.

Ah, fall is in the air finally. The nights are crisp and brilliant. I no longer have to wrestle with the comforter on or off and can snuggle in all cozy under the weight.

We did our costume shopping for Halloween. It’s so much fun watching him experience all these rituals through his new and happy eyes. It was difficult to get him to focus on the costumes with all the dancing skeletons and cackling witches. I think I er he made the right decision as he bounded across the house, leaping the ottoman in a single bound:




Up, Up, and Away!

It's been a busy week at work and home. I think I'm nearly finished with the US documents and hopefully soon I'll get the dossier requirements for Vietnam. Oh how I can't wait to start that.

The State Department is now telling people not to adopt from Guatemala in pretty blunt language. My heart breaks for all those children and the families of Guat who can't take care of them. I will always have a special place for them. We'll be back one day and I hope to instill pride in E for his homeland even though it's far from what I think of the place and my own country at the moment.

Moonatoni

E has been playing pretend kitchen and cooking for a while now. He'll even ask to watch cooking shows at times (maybe he'll be our little top chef?). Recently we developed a game where I'll catch the moon and give it to him. Then he'll give me the moon back. I'll grab a star and give it to him. Yesterday we were walking back from getting his hair cut and I reached up, caught the moon, and handed it to him. He looked at his hand for a second then took a big bite out of the moon. I laughed, first time I'd seen this. You ate the moon! What did it taste like? His response: "really, really, really good pasta."

hee

Stardust

This picture is too perfect.

grabbed from my new favorite site, Found Magazine

collecting moments one by one

It seems there's always been songs that have helped me through difficult times or made summers happier seasons. It's fun now to have E bringing music to me, knowing that these new associations will take me back to the little dude asking questions and giving hugs.

As soon as he heard this song E loved it. What can I say he's got great taste. I'll buckle him up and he'll ask for the "Oh oh" song. This will always be the summer of 2007...



Have a great weekend my friends!

Traditional family structure - Maryland style

On the same day that gay families across the state were denied their civil rights this story appeared:

“A Maryland mother was arraigned on drug and child abuse charges after police said she threw her 6-month-old child across a room at a police officer. According to court documents, the incident happened in late July at a home on Inverness Drive in Cecil County.

According to court documents, state troopers were called to a trailer on Inverness Drive to check on the well-being of Evelyn Doninger, 23, of North East, and her two small children.

Officers said that they smelled a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the home, so they told Doninger they would be coming in. The court documents said that Doninger told police they had no right to enter her home.

Police said that they noticed a hand -rolled cigarette and a bag with what they believed was marijuana in it, as well as various drug paraphernalia. They also said they found two men inside the home and two children -- a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. Police said they told Doninger she was being arrested. The documents said she became "incredibly irate," stood up from a chair and threw the 6-month-old at least 5 feet at one of the troopers.

The child struck the trooper's chest and he caught the baby just before it hit the floor, according to court documents. Doninger then shoved the trooper, striking both him and the baby.”


If you recall the judges declared “that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born” Let’s see Doninger did give birth to these children, check. Traditional family structure hmm let’s see there’s two men in the trailer surely one of them is the father. It’s so nice to see the procreating traditional family prospering in the state of Maryland.

“Police said that the 6-month-old baby is doing fine. Doninger has since been released from jail. She is facing eight different child abuse and drug charges.”

Well hopefully she’ll still be able to get married even if she faces jail time…

What does this Post editorial have to say: If marriage is solely a matter of giving legal sanction to procreation, then what to make of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in a Missouri case granting the right to marry to prison inmates who had zero prospect of procreating? In that 1987 case, the court said marriage was a fundamental human right--kiddies notwithstanding. The majority in the Maryland case acknowledged that the prison case blows something of a hole in their procreation argument but took refuge in a simple declaration that they just don't care: The Missouri case just "does not persuade us," the court ruled.

Oh whew, I’m relieved. The wedding planning may be a b*tch from jail but luckily she will still be able to marry the little tosser’s father if she hasn’t already found the time between rolling those joints. Hey! They’re not going to roll themselves people.

Some of my anger has dissipated after the four judges in Maryland denied our civil rights. I’ve processed it and I’m moving on. If this is the sacred institution they want for themselves let them have it. They’re doing fine on their own in screwing it up.

Let’s have our civil unions. Let’s make them the most glorious, loving institutions the state has ever seen. We need to protect our families and our loved ones from capricious small minds. I hope the Doninger children find a loving and healthy home to grow up in. If that household happens to have two dads or two moms those kids won’t care. They will be wanted and they will be loved and sometimes that’s all a child needs.

This is a very sad day for Marylanders

Maryland High Court Upholds Same-Sex Marriage Ban

BY ERIC RICH AND JOHN WAGNER

WASHINGTON POST STAFF WRITERS

Maryland's highest court upheld the state's ban on gay marriage in a ruling issued this morning, reversing a lower court decision and turning back the most formidable legal challenge to date of the controversial law.

The Court of Appeals held that the ban does not, as the American Civil Liberties Union had argued, violate the state constitution. The ruling cannot be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, the plaintiffs said when the case was argued in December.

The court took the case after the state appealed a ruling by Baltimore Circuit Court Judge M. Brooke Murdock, who held in January that the 1973 law banning same-sex marriage is discriminatory and "cannot withstand constitutional challenge." In anticipation of an appeal, Murdock stayed her decision when she announced it.

The court's ruling today reverses Murdock's decision, which thrust Maryland into a debate that has raged across the country at least since 1996, when Congress passed a law barring federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allowing states to do the same.

In an opinion signed by four judges, Judge Glenn T. Harrell Jr., citing a Supreme Court holding on judicial restraint, wrote that, absent evidence of discrimination, "judicial intervention is generally unwarranted no matter how unwisely we may think a political branch has acted."

"In declaring that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born are related reasonably to the means employed by [the law banning same-sex marriage], our opinion should by no means be read to imply that the General Assembly may not grant and recognize for homosexual persons civil unions or the reasons," wrote Harrell, who is retired from the court but participated in the decision because he was a member when the case was argued.

Harrell was joined by judges Dale R. Cathell, Clayton Greene Jr. and Alan M. Wilner. A fifth judge, Irma S. Raker, concurred in part and dissented in part. Chief Judge Robert M. Bell and Lynne A. Battaglia wrote dissenting opinions.

Gay rights advocates called the ruling a surprise and disappointment given that several states, including Massachusetts and New Jersey, have struck down marriage bans. But they said the case galvanized not only the gay community but a wider group of Maryland citizens--and pledged to push the General Assembly to take up a gay marriage bill when the legislature convenes in January.

"We will be pushing for full, legal equality in the Maryland General Assembly," said Dan Furmansky,executive director of Equality Maryland. "This is a social justice struggle. Eventually, Maryland will have civil marriage equality for same-sex couples. It's inevitable."

Leading lawmakers said the gay rights advocates will likely face an uphill battle in Annapolis, particularly in the Senate, where a bill would be subject to a filibuster.

"It would be a tall order for the legislature to overturn existing law ... but it's not out of the realm of possibility," said Sen. Brian E. Frosh (D-Montgomery), chairman of the Judicial Proceedings Committee.

In past years, both efforts to legalize gay marriage and efforts to write a ban into the Constitution have not gained much traction.

Friiiiiday

Hello weekend. It's a marvelous looking forecast. I can't wait to get outside and soak up these perfect temperatures.

Work is keeping me busy but I've managed to complete my physical and get our house inspected so we've been checked inside and out. Another wave of documents will be coming soon. I had the wind taken out of me a bit when we had to switch agencies but I think I'll get momentum going again very soon.

Adorable E update. When he doesn't know the name of something he'll say "That leetle thing." I don't know where the little came from but it makes me smile when I hear it. Sometimes I make him say it twice just so I can hear it. No matter the size it's always "that leetle thing."

Enjoy yourselves my friends, I wish you well.

Under the long night moon

The adoption equation is a funny thing. The marketplace values ethnicities and gender with wait times and fees. Girls it seems are a hot commodity. We had toyed with the idea of trying for a girl and my mother is desperate for a granddaughter. Now, that seems as likely as getting a unicorn. So that decision is made. It’s a little heartbreaking to think that someone might "settle" for a son instead of a daughter. I had thought it might be interesting to bring that female energy into the house, but it's not meant to be.

So, we’re looking at a house full of dudes - two crazy, energetic puppies rumbling through the house. I love the spirit and life that kids bring to a home. When I saw our house I knew this was a place for a family. The yard was made for soccer balls, the tree in the back for climbing.

Somewhere out there is my son. He’s waiting to be born. He’s a small little delicate thing. I imagine his mother stopping to rest, knowing that something is different. Does she know he’s there? I send my love far away across the world and pray for him and his family that was and his family to be.


We're waiting for you....

All the boys say...

I don’t remember playing No Doubt’s Hey Baby to E but somehow it’s become stuck in his wonderful jangly head. At odd moments he’ll start singing “Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey! Girls say, Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey!” It’s hysterical. Fortunately he stops at the chorus.

I still can’t remember saying it. Perhaps I sing it without knowledge and like my oy’s and dude’s he’s picked it up there.

Could be worse, I have been known to sing a Missy Elliot now and then.

Miles to go

Well we have the extra seat in this family car and now we just have to figure out which road to take and we'll find our little one waiting out there somewhere. Like E says all the time now, "What happened?" he or she will say. The stars seem to be pointing us to Vietnam.

I’d gathered information on V in the past so I have some familiarity with the country and process but the reality of it and logistics are another matter. I’m continuing getting my homestudy ready. The urgency is gone now as I look around at what the new requirements are and wrap my head around this sudden jolt.

The new job is going well. I’m trying to stay focused while here and not let all the little stressors seep in.

We said goodbye to E’s old school. It was a touching and surreal experience, kind of E’s first graduation. He was oblivious to the whole situation and couldn’t understand why I was having him hug all his teachers. I’d hand him over and he’d immediately want to come back to me.

I get a bit paranoid during the referral and placement process so who knows… this blog may disappear at some point. I wish I could make it password protected for a bit.

Details to follow. It feels like someone has thrown our map out the window but we’ll the car back on the right road. E says he needs to go potty so time to pull over. We’ll catch up with you all later.