Tuesday, September 05, 2006

the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape

Normally I don't pass along joke emails but this is feeling particularly relevant today. Plus, it's my blog, mwahaha!

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
 a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
 few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
 12.) Super glue is forever.
 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
 20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.    


RIC said...

(lol&lol!) What a tight learning process, huh, Brian? I do wish you all the best!
Not even a PhD in child psychology would ever be enough. So relax, I guess...

Steve said...

ha! - I think I experienced most of those things when I was little.. ahh the memories..

I don't know what it is with little boys and ceiling fans - I know we used to put our hands in them to make them stop - stupid..

and the making the cat dizzy - check on that too - but luckily there was no barf.

cats like to barf for no reason at all - just to ruin the rug - believe me - I know..

dan said...

my first thought was , really? I want to try that with the brake fluid......

The Brian said...

I challenge you to try it Dan!

Mainly because I want to know to.

Green Dads said...

That's so funny!

We've personally experienced #3 several times recently. Usually with a shreik that will pierce your eardrums. The funniest time though, was when our 3 year old tried to take the check. When we asked him how he was going to pay it with no money, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "I need money!" causing the whole restaurant to turn and look.

Kayo Kid said...

Thank you so much for this post. I laughed for a really long time. I was one of those boys who were always trying to defy the laws of physics (back when parental supervision was more lax) and now my little nephews doing the same things. I especially love #15.

The Brian said...

hey kayo kid, thanks for posting and welcome


Brett said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.