Jon & Kate please go work it out far from the cameras. I don't think anyone is getting any help from seeing this train heading for that cliff.

Overheard on the elevator this morning, "I woke up and thought I need some Cheeto's."



Cheetos / Cheeto's hmmm neither one looks right. I like the initial Cheeto bite but then I never feel like I can get that damn Cheeto smell off my fingers and the hours old Cheeto smell is muy unappetizing.

I probably shouldn't buy the 100 calorie snack packs and then proceed to eat them 3 at a sitting.

better and best

By the way, I now know how to label something if it's better than awesome: it's SUPER awesome... from my son.

Baghdaddy Brouhaha

Interesting development in Baghdad:

Change has certainly come to Baghdad. And it appears that includes the U.S. Embassy, where they are holding what the invitation says is the first-ever U.S. Embassy Gay Pride Theme Party next Friday at Baghdaddy's, which is the embassy employee association's pub.

"Come celebrate the start of Summer with color . . . and in costume!" the May 10 invitation says. "Dress in drag or as a gay icon. All are welcome." The invitation was attached to what was called an "All Hands Alerts" e-mail.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/21/AR2009052104048.html?hpid=news-col-blog



I'm not sure if this is bravery or foolishness but props to the souls who put this on.

Elmo is a professional!

Ricky Gervais stops by Sesame Street and things go a bit awry.

American Idol

Note to AI contestants: Saying "I had a good time." is not a valid excuse for screwing up a performance.

Oh Tatianna. When Paula Abdul is giving you advice, your problems are much bigger than getting kicked off a game show.

Let them eat early boy

I now know why parents of toddlers always seem so frazzled. It's those innocent looking kids. They drive you insane. You find yourself acting in certifiably crazy ways. Ways that as a childless person you would have tut-tutted over in a crowded restaurant.

On my Insane Bunny Diet, I'm restricted to the number of things that I can eat. I follow the IBD rules and everybody is happy, but.... I cherish my food. I'll probably need to reevaluate this relationship at some point. I've taken to eating just my salad with E and saving my entree for after he goes to bed. You see he always asks for whatever I'm eating. Normally we'd be eating the same things but since he has the metabolism of a hummingbird I have to cut waaaay back.

So I try to guesstimate how much and which foods he's going to ask for. After a particularly bad day with much stress I found myself yelling about a cherry tomato. "No, it's my tomato! Stop asking me for every tomato! Eat your spaghetti!"

Rational self says "It's just one tomato. Give it to him."

Hungry self over-rules. "No, he's always taking my food. Let him make his own damn dinner. It's bad enough I have to cook all this food I can't eat."



His garden this summer is going to be filled with a certain plant....

Bunny fever

My how time flies when you're travelling, working like a small slightly hungry puppy and starting a diet.

YES, I'm dieting and I'm not happy that it's come to this but the distinct lack of exercise has resulted in a waistline expanding like the deficit. There are only so many things that you can do with a salad and a list of healthy vegetables. I'm trying different combinations:

Lettuce with radish and snow pea
Spinach with radish and sprouts
Spinach with sprouts and cucumbers
spinach with lettuce and snow pea

repeat over and over and over

Curse this metabolism and my lack of willpower

happily holidays

May you all have a most joyous and wonderful holiday season.

Love to you and yours.

B and the B family

Tamales in the mf'ing white house

I was watching the HGTV White House Xmas Special (yes, I am THAT gay) and the designers were complimenting Mz. Bush on her selection of red, white, and blue for the white house decorations and I'm thinking could a first lady BE any more lazy?

She merely had to flop her gin-soaked head to one side, look at a flag and slur "Red, white, and blue." The garland was festooned with silver eagles. Silver Eagles! WTF? That's not Christmasy. On Christmas Eve they have their Texas traditional tamales. Tamales! The Bushes aren't Texan or Mexican, but I'm guessing the WH chefs balked at pigs in a blanket.

Then today I saw on CNN they were showing Laura next to Michelle Obama and it just made me so happy all over again to know that we'll have a talented gorgeous un-Joker like lady in the White House... and you can bet she won't be picking red, white and blue and tamales next year.

Get ready to deeeeyance!

On Moooondays I never go to work!

My basement was partially flooded this morning, I got a speeding ticket on the way into work, my son is acting like Bruce Lee hitting all of his classmates, I'm on antibiotics for my sinus infection, and I have a paper cut on my finger that hurts every time I type the letter "a" ow.

How's your day going???!

greatful

Things upon which I bestow thanks:

my husband's hug after the first snooze button hit
my son's laugh when it gets out of control and he can't stop
pop-tarts
Hugh Jackman
the Ting-Tings, Mates of State, Jack Johnson, Lisa Loeb's kid's music
crayons
sarah connor chronicles
Randy getting voted out on Survivor
a president who inspires
Wall-E
Costa Rica
Paul Rudd
christmas lights
cinnamon hazelnut coffee
having a job
the day after thanksgiving when all the work is done and you can just relax
locoroco
the steps of the Lincoln Memorial

Fish Murder

I've been setting up a tropical fish tank and along the way I've learned some valuable lessons.

Do not put Gourami and little tetras in the same tank. In the space of a day and a half all five of my cute little guys have disappeared. I'm now looking at this large silvery murderer happily swimming around my beautiful tank. I've never wished death upon a fish before but now I'm rethinking my fish position.

Mom, I've got something to tell you

beep beep

Long-distance message

Haven't been feeling too bloggy of late. With the final nail going in the coffin of the Vietnam adoptions, it's left me a bit bereft? bereaved? bewitched?

This blah will no doubt go away once the holidays start kicking in. It appears that we will be remaining a trio. This is good and bad. I'm still processing all the ramifications.

So, something will return at a later date. Perhaps it will be a much fluffier content to keep myself out of the doldrums.

Much peace to you and yours

Remember to vote!

Obamanos!

Action Alert!

Been busy at work and home but wanted to remind everyone to get out there and support Barack!

If you have the time, volunteer.

If you have the money, donate.

and above all VOTE! The stakes couldn't be higher, our economy, our lives, our future at stake.

Barack the vote!

Ta

going on vacation my friends, be back in a week or so! I'll have a drink for all of you.

The most important meal of the day

Most days I have cereal for breakfast here at work so I pick up my bowl and look at the bottom and think hmm that's curious it looks like honey. So I dip my finger in and taste it. Gak! What is that? It tastes kind of bitter so what do I do? I think I'll just swallow (no jokes plz). HOLY MOTHER it freakin burns! Then I realize it's dishwashing soap that I put in the bowl but forget to wash out yesterday afternoon.

Now I've got this chemical burn in my throat that is wafting up into my nostrils. This is a foul, foul taste and smell. I get up to go to the bathroom and then a wave of nausea hits me. I look around quickly weighing my vomiting options, trash can seems like the idea. I start to retch but fortunately nothing comes up. I cough/stagger to the bathroom and start sucking in water and spitting it out and gargling trying to get this taste out of my mouth.

So, now I sit here with what feels like a burn in the back of my throat, constantly having to clear throat and swallowing....

and I've got a headache. Fortunately the office is mostly empty now and I'll pretend like nothing happened.

How was your morning?

We've been trying to teach the E-man different ways to express himself when he gets frustrated. Our current favorite is for him to hold one hand up and say "Aye Carumba!" It hasn't exactly worked yet but it's fun watching him practice "Aye Carumba!"

Also I've been working on laser beam eyes where we squint and then blast each other a la Cyclops.

This is also the point where I wonder if households with moms do these sorts of things.

Hello, hello dear little blog. So sorry you've been neglected but I have been thinking about you. Sadly I've been wrapped in not much but reality TV.... So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, I'm even brave enough to admit.... I Survived a Japanese Game Show. / hangs head in shame for penance

Summer is ending, the vegetables are growing, the boy is dancing and the flowers are blooming.

Life is good.

mwah

Swing Swang Swung

Last weekend, I was at a playground with E and there were 3 girls playing, I think they said their ages were 5, 6, and 8 and no parent was around. E was in the bucket swing and the 5 year old asked the 6 year old to put her in the other bucket swing (keep in mind, she's a big five like a littel Jennifer Hudson and I was a bit worried about whole idea.) Five did the swing thing for a while and then asked me to get her out. Eh, I thought ok, the whole situation was a bit odd but alright. I grab her under her arms and puuuuuuuulll. She's stuck. Her thighs won't come out of the leg openings. I pull again telling her you need to hold the swing. She's doing the kid thing of going sort of limp which is the opposite of helpful when removing a small adult from a child swing. At this point, I'm like "why are you in this baby swing? You really need to reconsider this next time."

After four tries of yanking on her, the 8yo runs over to get the mother..... who has been sitting in her car eating all this time just watching me stretch her daughter. As she strolls over five immediately begins to lie. "6yo wanted to put me in the swing but I didn't want to go." I pick up E and quickly leave the scene of the crime.

What goes up, must come down

This is my blog post to say that I don't have anything to blog. Fascinating, no?

The whole vietnam thing is a giant hot mess. It's up, it's down, it's up, it's down. I hope, I despair and scour sites for fresh news. I've even contacted different agencies to see if they can please take me. I'm clean and reasonably happy. I'd make a great dad. Honest. I have a reference.

Every time I think I've processed it and moved on there will be a little glimmer of hope.

On the bright side if it doesn't work out our financial picture will be lookin up and yes I will buy my way into happiness.

Bugaboo Bangaa

So, I'm in the car the other day getting my groove on to Duffy's Warwick Avenue and singing

"I’m leaving you for the last time baby
You think you’re loving,
But you don’t love me"


and then I hear from the backseat "Daddy, you don't love me." So then I have to go into this detailed explanation about how this is just a song and it doesn't mean anything and that I'll always love him. Problem is you can't make it too big of a deal even though it zinged right through my heart.

Gah! I forgot about the little tape recorder. I can't listen to kid's music all the time. E's developed quite the repetoire, he likes Duffy, the Ting Tings, M.I.A... which is a problem. I've learned not to tell him the name of some songs because then he'll hound me into submission. He adores Duffy's "Mercy" and the Ting Tings' "DJ" song. M.I.A. is great fun but just try sussing out the bad words, it's enough to give you a M.I.A.graine. Also the questions are fun, "Daddy, what's a bamboo bangaa?" "Someone who hits bamboo!"

The next day we're playing in the yard and E's whacking away at a tree saying "I'm a bamboo bangaa!"

Ideas for McCain's next speech:

"My Favorite Talkies!"

"Fuel-efficiency standards for Trolley Cars"

"I take the blue pills on Wednesdays"

"Indecent Bloomers"

and finally

"Get Off My Lawn"

Don't touch anything!

The scene: average dirty public restroom
The objective: use the restroom with three-year-old
The dialogue:

"Don't touch that!"

"Why?"

"Because it's dirty."

"Why?"

"Because lots of people use this bathroom and not everybody washes their hands. Don't look under there!"

"Echo! Echoooooo! EEEECHHHHOOOOOOOOO"

"E, can you be quiet please."

"Why?"

"Because you're being really loud."

"What's this?"

"Oh my god! I don't know, give me one second and don't put your thumb in your mouth."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what you just picked up."

"What's he doing?" / looking under stall divider

"He's p eeing."

"I wanna see."

"The man wants privacy."

"What's he doing?"

"He's p eeing."

"No, he's p ooping."

"Whatever. Just leave him alone."

"Why?"

"I said DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING and stop looking under the wall."

"Hello!"

"E Stop it!"

/ mad dash to wash hands and get out of bathroom before we're seen

Sneezey

So, you're suffering from allergies and the pollens are attacking your respiratory system every day, every hour, what feels like every minute. How could it be worse?

I'll tell ya. You pull a muscle on a particularly violent sneeze and now every time you sneeze it feels like someone is poking you in the side with a screwdriver. Hooray! We're experiencing a big rainstorm now that will hopefully clear the air out. I'm trying Claritin now to see if it will have some effect on my sneezing spasms.

........

Call me crazy but I'm thinking that we might wait Vietnam out to see if some miracle might happen. The chances are miniscule but there is a chance. In some ways it's easier to delay making a decision too. Maybe the universe will provide, maybe it won't.

All the love that you long for eludes you

It's been a strange week. I found myself in mourning, feeling like I'd lost a child. It's completely irrational I know but it was like a slam in the chest. Why do things have to be sooo difficult sometimes? My mind is weary from thinking about the options, and the countries, and the laws, and the finances. How bizarre that surrogacy seems like an easy choice now. My ipod randomly offers up Kirsty MacColl's "You Just haven't Earned it Yet Baby."

You just havent earned it yet, baby
You just havent earned it, son
You just havent earned it yet, baby
You must suffer and cry for a longer time

and it's oddly comforting. I can move past this and start anew. Hope glimmers a bit, there is backchannel talk about a possible renegotiation but I'm cautious. I have a fabulous life now, a wonderful partner and an amazing son who will be turning 3 this weekend and this is where I'm needed in the here and now.

The cake is ordered and I've bought the party supplies, the guests (all of them) have all said they're coming. I'm leaving work early today to take the cupcakes into school to have a little party and then we celebrate again with friends and family.

I will stop and look around and take in all the love and joy that a noisy fun house can entail.

Happy Birthday my little man!

Normally I'd post an update here, but it's too much right now. Sometimes you hear news that just flips your world:

From the US Embassy in Hanoi:

On April 25, the Government of Vietnam announced that it will allow adoption to be completed in cases where prospective adoptive parents have been matched with a child and received an official referral prior to September 1, 2008. It further stated that in accordance with Vietnamese law, the DIA will suspend the acceptance of new dossiers on July 1, 2008. On September 1, 2008 any dossier that has not received a referral will be closed and returned to the Adoption Service Provider. In view of the processing time required in Vietnam from placement to the Giving and Receiving Ceremony, an adoption process begun now cannot be completed before the current Agreement expires.

That's it. That's all it takes. Sometimes words can hit you physically, like a punch in the chest...

never everland

I sometimes read a discussion group with people who are considering parenthood. It's an interesting window back into a time I can scarcely connect with any more. My life seems split into two pieces now: one with child and one long ago.

One of the most striking things about the pre- or maybe not at all parents is how they speak in absolutes. "I'll never take my child to Disneyland." or "I can never give up my reading time."

I grin and chuckle to myself. How strange to be so sure of anything. What I've learned from being in a relationship for near 10 years now and having this little adorable id come into my life is that nothing is concrete. Even something as simple as food preferences are fluid. You don't like broccoli today but in a month maybe so! I'll never buy Disney products and then there I am with a set of Mickey Mouse underwear because I can't deny that big grin. Here I am kicking a soccer ball and looking up leagues for the summer. I hate sports.

It's liberating though. We can box ourselves in with these conditions and once you let go you realize just how much fun you can have with a couple puppets on a rainy afternoon.

reality bites

So, was that the most shocking American Idol result ever or what? I'll miss Michael Johns. He may be the best singer they've ever had on the show. I've already downloaded several of his singles and they're all fantastic. So, I'll be waiting for his album, it will be fabulous as well.


and for those of you who are Dancing with the Stars fans I leave you with this clip:

Whistle while you wurk

I'm coding! I've decided to input all my error messages that will appear in the fuuutuuuure in all caps because the whole upper case, lower case things takes waaay too many keystrokes.

Now all my error messages will be all SHOUTY! First time I get one I'll be like whoa, what's with the yelling and then I'll remember and be like oh yeah, I was lazy.

Place your bets!

We're on our way! We're now DTV! Dossier to Vietnam. Rolling those dice and hoping for the best.

/ sitting by phone

/waiting

hmm, nothing yet.

Any second now I'm sure......

: )

San Diego - Legoland sucks

Travelling with a toddler is always interesting. It's like trying to juggle and spin the plates at the same time. Drop a ball or fail to get that plate going and things crash... loudly. Overall though he was an excellent little traveller. I bow down before the portable DVD player, oh keeper of entertainment and sanity.

My mission here today though is to warn parents of small childern about the dangers of Legoland. Do not go! The wait was 45 minutes to an hour for each ride. There were no quick lines. Everything was an hour including the wait for lunch. I repeat stay away from Legoland. The miniature cities were fantastic but really was it worth the price of admission, probably not. Also after waiting an hour at the last ride of the day the evil woman decided that E wasn't tall enough to ride this ride, this despite the fact that he'd been riding these same height requirement rides all day long.

Sea World San Diego was incredible though. The park was well run and all the exhibits were quick to see and get out. Shows were on time and entertaining too.

Now, to go abroad. I just wish the dollar was worth more than the toilet paper on the airplanes.

sigh

Pictures to come!


Have a great weekend all!

Update

San Diego was marvelous. The weather was perfect... 75 and sunny every single day. It's the kind of place that you get home from and immediately start looking at real estate prices.

Sea World was phenomenal, LegoLand was surpisingly frustrating, more to come...

Here comes the son, do de doo doo

So in a few short days we'll be boarding a plane for our first cross-country trip. I'm excited and nervous for all of us. It's going to great to get out of town and experience some sun with the son.

I've packed the toys, and books, games, and movies. I think we're about as prepared as we can be.

Wish us luck and happy equinox to you!

Ciao, chow

I'm in the classic office space where the cubes face one other individual. I'm fluxing between positions and right now I'm in a sort of holding cel until my new space opens. What's all this about? Well, my office mate never eats. This normally would be a good thing, there's nothing worse than a noisy office eater... however...

I've become horribly self-aware of my own eating. I get to work at an ungodly hour and forgo breakfast until mid-morning. So, I sit here eating my oatmeal and he's over there Terminator-like in his unhealthy non-eating, work-focused attitude.

I have my pre-workout snack and he's still not eating, clacking away at his assignments. After gym, I'll eat lunch at my desk and still, I've observed no eating. I try to hold off but I have to snack around 3ish and nothing still. He's probably eating, I hope, something while I'm working out. It would really make me feel better if he'd just wait until I got back so I wouldn't feel all this food guilt.

How can he be so selfish?

paper pregnant

We just got our last document from the government (the I-600a approval, I 797? I forget.) Anyway, just a few more steps, notarize, authenticate, embassy approval and then dossier to Vietnam. Soon, I'll be paper pregnant!

No one knows what's going to happen exactly. I just want to get the paperwork in so I can relax and stop my mental checklist. First time around we waited literally three days to get a referral so this will be a much different experience.

Aaah, patience, we're about to become good friends again.

Frosty the mud puddle

We're getting up in the 50's again today and 60's later this week. It's all rather surreal. I don't think I've gone this long without some sort of snow before. We've had a few piddling inch or so but it's always been gone in a matter of days. I fear this may be the new pattern for our area.

I want to build a snowman and show E how to make a snow angel. I had to get some keys made yesterday and I saw all the sleds stacked up along the side of the hardware store. I realize it's a luxury when I wake up and think oooh it's cold, it must be in the 20s, considering the arctic blasts some friends are receiving.


Oh no, watch us get a freak storm right before our flight.

I take it back. No snow the rest of the season.

Weekend

Busy week here as I've started my new job. Also, we've finalized our vacation plans! Details to come.

If you have any keeping a toddler happy on an airplane tips I'd love to hear them.

Happy weekend everybody.

Friendly Skies

We got E a fisher-price airplane for Christmas. It's one of those Little People planes with various people going on vacation and a little pilot to fly the big plastic jet. He's really enjoyed it, putting all the people in and sending them to parties. He loves the parties.

He'll say the various phrases the plane cheerily spouts like "Ready for take-off!" and "Welcome aboard!" Well, one day he was walking around spouting something unusual. I asked him, "where did you get that?" He says "from the airplane."

I hunt down the plane and cycle through... listening carefully. Finally, I hear the culprit. "E, it says enjoy your flight, not enjoy your butt."

Not so sunny

Shocking story out of Miami as a mother falls ill and a Florida hospital refuses visitation for her partner and her children:

OLYMPIA — Four months ago, Lacey resident Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Pond and their children Katie, David and Danielle, ages 10 to 13, were set for a relaxing cruise from Miami to the Bahamas.

But Pond, Langbehn’s partner for nearly 18 years, was stricken in Miami with a brain aneurysm and died. The family says the way they were treated by hospital staff compounded their shock and grief.

Langbehn, a social worker, said officials at the University of Miami, Jackson Memorial Hospital did not recognize her or their jointly adopted children as part of Pond’s family. They were not allowed to be with her in the emergency room, and Langbehn’s authority to make decisions for Pond was not recognized.

“We never set out to change the world or change how others accept gay families,” Langbehn told the crowd at the Capital City Pride on Sunday. “We just wanted to be allowed to live equally and raise our children by giving them all the same opportunities their peers have.”




Read the full story below: I don't know that I'll be taking any trips to Florida any time soon. Lacey woman shares tale of denial at bedside of her dying partner

rawr

When the package says temporary tattoo... that means 2 or 3 days.

/ walking around with large orange tyrannosaurus rex on my hand

V-day

Had a really lovely Valentine's Day... well actually I feel like the celebration started weeks ago. E has started just randomly telling me "I love you, Daddy." It just melts me. He'll be playing along and just look up and say "I love you, Daddy." out of the blue. Wow. Valentine's was just a Thursday when you have that going on.

Also he's starting to sing songs while he's playing. You wonder how much your kids are paying attention when you play music or sing or whatnot and I'll catch him singing entire verses to songs. I've always been a big music fan, looking out for new stuff so I'm thrilled that he's catching the musical bug.

No news on the paperwork front. I'm waiting, waiting for the I-171 approval. While the wait is going on, I'm fearing that some of my older documents are getting past their prime.

Ay-yay-yay

I'm still waiting for my I-171 approval. Grrr it's frustrating. It's the last, very last piece that I need. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

I can't seem to focus on much else. I know it would still be early but I'm so anxious to get in line for our little one and I know there'll be a good long wait once we get the dossier in. Still, I'll be able to relax a little and focus on a couple other things that we need to take care of.

We're taking E to his first little concert this weekend. It should be interesting. He loves music and it's a kid-oriented show so I think we'll all have a smashing time.


It's really beautiful out and I'm stuck in this hermetically sealed office building. Oy.

More later, I'm off to obsessively read about Vietnam. It's very healthy!

One day in Iraq

I don't really like doing 2 youtubeish posts in a row but this vid is too powerful to let go. I've thought about this question many times:

Swan Dive Serenade

We could do with some levity around here so I want to introduce you to one of the best kept musical secrets. I don't recall how I stumbled across Swan Dive but this song "Circle" really helped pull me out of a difficult funk (long story best told later). It's full of joy and bounce and I keep coming back to this song year after year. It's definitely a throwback to a Bacharach kind of vibe and I dare you to stand still while this is playing. Better yet get up and dance with me. You'll find E and me dancing around the kitchen in our socks, better to get your glide on.

Happy Weekend my friends!

Process

So, like much of the Vietnam adoption community, I've been processing this latest salvo from the state dept. If you are in process you already know what it says but for the rest of you I'll summarize, No one knows what will happen after September when the current agreement between the US and Vietnam will expire. Cases in process will continue under the current rules but future cases are in limbooooooooo.

Well bite me.

We switched from Guatemala because the system was imploding. We had begun with an agency and it was raided. The children were confiscated and placed in various foster homes and and the nightmare begin and continues for the families. (The agency has since been vindicated but that won't be making the international news.)

So, after much research we found our new country and our new agency. My fingerprints are done and I'm waiting for my I-171 and then my dossier will get certified and blah blah and then submitted to the Vietnamese embassy. I'm all in. I have to think that the two countries will work this out. There is desire on both sides to help the children and the corruption doesn't seem nearly as pervasive as in Guatemala.

I think this will work out. Sometimes you have to jump off the diving board and commit..... now it's just waiting for that splash.

Subtle Subtitle.

I came across this Japanese potty training video. I think this is what my blog should be about, sharing Japanese potty training videos with hysterical subtitles. Are those squat toilets common in Japan? Be afraid.

Securing our borders

You can't walk into the USCIS office, you have to make an appointment. I set mine up for 10:30 and arrive 20 minutes early. I'm not familiar with the area nor was I sure where to find parking. I've brought my book (The Golden Compass, quite good actually) and my journal that I got myself for X-mas. Some 90 minutes go by before I get to approach the window to hand in my I-600a to the Helpful Customs Agent (HCA).

I hand in my application and say "The instructions say copies are ok. Can I give you a copy of my homestudy?"
"Your agency is supposed to send that in."
"But I have it right here, can't I just give it to you?"
"Usually they send it in."
"Well I can ask them to mail it to you if that's what you want."
"Let me check." / HCA leaves by a door in the back behind all the bank-teller like windows.....
"We can take it. Do you have an original?"
/ha ha I think! "Sure I brought an original too. Also here's my birth certificate."
"We can take a copy of that." / why is that copy ok? I have no idea.

We stare at each other.

"Anything else?" She has that why are you still here look.
"Don't I need to be fingerprinted?"
"Yeah, we need to set that up."

We stare.

"Can I do that here?"
"Yeah, we can set up that here if you want."
"Okay that would be great. It would save me another trip down here." I smile and pretend I'm walking along the boardwalk on Rehoboth Beach.

We stare at each other some more. I wonder how thick the glass is and if I hit it would it crack? It's a good thing the glass is there.

"Do I set it up here?"
"Yeah we'll do that for you."
"OK, that's great."
"You can pay for both the application and the fingerprinting together."
"Swell."

...

"You can have a seat."
"OK!" I chuckle a little trying for a ha ha, I'm such a goof.

I'm thinking I have no number, no receipt, I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. I scan the faces behind the windows. No one is looking for me. There's no activity....

Finally my name is called by HCA. "Here's your receipt take that with you to get your fingerprints."

...

"Is that here?"
"It's across the street."
"Does the building have a name?"
"It's in the Bank of America building."
"Do I walk in and talk to a guard?"
"Just walk in and it's on your left."
"Do I need an appointment?"
"Hold on, let me check." She steps back to confer with HCA2. "They take walk-ins on Monday."
"Great. Thanks so much for your help."

Making my exit, I see thankfully the building is indeed across the street and oh thank god there it is right when you walk in.... only... It's closed. Not a soul is inside. There is no contact number on the door either. I see a security guard in an office directly across.

"Um is that the fingerprinting office?"
"Yeah that's it. It's closed."
"Will it reopen after lunch maybe?"
"No it's closed every Monday."






/ head exploding

update

Hello all!

I'll be submitting my I-600a next week! Hopefully the approval will come 4 weeksish after that. The important thing is that paper is moving. I hate those still times when I'm waiting for someone else to finish something. I have one more document outstanding but at least I have other things that I can work on over the interim.

E's been fighting this cold all week so he's been waking up intermittenly coughing. He's fine during the day but the drainage really affects him. So, Daddy has not been getting a lot of sleep either. It's really wearing on me today. I'd put my head down on my desk right now if I thought I could get away with it.


Project Runway was terrible this week wasn't it? Still we have Rami. mrwor.

Just got word that the final draft of the homestudy was on its way to me.

/ hoping that all of my corrections were captured

/ eeeee

I dream of Vietnam. How much of it will prove to be real and how much is fantasy I don't know, but images come to me. I picture heat and palms and traffic. There are children selling, selling, selling and people honking and rushing with all kinds of goods stacked Suessian high on motorbikes. Papers swirl around me waiting for governmental stamps and ribbons of approval. I'm stopped by the deep, dark eyes of kids. Their's is a timeless, knowing gaze. Is he there? Is she this one?

I hate the waiting. I want to go the office and slam my homestudy on the desk and say "Here, take five freakin minutes and review this document."

I try to breathe in and think of Vietnam... Guatemala invades and morphs the countries into a rainforest mix. There's E waiting for me and there's a brother or sister, I can't see. It's all too distant and there's so many papers to go, so many offices to visit, so many miles to travel.

Right now, there's dinner, and bathtime, and play. The night will come, morning will rise and I'll make another call. Put on your happy voice and nudge things along, sooo sloooooowly

as a breeze hits the palm tree

and the insects sing

for you my little one

waiting so far away.

Iowon't

Hello all!

I'm back. Catching up on some work projects and getting back into the groove. We had a fabulous Christmas and week off. aaaah.

sidetopic rant:

Can I just say how sick I am of hearing about Iowa and its freaking primary. I really don't care what that solitary state has to decide. Why should that little select group have so much undue influence on the election. Move all the freakin primaries up to the same day and be done with it!

gah.

Anyway,

Glad to see you all again, B

Merry X-mas to all!

We're doing Christmas at our house this year so there will be much frenetic cleaning happening in the next 24 hours. I still haven't even finished wrapping all the presents yet either. I'm so excited about this holiday. I can't wait to see E unwrapping all those gifts and he's got lots to unwrap too. The gift order will go something like this E, E, E, E, E daddy, E, E, E, E, E, pappa, E, E, E... I'll be glad to get some new gifts as well. My enthusiasm for the old toys is really waning.

So, here's my Christmas wish to all of you. May your holidays be joyous and the new year prosperous. Peace to you and yours my friends. Mwah!



photo by me!

The internet is full of all sorts of useful applications:

Why I love Takoma Park

Image from the Fourth of July Parade:



Street sign:





Trombone Quartet at gazebo:



photos by flickr user takomabibelot

Do you hear what I hear?

Being a parent has pushed me into trying, experiencing new things. Some are things I never dreamed even existed. Some involve messes in places I never even dreamed possible and some are joys that I didn't know were even in the realm of possibility.

E woke up last night from either a coughing jag or a nightmare I don't know. I think as parents we're always tired because we operate with this hyper-alertness that in my case even extends to sleep. Little noises can wake me and trigger a house scan to make sure everyone is where they should be and everyone is safe. E's cries weren't subsiding so I went into his room to calm him down. I rubbed his back as he drifted back to sleep and it hit me how simple and powerful this was. This ability to soothe and take care of your child is almost primal and instinctive and it filled me with peace.

Another first, I made cookies for the school's holiday party. A local singer had come and everyone spread out blankets to hear songs both holiday and toddler-friendly. Picture a room of parents and 30+ kids with singing and dancing. The little ones can't control themselves they have to move, they have to jump, they have to dance. I never imagined that I would find this relaxing but then again I never thought I'd be able to drive on the Beltway either.

At first E is bouncing around the room but the lateness of the hour brings him back to me. L tiptoes in late and E squeals in delight reverting it seems back to infant joy. This is my idea of staying out late now. The two-year-olds have staggered back to their parents' arms as the 3's and 4's keep bouncing away til last call. E's in my lap and L is leaning against me as the lights come back up. It's 7 pm and it feels like 4 am on a Saturday. Now at least when a friend tells me about going clubbing I can now answer yeah, I went out dancing too and it was the best time I've ever had.

Known when to say when

If you only see one youtube video about drunk monkeys, this should be it:



I'm so shallow. The monkeys falling over completely toasted around 2:45 is highlarious.

The crying, the stitch, and my wardrobe.

I run over to Target at lunch to pick up a couple Christmas presents and when I get back into the driver's seat I notice something. What's that? Oh my. My pants have split right at the crotch. The seam has just unravelled exposing my calvin's to the world. I don't remember that being there this morning when I pulled them up. Of course I'm half asleep when I dress so it's likely I just missed it.

I'm thinking back to this morning when I was talking to my co-workers and I was probably sitting with knees apart. Did they notice? I've only been here less than 4 months so would they be comfortable enough to say hey, you're flashing.

Two months ago I was getting something behind my desk and the corner of my cargo pant pocket caught and ripped a perfect line in the front of my pant. I was wearing boxer briefs at the time and there they were. So this makes 2 underwear flashing incidents in a new office in the span of three and a half months. I had to tell my office mate about the front rip because it was so apparent. I may have to let this one slide and simply sit demurely through the rest of the day.

Ho, Ho... Ho?

I don't know why it didn't occur to me before but as we raced through the mall to finish up our shopping we came across the elaborate Christmas Land display in the intersection of the corridors. I hate malls and I hate all the faux holiday cheer. Oh yes Macy's I'm sure you're wishing me a Merry Christmas from your truly altruistic nature.... and yet... The big tacky showy Santa spectacles fill my heart with joy. It's so disjointed, like coming across a Hawaiian Luau in the middle of parking lot.

The songs were playing the fake snow was flying through the air and there sits Santa. This was a good Santa too. The beard and the belly was real and he had just the right touch of joviality. The looping tape wished us Happy Holidays in a variety of accents. Little dioramas showed us Christmas scenes across the world. Look the little pagoda has xmas lights strung across its pointy roof.

As we approach Santa I prepare to give my speech, "It's OK E I'll be right here for you. Santa just wants to find out what you want for Christmas," I rehearse. I let go of E's hand and he runs up to Santa. Uuuuh. OK he's lifting him onto his lap, here comes the breakdown.... and nothing. Santa looks at me, "Daddy you need to back up behind the camera."

"Uuuuh Ok, I was just you know, he's uh. OK. I'll be back here."
The elf has already whispered his name to Santa so he cuts right to the chase. "So, E what would you like for Christmas?"

E looks at him and with complete confidence states, "I had eggs and toast for breakfast."

whew, he still needs me. This year's list will be easy to take care of.

Hopin, Wishin, Waitin

I completed the draft review of my homestudy and sent it back to the social worker for corrections. Once I receive that I'll send the doc to my placement agency for review. I hate this part, waiting for others to complete a task. I'm afraid I had a bit of a meltdown a couple nights ago, arguing with L that we need to get things moving. I know the long wait is coming and so I want all the paperwork done. We haven't even begun the authentication process yet. There's no point starting until the docs are all at a common point.


The medical doc is done and I have my police clearances so really it's the homestudy that is holding things up, just like last time. Coincidentally it's also happening around the holidays. I wanted to be done in November. Ka-plow. Now, I'm looking at the end of December for dossier completion.

Now, I'm reading all I can about Vietnam adoption too. I think I'm better at filtering out the alarmists at this point. The process takes a certain amount of protectiveness. You take in as much as you can ignore the doom and focus on the positive. It's going to be a long night moon. I have my little man and he needs me. The rest is up to the universe.

Razzle Dazzle

It makes sense that this fabulous creature would appear on the trippy kids' show Yo Gabba Gabba. I've seen every episode many many times now. You remember her from the I'm the Internet psa fighting for net neutrality.

So, here's Leslie and the Ly's video. What am I thankful for? Gold Glittery Jumpsuits.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Game over, water boy

I've always hated Adam Sandler. Back when he was on Saturday Night Live he was just mildly annoying. I could fast forward through his bits to get to the good parts. His idea of a skit was Opera Guy? I mean come on. My son comes up with better routines tooting in the bathtub.

Then Chuck and Larry comes out. No I haven't seen it but I don't need to watch Hostel to know how bad that is either. In the preview the hot chick asks Chuck/Larry to feel her up. I can tell you that supermodels don't run up to me asking for body checks.

Now, I find out Sandler is contributing money to the Guiliani campaign. Sweet Jesus. I think it was Biden who pointed out that Guiliani thinks 9/11 is a verb. Congratulations Sandler you've out-douched yourself.

/ Rant over

Book Learnin!

This can't be right. I mean really, I'm this close to talking about boogies.

Don't forget your shovel!

I only recently discovered this song and I love it so much. I picked up the album on itunes and it's quite good. It's on heavy rotation in my car right now.




JCB song - Nizlopi

We met with our social worker and he has this ability to unnerve me. Perhaps I'm naive but I don't usually focus on the problems of adoption. It's probably a coping mechanism I admit but I want to look at the steps we need to take to get from here to there and back again. We've weighed the risks and looked at all the options we could and made our decision.

I do feel this is right and that the universe has pointed us in our current direction.

sigh.

I'll feel better once all this paperwork is completed.

November reign

Hello all!

I'm still around just very busy. We had several halloween parties to go to and there's been a rash of baby showers and birthday parties.

Also, I've been finishing up the domestic adoption paperwork. The Vietnam dossier is much simpler than Guatemala. I hope to get that knocked out in November. I wish I were more organized but this sort of rigid paperwork sends me into hysteria and checking and rechecking in a big loop.

I must get back to work. My project calls and there are forms to fill out!

Cheers!

I had to turn word verification back on because I started getting bombed by spam. Sorry. Curse you spammers.

A Hole is to Dig

When it rains, well if it ever will rain, I'm sure it will pour. A small trickle in front of our house became a torrent of water before long. After calls to the county to come and inspect the leak and calls to various plumbers we discovered our water line needed to be replaced. < gulp and ka-ching >

On the positive side, E was thrilled with the equipment in front of our house and marvelled at the big hole in our yard. You realize how cushioned we are in our modernity when events like that take you out of your comfort zone. E was very confused when I kept all his bathwater in the tub and we stockpiled the water on the kitchen counter.

I wonder what life will be like though in another 20 years with global warming ticking away. We have another freakishly warm day here, up in the high 70s. October shouldn't be short-sleeve weather. It's unnatural.

We have been able to enjoy our porch much longer than I expected though. Eating outside is one of the finest, simplest pleasures.

Have a glass of wine, cheers!

I am, I am Superman.

Ah, fall is in the air finally. The nights are crisp and brilliant. I no longer have to wrestle with the comforter on or off and can snuggle in all cozy under the weight.

We did our costume shopping for Halloween. It’s so much fun watching him experience all these rituals through his new and happy eyes. It was difficult to get him to focus on the costumes with all the dancing skeletons and cackling witches. I think I er he made the right decision as he bounded across the house, leaping the ottoman in a single bound:




Up, Up, and Away!

It's been a busy week at work and home. I think I'm nearly finished with the US documents and hopefully soon I'll get the dossier requirements for Vietnam. Oh how I can't wait to start that.

The State Department is now telling people not to adopt from Guatemala in pretty blunt language. My heart breaks for all those children and the families of Guat who can't take care of them. I will always have a special place for them. We'll be back one day and I hope to instill pride in E for his homeland even though it's far from what I think of the place and my own country at the moment.

Moonatoni

E has been playing pretend kitchen and cooking for a while now. He'll even ask to watch cooking shows at times (maybe he'll be our little top chef?). Recently we developed a game where I'll catch the moon and give it to him. Then he'll give me the moon back. I'll grab a star and give it to him. Yesterday we were walking back from getting his hair cut and I reached up, caught the moon, and handed it to him. He looked at his hand for a second then took a big bite out of the moon. I laughed, first time I'd seen this. You ate the moon! What did it taste like? His response: "really, really, really good pasta."

hee

Stardust

This picture is too perfect.

grabbed from my new favorite site, Found Magazine

collecting moments one by one

It seems there's always been songs that have helped me through difficult times or made summers happier seasons. It's fun now to have E bringing music to me, knowing that these new associations will take me back to the little dude asking questions and giving hugs.

As soon as he heard this song E loved it. What can I say he's got great taste. I'll buckle him up and he'll ask for the "Oh oh" song. This will always be the summer of 2007...



Have a great weekend my friends!

Traditional family structure - Maryland style

On the same day that gay families across the state were denied their civil rights this story appeared:

“A Maryland mother was arraigned on drug and child abuse charges after police said she threw her 6-month-old child across a room at a police officer. According to court documents, the incident happened in late July at a home on Inverness Drive in Cecil County.

According to court documents, state troopers were called to a trailer on Inverness Drive to check on the well-being of Evelyn Doninger, 23, of North East, and her two small children.

Officers said that they smelled a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the home, so they told Doninger they would be coming in. The court documents said that Doninger told police they had no right to enter her home.

Police said that they noticed a hand -rolled cigarette and a bag with what they believed was marijuana in it, as well as various drug paraphernalia. They also said they found two men inside the home and two children -- a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. Police said they told Doninger she was being arrested. The documents said she became "incredibly irate," stood up from a chair and threw the 6-month-old at least 5 feet at one of the troopers.

The child struck the trooper's chest and he caught the baby just before it hit the floor, according to court documents. Doninger then shoved the trooper, striking both him and the baby.”


If you recall the judges declared “that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born” Let’s see Doninger did give birth to these children, check. Traditional family structure hmm let’s see there’s two men in the trailer surely one of them is the father. It’s so nice to see the procreating traditional family prospering in the state of Maryland.

“Police said that the 6-month-old baby is doing fine. Doninger has since been released from jail. She is facing eight different child abuse and drug charges.”

Well hopefully she’ll still be able to get married even if she faces jail time…

What does this Post editorial have to say: If marriage is solely a matter of giving legal sanction to procreation, then what to make of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in a Missouri case granting the right to marry to prison inmates who had zero prospect of procreating? In that 1987 case, the court said marriage was a fundamental human right--kiddies notwithstanding. The majority in the Maryland case acknowledged that the prison case blows something of a hole in their procreation argument but took refuge in a simple declaration that they just don't care: The Missouri case just "does not persuade us," the court ruled.

Oh whew, I’m relieved. The wedding planning may be a b*tch from jail but luckily she will still be able to marry the little tosser’s father if she hasn’t already found the time between rolling those joints. Hey! They’re not going to roll themselves people.

Some of my anger has dissipated after the four judges in Maryland denied our civil rights. I’ve processed it and I’m moving on. If this is the sacred institution they want for themselves let them have it. They’re doing fine on their own in screwing it up.

Let’s have our civil unions. Let’s make them the most glorious, loving institutions the state has ever seen. We need to protect our families and our loved ones from capricious small minds. I hope the Doninger children find a loving and healthy home to grow up in. If that household happens to have two dads or two moms those kids won’t care. They will be wanted and they will be loved and sometimes that’s all a child needs.

This is a very sad day for Marylanders

Maryland High Court Upholds Same-Sex Marriage Ban

BY ERIC RICH AND JOHN WAGNER

WASHINGTON POST STAFF WRITERS

Maryland's highest court upheld the state's ban on gay marriage in a ruling issued this morning, reversing a lower court decision and turning back the most formidable legal challenge to date of the controversial law.

The Court of Appeals held that the ban does not, as the American Civil Liberties Union had argued, violate the state constitution. The ruling cannot be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, the plaintiffs said when the case was argued in December.

The court took the case after the state appealed a ruling by Baltimore Circuit Court Judge M. Brooke Murdock, who held in January that the 1973 law banning same-sex marriage is discriminatory and "cannot withstand constitutional challenge." In anticipation of an appeal, Murdock stayed her decision when she announced it.

The court's ruling today reverses Murdock's decision, which thrust Maryland into a debate that has raged across the country at least since 1996, when Congress passed a law barring federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allowing states to do the same.

In an opinion signed by four judges, Judge Glenn T. Harrell Jr., citing a Supreme Court holding on judicial restraint, wrote that, absent evidence of discrimination, "judicial intervention is generally unwarranted no matter how unwisely we may think a political branch has acted."

"In declaring that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structures in which children are born are related reasonably to the means employed by [the law banning same-sex marriage], our opinion should by no means be read to imply that the General Assembly may not grant and recognize for homosexual persons civil unions or the reasons," wrote Harrell, who is retired from the court but participated in the decision because he was a member when the case was argued.

Harrell was joined by judges Dale R. Cathell, Clayton Greene Jr. and Alan M. Wilner. A fifth judge, Irma S. Raker, concurred in part and dissented in part. Chief Judge Robert M. Bell and Lynne A. Battaglia wrote dissenting opinions.

Gay rights advocates called the ruling a surprise and disappointment given that several states, including Massachusetts and New Jersey, have struck down marriage bans. But they said the case galvanized not only the gay community but a wider group of Maryland citizens--and pledged to push the General Assembly to take up a gay marriage bill when the legislature convenes in January.

"We will be pushing for full, legal equality in the Maryland General Assembly," said Dan Furmansky,executive director of Equality Maryland. "This is a social justice struggle. Eventually, Maryland will have civil marriage equality for same-sex couples. It's inevitable."

Leading lawmakers said the gay rights advocates will likely face an uphill battle in Annapolis, particularly in the Senate, where a bill would be subject to a filibuster.

"It would be a tall order for the legislature to overturn existing law ... but it's not out of the realm of possibility," said Sen. Brian E. Frosh (D-Montgomery), chairman of the Judicial Proceedings Committee.

In past years, both efforts to legalize gay marriage and efforts to write a ban into the Constitution have not gained much traction.

Friiiiiday

Hello weekend. It's a marvelous looking forecast. I can't wait to get outside and soak up these perfect temperatures.

Work is keeping me busy but I've managed to complete my physical and get our house inspected so we've been checked inside and out. Another wave of documents will be coming soon. I had the wind taken out of me a bit when we had to switch agencies but I think I'll get momentum going again very soon.

Adorable E update. When he doesn't know the name of something he'll say "That leetle thing." I don't know where the little came from but it makes me smile when I hear it. Sometimes I make him say it twice just so I can hear it. No matter the size it's always "that leetle thing."

Enjoy yourselves my friends, I wish you well.

Under the long night moon

The adoption equation is a funny thing. The marketplace values ethnicities and gender with wait times and fees. Girls it seems are a hot commodity. We had toyed with the idea of trying for a girl and my mother is desperate for a granddaughter. Now, that seems as likely as getting a unicorn. So that decision is made. It’s a little heartbreaking to think that someone might "settle" for a son instead of a daughter. I had thought it might be interesting to bring that female energy into the house, but it's not meant to be.

So, we’re looking at a house full of dudes - two crazy, energetic puppies rumbling through the house. I love the spirit and life that kids bring to a home. When I saw our house I knew this was a place for a family. The yard was made for soccer balls, the tree in the back for climbing.

Somewhere out there is my son. He’s waiting to be born. He’s a small little delicate thing. I imagine his mother stopping to rest, knowing that something is different. Does she know he’s there? I send my love far away across the world and pray for him and his family that was and his family to be.


We're waiting for you....

All the boys say...

I don’t remember playing No Doubt’s Hey Baby to E but somehow it’s become stuck in his wonderful jangly head. At odd moments he’ll start singing “Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey! Girls say, Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey!” It’s hysterical. Fortunately he stops at the chorus.

I still can’t remember saying it. Perhaps I sing it without knowledge and like my oy’s and dude’s he’s picked it up there.

Could be worse, I have been known to sing a Missy Elliot now and then.

Miles to go

Well we have the extra seat in this family car and now we just have to figure out which road to take and we'll find our little one waiting out there somewhere. Like E says all the time now, "What happened?" he or she will say. The stars seem to be pointing us to Vietnam.

I’d gathered information on V in the past so I have some familiarity with the country and process but the reality of it and logistics are another matter. I’m continuing getting my homestudy ready. The urgency is gone now as I look around at what the new requirements are and wrap my head around this sudden jolt.

The new job is going well. I’m trying to stay focused while here and not let all the little stressors seep in.

We said goodbye to E’s old school. It was a touching and surreal experience, kind of E’s first graduation. He was oblivious to the whole situation and couldn’t understand why I was having him hug all his teachers. I’d hand him over and he’d immediately want to come back to me.

I get a bit paranoid during the referral and placement process so who knows… this blog may disappear at some point. I wish I could make it password protected for a bit.

Details to follow. It feels like someone has thrown our map out the window but we’ll the car back on the right road. E says he needs to go potty so time to pull over. We’ll catch up with you all later.

A door closes

I should be packing right now. I should be taking the pictures off the wall and stowing them. I should be purging paper and folders but I can't focus on even such a simple task.

You want to believe that there's a plan and that the universe is guiding you along to some goal. When I look in E's eyes I believe we were destined. Then and now I got the paperwork ready. Clearances and evaluations fly across towns and get stamps of gold seal and ribbons of officialdom. Each delay meant the celestial clock ticked closer to the appointed hour. Now, I fly through the papers, no hitches. Everything runs smooth and efficiently. We approach that magical referral moment and tragedy strikes.

The agency is raided. Fourty-six children are confiscated like illegal drugs. Fourty-six children linked forever to families across the globe. That could have been me. That could have been my child. My heart aches and I feel lucky and guilty. The bureaucracy frightens me as it never had before. Politicians are cracking down they say. What is the truth? The description of the orphanage sounds nothing like the happy, clean place that I visited. None of it makes sense to me.

I pray for the children and the day the families will be reuinted. Guatemala is a beautiful and dangerous place.

It will be a long time before I go back and I wonder if I'll ever tell E about any of this. I suspect I won't tell him much at all.

Time to pack.

May you live in interesting times

It’s been an unusually turbulent time. You have to accept and embrace a certain amount of risk or things simply stagnate. So in our house we see a number of changes. E is starting his new school in 2 weeks and the preparation and planning is reaching a crescendo. There’ve been visits and playdates and meetings, all necessary but adding to the chaos. He really likes the school and I’m happy to meet the children he’ll be spending his days with and the families we’ll be getting to know.

Meanwhile, I decided to take a temp position in my agency. Hopefully this will work out to be a positive change. My current office has been doing the paper cut torture test where little annoyances upon little annoyances grow and grow. It’s left me drained and grouchy. I think this will be a good move for me with lots of potential.

Meanwhile, meanwhile…. We decided to pursue another adoption. There was much debate and angst but we decided that time was running out and we hoped Indiana Jones style to slip under the stone wall before Guatemala closes. Things were proceeding well, as we applyied our knowledge from last go around and then BLAM! our agency was raided over the weekend. There were charges (unfounded in my opionion) that illegal adoption were taking place. My confidence was shattered and the reality of the current politics hit me hard. I’m left shaken and worried about how to proceed. There should be a way around this but I’m not seeing it at the moment.

Bedknobs and Boo-hoo

So we finished painting E’s room. It’s a lovely shade of light blue on 3 walls and deep dark blue on the other. (It’s funny that we’d resisted the stereotypical blue for so long and now we’re embracing it.)

More important than the color though was the brand new twin bed! We built up the Big Boy Bed! We had a parade to the Big Boy Bed! There was much rejoicing over the Big Boy Bed!… and then bedtime and chaos. He hated the bed. He wanted to get up. He wanted anything except being in that bed.

I felt so guilty, like I was trying to push him to grow up when really this is a very fun age. When he’s this small everything looks adorable and to hear these big words tumbling out of mouth is just amazing.

….


A couple nights have passed and from the initial hour and a half to get to bed we’re now back to the 30-minute wind down.

Last night, he told me “Daddy, get in big boy bed.”
I told him “Ok, but just for a few minutes.”

We lay there quiet for a few minutes, E with his eyes closed. He lifted his head, looked at me, grinned real big and then put his head back on the pillow. That earned him another ten minutes with me next to him. After the ten minutes, I rubbed his back and said goodnight. He didn’t stir as I snuck out of the room.

An apple away

I’ve been trying to eat healthier and so I’ve been bringing in an apple for my afternoon snack. I carefully pick them out at the grocery store getting only the finest in appledom. I’d set it there on my filing cabinet as I happily and cheerfully worked away knowing that my apple was waiting for me.

Well, I’ve noticed a penchant by those co-worker people to pick up my apple and examine it as if it’s being judged at some county fair in the Best Office Apple category. Ew. I don’t walk over to your desk and pick up your sandwich and remark on the texture of the bread. I liked having my apple out. I think it’s a rather sunshiney fruit right up there with bananas and blueberries.

So, now I’ve had to hide my apple away in a dark, dark drawer. If anyone asks I'll deny having any fruit. It's a personal matter, yeah.

Gotta Be Starting Something

Thursday, July 19, 2007; 1:20 PM (AP)


WASHINGTON -- Michael Jackson toured the Smithsonian's National Air and Space and American Indian museums, arriving with his children before the buildings opened to the public.

"He wanted to show them the sights," Raymone Bain, a publicist for the 48-year-old pop star, told The Washington Post.


At the air and space museum, Jackson lingered over the 1903 Wright Flyer, the first heavier-than-air powered aircraft to make a sustained flight with a pilot aboard, during his visit Wednesday. His children enjoyed robots R2-D2 and C-3PO from the "Star Wars" movies.

Jackson will be in the Washington region for a few days. Bain said the singer has been looking for a vacation home.


...



I'm choosing to see this as a positive sign for the upcoming election... a little dove returning with an olive leaf and a burka telling us that DC has been cleaned of the republican mess.

Red, Red Whine

What is it about the beach that renews us and recharges us? Does the sound of the ocean awaken some primordial, instinctive pleasure? We’d start the day with a leisurely breakfast and then head to the beach for a few hours until lunch beckoned. After a nice long nap we’d wake and stumble into town for a little browsing, dinner and then home to crash. It was a week of warm sun, frozen drinks, sand castles, and toy boats. It was heaven.

I love the rich dessert of Rehoboth with the giddy kids, the grandparents and the gays as the icing on top. That’s a terrible mess of a metaphor. Eh. Whatever. I’ll let it sit there.

We came home to catch up on all our bad tv. We are addicted to So You Think You Can Dance and Top Chef. I hope I’m not losing some valuable thinking um part of the brain as I spend more time in children’s literature and constant vigilance.

The vacation was a nice recharge and I need to figure out some way to hold onto that relaxed state even as E drives me insane. I was worried how it all might go a week together with no breaks but it was great, no problems. Relaxed and on the beach even L was talking about E2.

It’s amazing what a margarita and a little sun can do.

Rehobound

It's been a crazy week here but we're finally reaching the conclusion. Tonight there will be mad packing and then Saturday we leave for lovely Rehoboth.





I can't wait. We've rented a cute little beach house and some family is stopping by for part of the week. There's sand to dig, castles to build.

...and we'll be celebrating my birthday. I feel the wisdom rushing towards me as I gain another year. I feel a little creakier in the joints, a little more patient in my understanding, and a lot more loved where it counts.

See you all in a week and some change!

rock-a-bye

E's talking more and more. New phrases are popping up all the time. I was trying to get him to come downstairs and he looks at me and says "I'll be back." and he dashes off to his room.

We don't get a lot of cuddly E because he's such an active kid so when he is still and silent I just drink it up. The evening routine is golden. We read lots of stories at bedtime. He'd keep going and going if we'd let him with story after story. I think it's partly interest and partly stalling. After the stories we sing a few songs and then I put him down. Last night, he was fading out, yawning widely as I put him in his crib. I lean over softly saying "I love you." He turns over, look up at me, eyelids heavy and tells me, "I tooted."

aaaaw

You may have missed...

Nice story about gay parents from CNN:

Jackson is one of 65,000 adopted children being raised by same-sex parents in the United States, according to a March 2007 report compiled by the Urban Institute and the Williams Institute at University of California at Los Angeles School of Law.

The same report estimates more than 14,100 foster children were living with one or more gay or lesbian foster parent.

Roach and his longtime partner, Ken Manford, adopted Jackson from Guatemala in 2001 and say he is not overly bothered by the non-traditional character of their family.

"We worry about it more than he does," Roach said, although the two fathers acknowledged that Jackson had been asking about "mom" lately.

"We're pretty upfront about it," Manford said. "You just ...say, 'If you had a mommy, then you wouldn't have two daddies. Is that what you want?' And he says, 'No I want two daddies and a mommy.'"

"Well, there's not a mommy, you've got grandma, and granny and Aunt Jennifer. And he'll say, 'OK.'"

Though denied the right to marry in every state except Massachusetts, more and more same-sex couples are turning to adoption and foster care to form families, according to child adoption groups who study the issue.





Gay parents

gay-eR

Mingle² - Online Dating

R because of the word "gay" how ridiculous. I was worried I might get a G.

Oh the places you'll grow

I have to say the impatience/guilt combo is a unique emotional duo I haven’t experienced before parenting. E has perfected this unique mental torture game of saying “I’ll do it.” And then staring at you and then when you move to do it, he throws the fit down.

What is this about? Why don’t you do it? What is this test? The crying when you are told no makes sense but this staring at me after you say “I’ll do it.” …. What do you you gain? Arrrrgh.

He’s also learning to leap off the ottoman with wild abandon. It’s one of those parenting dilemmas. He’s an active kid so I’m all for any sort of physical activity that will tire him out without risking permanent bodily injury, but how much freedom do you free?

…


I had to tell our current daycare or school as we like to call it around the house that we’d be switching centers in August. I already feel bad about E losing his friends but I didn’t expect the reactions from the staff. I mean it’s wonderful that they care about him but I have to look at the long-term situation. E will be going to school with kids he’ll enter elementary school with and they’re all local families plus the new school is less than a mile from the house which means a quick commute for him.

Wouldn’t you know it that last week E had to go and tell one of his teachers that he loved them too. Oh little man you’re killing me. Save that adorableness for your new teachers! The teacher told me that after he told her “ I love you M.” she started to cry and he said “Don’t cry, M.” This may sound strange but I’m slowly becoming aware of E as his own person. I’d only been focused on what he was learning in school. Before last week, I hadn’t really thought about how he might be affecting other people too.

They say they want to have a going away party for E. Part of me hopes E won’t really understand what’s going on…. For my sake.

Happy Father's Day

Since I won't be online tomorrow, to all you Dads of all shapes, sizes, and colors. You're awesome! Give the little ones and big ones a hug for me.

Cheers, Brian

Milonga

I love this video. It's an amateur video of a milonga at the Freedom Plaza in downtown DC. I'd never heard of this popular summertime milonga, the Milonga a la Libertad, but apparently it happens most Sundays from 7 to 10 p.m. from May until Sept. It's free to join in -- participants are merely asked to bring a snack or beverage to share.




It's kind of subversive and beautiful. As the camera pans all the way to the left you can sort of make out the Capitol building. How cool would it be to walk down a busy downtown street and see a tango or waltz break out in front of you?

/ hat tip dcist

You may have missed...

Great article from the Baltimore Sun

...

Maryland's appeal is bolstered by the reputation of the Baltimore City Circuit Court, which was the first in the state to grant a second-parent adoption to a gay partner. It is well-known in certain circles as a friendly and efficient place for gay couples to complete adoptions and has, as a result, become a popular jurisdiction for such proceedings. Gay families also say they are drawn to Maryland because of the climate of acceptance they've found in the state.

...

Almost 4,400 children were adopted in Maryland in 2001, the most recent year that complete figures were available, according to the U.S. Children's Bureau. There are no figures for how many of them were adopted by gay parents. But a recent study found that Maryland is a leader in the total number of adopted children living in gay or lesbian households, ranking eighth among the states.

Using the 2000 Census, researchers from the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, a UCLA think tank, and the Urban Institute, a nonpartisan research organization, determined that 2,142 of the 32,269 adopted children in Maryland were living with gay couples.



http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.adopt10jun10,0,4812939.story?page=1&track=mostemailedlink

Daddy-o, Daddy-no

A friend recently asked me what it’s like having a 2-year-old in the house. I told him well I get this a lot, I mean seriously a loooot: “No, Daddy, No!” I’m wondering if he thinks my full name is Daddy No (not to be confused with Dr. No of course).

Then again we’re also getting little snippets into his day. On the way home in the car I was told with much force that “I don’t like beans.” Given the sentiment attached I pictured a massive pinto bean chasing E throughout the center. “EEEEK! I don’t like beans!” Actually it still comes out with his pseudo-Italian accent as “I don’t like-a beans.”

Pride festivities are this weekend and we are celebrating with full rainbow colors by having brunch. It will be great catching up with some friends and we may just hit the fair as well. I like-a brunch.

With a name like Maryland, we expect more.

The turtle blog salutes Equality Maryland for doing the lord’s work. Marylanders can easily get involved in protecting our civil rights using their website as a starting point.

Some of the more than one thousand rights, benefits and responsibilities that accompany a civil marriage license include:
· The right to visit a spouse in the hospital
· The right to make medical decisions for a sick spouse
· The right to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse
· Access to family courts for dissolution of relationships
· Death benefits for surviving spouses of firefighters and police officers
· Mutual responsibility for debts
· Joint assessment of income for determining eligibility for state government assistance programs
· Ability to sponsor a spouse from another country for a green card
· Community property ownership protections
· Child custody, visitation, and duties of financial support to children
· Eligibility for health benefits (without taxation) and COBRA benefits through an employer
· Ability to take leave to care for a sick spouse under the Family and Medical Leave Act
· Right to inherit a spouse's pension
· Entitlement to inherit social security and disability benefits upon the death of a spouse
· Ability to inherit jointly owned property without incurring tax penalties
· Right to file joint income taxes
· Ability to put a spouse on the deed to a home without incurring tax penalties
· Access to "family memberships"
· Domestic violence protections
· Immunity from testifying against a spouse
· Right to sue for wrongful death of a spouse

The Maryland Court of Appeals could issue a verdict any day now. Keep your fingers crossed everybody!


Sign the petition! Get involved!

A little over nine years, on the sidewalk in front of Lauriol Plaza, (now Rosemary’s Thyme) a mutual friend introduced me to this smart, handsome man. He was coming from his office so was carrying all these blueprints that looked like they would overwhelm him. There was an air of rumpled, confident sexiness about him. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time that was slowly grinding its way into a messy break-up. Later we’d go on our first date, adopt a dog, talk about starting a family….


I’ve never been happier in my life and I know that’s because of L. To belong is a wonderful thing and I know we belong together. If I could put into words how wonderful you are this blog would never end. Happy anniversary L!

What, me worry?

I am the designated worrier in our family. Systems evolve and partners take up different roles as they discover what they’re best at. It seems that I have a remarkable ability to see the danger lurking in the most inoffensive scenarios. I blame my mother of course.

I don’t always seek out this information on hidden dangers, one reporter with a black light in a motel room can cause long-lasting permanent damage. I have a modicum of control. I don’t run up to people eating a hot dog to tell them how much foreign matter is allowed by law. With close friends I warn them that they can stop me at any time but I have to let them know about the dangers of eating that unwrapped communal candy sitting so close to the restrooms if you get my drift.


The latest anxiety to manifest itself is sodium benzoate:

A University of Sheffield researcher says a preservative commonly used in soft drinks and other food items may cause genetic damage -- contributing to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases like Parkinson's.

Professor Peter Piper has spent eight years studying the effects of sodium benzoate, known as E211 in the food industry. Sodium benzoate is widely used to inhibit mold growth in a variety of consumer foods. But Piper claims the additive produces cellular damage that closely mimics the effects of chronic alcoholism, causing premature aging and a variety of serious health concerns. He says his research indicates that sodium benzoate attacks a crucial portion of human DNA known as the mitochondria.

"These chemicals have the ability to cause severe damage to DNA in the mitochondria to the point that they totally inactivate it: they knock it out altogether," Piper told the UK newspaper The Independent on Sunday..

Members of Parliament immediately called upon the Food Standards Agency -- the UK equivalent of the United Stated Food and Drug Administration -- to investigate Piper's claims.

Sodium benzoate is widely used in soft drinks, jams, pickles, mouthwash, and animal foods. It occurs naturally in cranberries and a number of common fruits. Sodium benzoate is also used as an additive in some fireworks.

…

So, each time I drink a diet soda I’ll be thinking of cellular damage or eating bottle rockets. No thanks.

Meanwhile,

now our son is becoming more and more the daredevil. I know injuries will happen sooner or later. I broke several bones through my childhood and with E’s dexterity and fearlessness it’s almost inevitable. He jumps off everything. If he can climb it he thinks he can jump off it.

He’s also picking up on my love of ninjas. I’m very proud that if you ask him what a ninja says he’ll respond “Hee-yah” complete with karate chop. L went even further and taught him to say “Ninja Warrior” with a kick. There’s going to be a call from daycare any day now, “yes I’m afraid E put a chokehold on another child and rendered him unconscious. Can you pick him up now?”